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ROCK OF ASIAN: Kollaboration 10 Ticket Giveaway!
Another Kollaboration extravaganza is upon us!
We’re soooo looking forward to the competition (frankly, we’re happy enough just watching the video of the contestants’ group cover of Chris Brown’s “Forever” over and over again), which will take place at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles this Saturday, March 6.
(Okay, maybe we just want to stalk our cougar crush, the ever-adorable YouTube star KevJumba, who is among the judges at the event.)
Get this! As media sponsors of Kollaboration 10, we’re giving away 4 pairs of tickets to readers! Here are the contest deets:
* Intern Jasmine will be judging the event.
* To enter, write a haiku on the subject: “Why Intern Jasmine Is Amazian.”
* Email your entry to info@disgrasian.com.
* Jasmine will pick winners by Friday at 3pm PST.
Here is my entry:
She taught me to tweet
We eat the same comfort food
Pinay pride for life
What’s yours? Good luck and party on!
[Kollaboration: Empowerment Through Entertainment]
Filed under: Abraham McDonald, and Peter Rocks and the Kollaboration House Band, Contests, Cougars, Haiku, Inappropriate Crushes, Intern Jasmine, Joseph Kahn, Just Kidding Films, KevJumba, Kollaboration, Kollaboration 10, Lisa Ling, Los Angeles, Michelle Phan, Nita Song, Patty Yoon, Pigeon John, Rex Lee, Rex Navarrete, Shrine Auditorium, TIcket Giveaway, Tony Rock, Vudoo Soul, We Are Heroes, Young Dudes
Ask The Intern: Is “Me So Horny” The New “I Love You”?
Guest Contributor Intern Jasmine of This Is Jasmine answers all of your disquestions! Today’s topic? Valentine cards.
Love is in the air! Jessica W. wrote in this week wondering what DISGRASIAN thought of these “Stank Sentiments for Sweethearts” valentines–love notes printed with select rap lyrics–and, more specifically, this one:
Call me a party pooper but it’s hard for me to get excited about a card that expresses a sentiment I’ve heard yelled at me for pretty much all my life. I mean, valentine messages are supposed to be special, right, and not what some random a-hole says to you on the street on a Monday morning?
I know, I know, it’s supposed to be ironic. But I guess I must have some sort of hipster irony deficiency because I’m just not seeing it.
All I see is this:
Continue reading Ask The Intern: Is “Me So Horny” The New “I Love You”?
Filed under: 2 Live Crew, Ask the Intern, Full Metal Jacket, Hookers, Intern Jasmine, Me So Horny, Phrases That Must Die, Stanky Stuff, Valentine Cards, Valentine Greetings, Valentine's Day
Business Cat, Business Cat, What Are They Feeding You?
Dear Business Cat,
I know you’re an actor and all, but you seem to have a lot of chutzpah (not to mention specs and a necktie), so I’m just going to follow my gut here and ask you a quick question.
Do you have any administrative experience? See, Intern Jasmine is really overloaded (our bad) and she totally needs an assistant. All you would have to do is order her meals, file her taxes, make sure her car registration is paid, call her in for jury duty, check her business email, reply to her business email, spellcheck her tweets, pick up her dry cleaning, break up with guys she’s tired of, untag photos on Facebook that associate her with former friends, make reservations at her favorite restaurants, and… whatever other odds and ends you still have time for. You also have to read DISGRASIAN every day (and spellcheck my posts too, as I get carried away sometimes).
I’m going to be up front here. The pay isn’t great. But at DISGRASIAN HQ there are (in excess): warm windowsills, cardboard boxes, crinkled up pieces of paper, tuna juice, laps, carpet squares, string, yarn, twine, ribbon, very tall spots for sitting (or standing or planning a pounce), tiny stuffed mice, ping pong balls, little toys that roll and make Continue reading Business Cat, Business Cat, What Are They Feeding You?
Filed under: Adorable, Awesome Japanese Behavior, Business Cat, Catching the Bad Guys, Cute Overload, Great Ideas, Helping Out, Intern Jasmine, Japan, Job Offers, Learning Curves, Sleeping With A Tie, TV Commercials
Ask The Intern: Oh! Miso Corny
Guest Contributor Intern Jasmine of This Is Jasmine digs through the DISGRASIAN mailbag and offers some words of wisdom.
DISGRASIAN™ reader Irene wrote:
Hi Gals, love your site! But am I the only one who is a little offended by the new Hong Kong collection that OPI nail polish has put out? Names of the colors are: Hot & Spicy, A Good Man-darin is Hard to Find, Bling Dynasty, Chop-Sticking to My Story, Jade is the New Black, Red My Fortune Cookie, Pearl of Wisdom, Panda-monium Pink, Lucky Lucky Lavender, Dim Sum Plum, Meet Me on Star Ferry and Suzi Says Feng Shui.
Uhh so when is the color lavender considered lucky and what does the color pink have to do with pandas? I know it’s all marketing, but it doesn’t seem like they had any Asians on their team to help them out with any of these names. Thanks for listening, end rant!
Intern Jasmine says:
The colors in the Hong Kong collection (seen here) look cute enough but you’re right, those names are awful. Not so much because they’re offensive, but because they sound more like the names of bad porno movies. “A Good Man-darin is Hard to Find”? “Hot & Spicy”? Is this collection a collaboration between OPI and Skinemax?
Speaking for myself (and probably for Jen and Diana, who have let me answer this particular query – thanks!), I’m not offended. Not really, anyway. I like OPI. Their polishes are cheap, colorful, and widely available. I don’t think they’re guilty of racial offense so much as writing really awful puns.
OPI’s been doing this for years. Colors like “ElePhantastic Pink” and “Moon Over Mumbai” from their India Collection made me groan while the color themselves were delightful and looked AMAZING on my medium olive skin. Their Japanese and Far East collections offered more of the same: great shades, awful names. Colors like “Miso Happy with This Color” and “Beige-Jing” make me want to do a big old facegong — like a facepalm only with a gong — and yet I waso happy with this color.
Waitaminute, we’re talking about a company that creates colors like ‘Legs Celebrate’ and ‘Talk Of The Town Brown!” The names are all inherently stupid, but this shit looks good on us, so fuck it!
[Chic Profile: OPI - Hong Kong - 2010 Spring Collection]
Filed under: disgraceful nail polish names, fuck it, Hong Kong, Intern Jasmine, Nail Polish, O.P.I., OPI, Reader Mail
Red Cliff Giveaway!!! Follow Us And Prosper
John Woo’s new film, Red Cliff, is now available on VOD, Amazon and XBOX Live and will open in theaters starting November 18, 2009. Red Cliff is film #3 in Magnet Releasing’s Six Shooter Film Series 2, and looks so awesome.
View the trailer here:
We are partnering with Magnet for a contest to offer a sweet prize package that includes: a full size RED CLIFF poster signed by John Woo (!!!) and the Magnet/Magnolia DVDs EXILED, CHOCOLATE and DYNAMITE WARRIOR.
You’d be stupid not to want this. And entering the contest is easy!
Follow @disgrasian on Twitter and post a tweet with the hashtag #redcliffdisgrasian. If a friend suggested that you enter the contest, include their @handle, and they’ll be entered too.
All entries will be collected on Friday, November 13 at 12pm PST, and entered into a hat. Intern Jasmine will then pick the winner out of the hat on Friday, November 13 at 12:30pm PST, after which we’ll post the winner here and on Twitter!
Sorry guys, but entrants must live in the U.S.
GOOD LUCK!
Filed under: #redcliffdisgrasian, Autographed Posters, Contests, DVDs, Everybody Loves a Winner, Followers, Giveaway, Intern Jasmine, John Woo, Magnet, Magnolia, Prizes Are Awesome, Red Cliff, Tweet, Tweets, Twitter, Winner, Winning
This Could Be the Last DISGRASIAN™ Post Ever
Intern Jasmine thought it would be a good idea to send us this video of eight perfect, precious, cuddly baby pandas playing with each other and their toys in a little baby crib.
The good news is that this is potentially the cutest fucking thing I have ever seen.
Which means we at DISGRASIAN™ may be finished.
Goddamn you, Jasmine. Goddamn you! (Oh wait!! I’ve still got it…!)
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Adorable-ness, Baby Pandas In A Crib? Seriously?, Icy Hearts, Intern Jasmine, Jessica Simpson, LA Lakers, Pandas Are Sickeningly Cute, Taking a Hating Break, Tila Tequila, Unfamiliar Warm Feelings
Kaling-y Chicks
Intern Jasmine frequently reminds us here at DISGRASIAN HQ that writer/actress Mindy Kaling is a comedic fuckin’ genius. That’s all well and good–Asians love a genius!
But it was only today, after reading about Kaling’s freshly inked overall deal with NBC, via the Peacock and Universal Media Studios (Asians especially love a successful genius), that we realized just how much we have in common with the funnywoman.
Kaling spilled the details of her mission to Variety, saying:
“This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world.”
WORLD DOMINASIAN? Now that’s something we understand. Jasmine’s right: Mindy Kaling, you are most definitely our kind of woman.
[Variety: Mindy Kaling Cues NBC Deal]
Filed under: Funny Ladies, Intern Jasmine, Mindy Kaling, NBC, Overall Deals, Peacock and Universal Media Studios, Variety, We're Taking Over Everything, World Dominasian
Baby, You’re Worth It
Ladies…
Remember. It’s not about whether or not you can afford to buy anything at Chanel [purrs].
What’s important is if, after glancing at a paparazzi photo of you with your ass-cheek-baring, Wet Seal denim shorts, cheap blue contacts, dirty knee boots, and just-bought treasures in hand, Intern Jasmine wonders innocently:
“[Maybe she's] like my mom, who saves shopping bags from fancy department stores and then reuses them to carry her lunch around.”
In which case… we’re looking at a great-looking lunch.
Filed under: Blue Contacts, Chanel, Cheeks, Intern Jasmine, Looking Cheap, Lunch, Paparazzi, Short Shorts, Sublebrities, Tila Tequila
Charmed, We’re Sure
Ladies and Gentlemen, may we introduce…
…Intern Jasmine!
Jasmine will be writing a column for DISGRASIAN every Saturday, for those of you that get a hankerin’ for some damnasian over the weekends. Enjoy!!!
Filed under: Columns, Everybody's Workin' For the Weekend, Intern Jasmine, Introductions, Saturday, Sisterhood of the Traveling Blogs
