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White House Party Crash Test Dummies

December 9th, 2009 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

News today: For crashing the White House state dinner, the oh-so-tawdry hobknobbers Tareq and Michaele Salahi have, as expected, been served with subpoenas–a decision made today by a congressional panel. The couple will face questioning on January 20 by the House of Representatives Homeland Security Committee.

Ruh Roh! Subpoena-oh!

Ruh Roh! Subpoena-oh!

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Abject Humiliasian

July 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Even though we kiiiiiinda think that Tila Tequila’s producers took Kristy–her last woman suitor standing–aside and whispered in her ear, “There’s an extra 5k in it for you if Tila picks you to prove she’s bi, but you reject her so she can still bang dudes” …we still really, really, really, really, really, really enjoyed watching Tila get rejected in her own fake final eliminasian tonight.

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!

PFFFHAHAHA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

HA HA HA HA!

MMRRGGHHA HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Rejection and Humiliasian

May 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Not everyone shares my love for Vince Vaughn, which is good whether or not he’s puffy ‘n’ old or young ‘n’ Brando-ish, smoking hot or smoking too many ciggie-butts, drinking too many scotches or… being a Republican or… whatever. Doesn’t matter. I love the dude.

Vaughn isn’t known for being all that particular in the female department–all signs seem to point to success if you’ve got a round rump and a couple of Patron shots at your disposal. So I have to admit, I was surprised as everybody else when I read yesterday’s “news” of Vaughn turning down a threesome offer recently at local LA bar.

(I know. I can’t believe people actually put this total ca into print either. But without it, there would be no DISGRASIAN.)

I’m actually quite shocked that any girl would take such a blatant and shameful rejection and make it public, but I suppose minute fame these days is far more important than shame. I can’t say that I would ever relive a romantic dismissal again, certainly out loud, to a friend or a tabloid. I may have too much pride. But that’s just me.

I know everyone’s asking the same question: “VINCE VAUGHN turned down a 3-way? He wouldn’t turn away a 3-eyed cow with a skirt on! Why would he do such a thing? WHY? Is he growing up? Did the girls remind him of Jon Favreau? WHY? WHY? HOW?”

I asked these questions to myself all morning, and then decided: any man that turns down free romps is doing so for a reason. And my theory… is that the girls were actually PETA bikini protestors. Nobody likes a pale, vegan orgy.

Nobody.

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Shaming One’s Offspring Not Limited to Hardass Asian Parents

May 18th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The AP reported today that seventh grader Miasha Williams was suspended from her Temecula, CA school for bullying another student. Williams’ mom, Ivory Spann, took her daughter’s punishment one step further, making the 12 year-old hold up a sign that read “I Engaged In Bullying Behavior” outside of her school.

Ouch, Miasha! That shit is harsh, honey. I feel for you.

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