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Having spent years working in TV, I know one universal truth about projects “in development”–there’s a 99% chance that they’ll never see the light of day.
Still, when Hollywood Rag reports that Bai Ling is set to star in Hydrophobia, a famous director’s horror flick (Currently, ah, still in development), as a “sexy femme fatale who lures both men and women into the pool, appearing as a sexy vixen at first who then morphs into an Alien-like creature with razor-sharp piranha teeth capable of opening her mouth as wide as a python to bite a man’s head off,” I get interested quick. Damn quick.
Sure, it sounds inconceivable. Maybe a little stupid. Maybe a little fake. But perhaps Hydrophobia simply seems like a film that won’t ever happen because it’s too good to be true.
Frankly, I’d like to see this film next year, and I believe the rest of you do as well. We are talking about Bai Ling as an Alien-like creature with razor-sharp piranha teeth, for chrissake, and that’s good shit that shouldn’t live in theory. The concept is so crazy that it could work. And Bai Ling is so crazy that she can do that work. Which leads me to one incredible conclusion:
Um, okay, so I’m not exactly sure how this discovery factors into the unemployment crisis, but I feel like I should send this scientific research to a czar somewhere.
Wow! Happy 40th birthday to M. Night Shyamalan, whose big day is today! We think your recent movies–although probably very successful–are kinda donkey balls, but who really cares? You seem like a great guy, and don’t look a day over 25.
Have a great benchmark year!
Megan Fox. Naked.
That’s pretty much all you need to know about Jennifer’s Body, a teen horror movie opening in September that’s kinda like Heathers with teeth (li-trally!).
Oh, and it’s directed by Karyn Kusama of Girlfight fame, and written by Oscar-winner and Hater-hater Diablo Cody, which means you’ll probably love the movie one day and then hate it the next for no readily identifiable reason, and all the while its snappy dialogue (“You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation“) will stick to your cerebral cortex like Krazy glue.
Get a piece of
Megan’s Jennifer’s Body on September 18.
Let me ask you, when you hear the words “horror experience in the toilet,” what comes to mind? The public restrooms at Port Authority? The morning after a Sichuanese or Southern Thai food binge? A snake taking a bite out of your penis while you’re on the crapper?
“Horror experience in the toilet” is actually how Drop, the new novella of Koji Suzuki, author of Ringu, is being marketed. The whole story is printed on toilet paper, takes place in a public restroom, and can be read in a few minutes. Because what better place is there to get the shit scared out of you than the turlet, right?
The fifth season of Project Runway began rather inauspiciously last night for Jerry Tam, designer of the line FORM and the first person to get kicked off the show.
Although Jerry, a native of Butte, Montana, cites avant-garde designers Martin Margiela and Rick Owens as his influences, the look he sent down the runway was more like…avant-weird.
The challenge was to make something out of stuff bought at the grocery store Gristede’s, and most of the contestants pussed out by making dresses out of tablecloths. Jerry chose to make a raincoat out of a shower curtain, which everyone agreed turned out très serial killer. (Styling the coat with yellow dishwashing gloves did not help.)
Perhaps Jerr-Jerr has a future in costume design for horror movies? That weird raincoat looked like something out of the killer’s closet in Brian De Palma’s Dressed to Kill, a slasher flick about creepy shrinks, sweet-faced hookers, and transsexual stalkers, sprinkled with some hot sex from a very MILF-y Angie Dickinson. The movie came out in 1980, and it is so of that time. It’s about loose women who need to be punished. By a man…dressed as a woman. It’s about the decadent, chaotic 70′s getting reorganized into the much more cold and calculating 80′s. It’s about Michael Caine, cross-dressing in a blonde wig and an unforgettable raincoat: