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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tony Chan, Sometimes Ya Gotta BS The BSer

November 20th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

This man’s limo driver apparently overcharged him by 800 grand:

Too rich to notice: it took months for Tony Chan to notice the $800k missing from his pocket

…so why are we looking at his toothy mug instead of the guy at the wheel?

Well, there’s no denying that the crime allegedly committed by Chan’s driver, Peter Rahhaoui, was wrong. Stealing from anybody, no matter how wealthy, is definitely not okay. So if Rahhauoi is found guilty, it’s slammertime.

But is it possible that this driver, currently pleading not guilty to the offense, is in fact a kind of shadowy, uncelebrated hero–like a less bloodthirsty, NYC version of Dexter, and was simply doing his part as a vigilante scam artist in order to keep the world in balance?

From NY Mag:

“…back in Hong Kong, Chan’s own credibility has been called seriously into question. Chan is accused of faking the will of his mistress, late Hong Kong property magnate Nina Wang, who was reportedly worth $4.2 billion at the time of her death in 2007. She was then the richest woman in Asia. A self-proclaimed feng shui master, Chan began his relationship with Wang as a design consultant and soon became her lover — despite a two-decade age difference. He carried on his affair with her even as his own wife became pregnant and bore a son (who Chan named, wonderfully, “Wealthee”). After Wang’s death, Hong Kong authorities allege Chan forged a will naming him the sole heir to her fortune.”

Not saying Chan deserved to be swindled, or that he’s guilty of anything that hasn’t been proven. Okay, maybe if guilty of all things above, he deserved it a liiiiittle bit.

And if he’s this careless with dough and hiring, maybe Jen and I should be working for him.

[via NYMag]
[BBC News: Appeal In Hong Kong Over Nina Wang's fortune]

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Ask The Intern: Oh! Miso Corny

January 29th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Guest Contributor


Guest Contributor Intern Jasmine of This Is Jasmine digs through the DISGRASIAN mailbag and offers some words of wisdom.


DISGRASIAN™ reader Irene wrote:

Hi Gals, love your site! But am I the only one who is a little offended by the new Hong Kong collection that OPI nail polish has put out? Names of the colors are: Hot & Spicy, A Good Man-darin is Hard to Find, Bling Dynasty, Chop-Sticking to My Story, Jade is the New Black, Red My Fortune Cookie, Pearl of Wisdom, Panda-monium Pink, Lucky Lucky Lavender, Dim Sum Plum, Meet Me on Star Ferry and Suzi Says Feng Shui.

Uhh so when is the color lavender considered lucky and what does the color pink have to do with pandas? I know it’s all marketing, but it doesn’t seem like they had any Asians on their team to help them out with any of these names. Thanks for listening, end rant!

Intern Jasmine says:

The colors in the Hong Kong collection (seen here) look cute enough but you’re right, those names are awful. Not so much because they’re offensive, but because they sound more like the names of bad porno movies. “A Good Man-darin is Hard to Find”? “Hot & Spicy”? Is this collection a collaboration between OPI and Skinemax?

Speaking for myself (and probably for Jen and Diana, who have let me answer this particular query – thanks!), I’m not offended. Not really, anyway. I like OPI. Their polishes are cheap, colorful, and widely available. I don’t think they’re guilty of racial offense so much as writing really awful puns.

OPI’s been doing this for years. Colors like “ElePhantastic Pink” and “Moon Over Mumbai” from their India Collection made me groan while the color themselves were delightful and looked AMAZING on my medium olive skin. Their Japanese and Far East collections offered more of the same: great shades, awful names. Colors like “Miso Happy with This Color” and “Beige-Jing” make me want to do a big old facegong — like a facepalm only with a gong — and yet I waso happy with this color.

Waitaminute, we’re talking about a company that creates colors like ‘Legs Celebrate’ and ‘Talk Of The Town Brown!” The names are all inherently stupid, but this shit looks good on us, so fuck it!

[Chic Profile: OPI - Hong Kong - 2010 Spring Collection]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Takeshi Kaneshiro

October 15th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy birthday to the hotness that is Takeshi Kaneshiro, who turned 36 earlier this week!


Kaneshiro (Chungking Express, House of Flying Daggers), who is of Japanese Okinawan and Taiwanese descent, can next be seen in the U.S. release of John Woo’s long-awaited Chinese war epic, Red Cliff, due in theaters November 20.

Red Cliff tells the story of a decisive battle between powerful warlords that took place at the end of the Han dynasty. It was originally released in two parts in Asia, totaling over 4 hours, but the U.S. version has been condensed to a 2 1/2 hour running time. If you, like us, can’t wait to see the film–and Kaneshiro reunited with his Confession of Pain co-star, Tony Leung–you don’t have to–we’ll be promoting free screenings in LA and SF in the weeks to come, so stay tuned.

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Typhoon Palin Expected to Make Landfall in Hong Kong This Month

September 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Take cover, Hong Kong. Typhoon Palin’s about to hit your shores.


CNN reports that Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at Hong Kong-brokerage firm CLSA’s Investors conference on September 23 (past speakers have included Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Alan Greenspan). It will be the first trip to Asia for the 45 year-old, ex-Alaskan governor, who famously bragged during the presidential campaign that Alaska’s proximity to Russia gave her foreign policy street cred.

The Atlantic Monthly wondered what Palin will have to say in Hong Kong, and beyond “bless your hearts,” “maverick,” “hockey mom,” “um, um, well, um,” and “real women obliterate wolves from planes,” we were wondering the same thing ourselves.

[The Atlantic: Palin Goes to Hong Kong...What Will She Say?]

[UPDATE: Business Insider suspects this speaking engagement may be a practical joke. On Palin.]

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Jane Lui

May 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


We basically love everything about the Hong Kong-born, California-raised Jane Lui. There’s that sweet, naturally pretty face of hers, coupled with her skinny frame and goofy-adorable aesthetic. And there’s her very familiar immigrant story and too-cute happy energy. But above all things, we love the strong, smoky, sensual voice that emanates from somewhere within the tiny person: a power tool that comes unexpectedly from its host.

Since discovering Lui’s greatness, we’ ve combed through her official site, stalked her on MySpace and Facebook, followed her on Twitter, and subscribed to her YouTube channel–uh, call us superfans (or creeps). What we really can’t seem to get enough of, though, is this collaboration with YouTube star SingingDork888, a cover of The Turtles’ classic “Happy Together” that gives us all kind of sweetheart tingles:

It makes us sigh, like black-and-white pictures of our parents when they were skinny, young, and smiling.

SoCal residents, catch some live Jane Lui action with DISGRASIAN favorites Kina Grannis and David Choi this month (May 14th at 6pm) at the UC Riverside campus Bell Tower. We’re gonna try and be cool in the back, but it’ll be hard.

[Jane Lui - Official site]
[MySpace Music: Jane Lui]

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Thanks, Meena!

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Control: Not Just for Janet Jackson Anymore

April 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

At long last, Jackie Chan went and decided to get all political on us.


From AP:

“I’m not sure if it’s good to have freedom or not,” Chan said. “I’m really confused now. If you’re too free, you’re like the way Hong Kong is now. It’s very chaotic. Taiwan is also chaotic.”

Chan added: “I’m gradually beginning to feel that we Chinese need to be controlled. If we’re not being controlled, we’ll just do what we want.”

Suddenly, we find ourselves wishing that Chan would shift his focus back to making oodles and oodles of money for clowning around like an idiot in bad Brett Ratner movies.

Seriously.

[AP: Jackie Chan: Chinese people need to be controlled]
[AP: Jackie Chan's China comments prompt backlash]

Thanks, Pete and Josh!

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BABEWATCH: Kacey Wong

March 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Kacey Wong

Hails from: Hong Kong

Occupation: Visual Artist

Why He’s A Babe: Besides rocking cool-geek chic as naturally as black hair, Wong applies poetic impressions of Hong Kong to very quirky, easy-on-the-eyes “experiments.”

Recently, Wong created a wheeled homeless shelter–including a bed and a desk–that unfolds from the shape of a robot (see photo, above). He says: “My question is: what if the homeless shelter is beautiful, to the point where it becomes a public artwork on the street?”

A four-eyed do-gooder with great intentions and an even better aesthetic? If that ain’t hot, we don’t know what is.

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BABEWATCH: Josie Ho

February 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: Josie Ho

Hails from: Hong Kong

Occupation: Singer/Actor

Why She’s a Babe: Despite being a billioneiress–her father is casino tycoon Stanley Ho–this ho works, and she works it double-time as both a singer and an actor. And she’s something of a rebel, defying her Hardass Asian Dad’s wishes by becoming an entertainer. And on February 27, Josie will be making her American film debut as bad girl Cantana in the totally retro, live-action Street Fighter movie, starring other babelicious ladies Kristin Kreuk and Moon Bloodgood.

Watch the trailer here. Visit Josie’s official site here.

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Let It Come Down

June 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey, which polled 26,000 people in 26 countries, was released yesterday with one shocking point of analysis: People from China and Hong Kong are the least likely to climax during sex.

Reuters reports that “Less than a quarter — 24 percent — of those surveyed from China and Hong Kong were able to achieve an orgasm every time they had sex.

OH NO!

This saddens me for a number of reasons, namely:

1) Chinese people are WINNERS. They should never be least likely to do anything–save for least likely to “not succeed” or “fail” or “do poorly on a test” or “lose in a Mahjong tournament” or “turn up their nose at a shiny new Acura.”

2) Sex is really fun. The thought of my overseas brethren suffering through hours of pointless, bad sex makes me want to punch a bitch.

3) Orgasms are what make sex fun. The rest of it (for the most part) is just fiddly, clunky, sometimes-smelly bullshit that ultimately leads up to the fun part.

4) The lack of screaming in the bedroom must directly translate into hot and bothered mothers screaming at their children to “PRACTICE THE PIANO OR ELSE YOU DISHONOR FAMILY!!!” and that kinda sucks.

5) I refuse to believe that our peeps are not good at ocean motion. I think it’s just nerves.

And nerves… nerves we can deal with. Here is my advice to all of our bruthas and sistas in Asia. You can come lately! The problem is simply that you’ve got big brains, and you’re using them too much. Try not to overthink it. Just RELAX. Stop using your graphing calculator to assess your partner’s increased heart rate and blood flow to the erogenous zones.

And when in doubt, put on sexy music. Peter Cetera is good. So is Faith Hill. If you can find songs with lyrics about “commitment” or “lifelong love” or “being partners” or “childbirth,” you’re seriously on your way to an orgasm smörgåsbord. SO EAT UP!

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Thanks, Jen!

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

March 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 52nd birthday to Hong Kong activist Leung Kwok-hung! You’ve spent many moons growing out that coif (we hear that you aren’t cutting it until China apologizes for the 1989 crackdown on the Tiananmen Square protests)– here’s hoping you have reason for a trim this year.

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Seems Rather Inconvenient

June 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Great news!!! Reuters reports:

Hong Kong’s winters could vanish within 50 years, with the number of cold days declining virtually to zero due to global warming and urbanization, the head of the city’s weather observatory warned on Friday…

Over the past century, temperatures in Hong Kong rose around 1.2 degrees, almost double the global average, said Lam, who warned that the city’s winters might actually vanish half a century earlier if Hong Kong’s rapid urbanization trends were taken into account.

‘We would really start losing the very distinct seasonal march throughout the year … We would really look more tropical than we (are) now,’ Lam told reporters.

The number of summer ‘hot-nights’ in Hong Kong, with temperatures above 28 degrees Celsius, has already jumped to 30 a year — an almost four-fold increase from the 1990s, said Lam, as heat trapped during the day by the concrete city and its teeming skyscrapers is unable to dissipate fully at night.

Lam attributed Hong Kong’s forecast temperature rise of three to four degrees by the end of the century to urbanization and global warming in equal measure.”


Ruh-roh. Check that, I meant “Bad News.”

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Disgrasian Dining: A Nailbiter

May 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Electric New Paper, a Singaporean news outlet (don’t ask where their “s” went), reported today that Rong Zhi Qiang, a Hong Kong 17 year-old, was busted for mixing three nails into his meal at a Yoshinoya in an attempt to scam the Japanese fast-food chain for compensation. Zhi Qiang SWALLOWED ONE 3 CM NAIL along with his crab roe and salmon rice dish to make it look real. This was not the teen’s first brush with the law. “He has been previously found guilty of stealing a handphone and causing hurt,” the new paper revealed.

This story begs for multiple reads. Trust me. Allow me to walk you through my reactions as I savored its delicious bits over and over.

First Read: LOL.

Second Read: SO RONG.

Third Read: Swallowing a 3 cm nail without f-ing up his internal organs? THIS KID HAS A GIFT.

Fourth Read: “The swallowed nail remained inside him for six days till it was passed out on Wednesday in a hospital.” POOR NURSES.

Fifth Read: Crab roe and salmon at Yoshinoya? FOOD POISONING ALERT.

Final Read: “The Yoshinoya chain issued a statement three days after the incident saying that the likelihood of nails being mixed with the dish is very small.”

I BEG TO DIFFER.

MORE LOL.

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