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What are we all doin’ tomorrow night? A little birdie tells me that Kobe’s having a par-tay!
And it sure ain’t to celebrate his Lakers’ mortifying loss on Wednesday to the Cleveland Cavs.
Rather, tomorrow the 5-time NBA champ, 2-time NBA Finals MVP, Olympic Gold Medalist and DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer will receive an honor that no other athlete has ever received: cement prints in front of Hollywood’s Grauman’s Chinese Theater.
And before you any of you start grossing me out by wondering aloud how big those hand and footprints are (seriously, BLEGH) please allow me to direct our attention back to the far more important headline: THERE’S GONNA BE A RAGER! You too can attend, if you have $350 to $4,000 to spend on an evening in sorta-proximity to basketball’s most talented douchetool.
According to TMZ, this over-the-top, “Asian-themed” bash is not one to miss.
The party is supposed to be INSANE — with organizers dropping roughly $50,000 to give Boulevard 3 nightclub an Asian-themed makeover in honor of Kobe enshrining his hands and feet at Grauman’s Chinese Theater earlier that day. … including a 15-foot custom made dragon.
A CUSTOM MADE DRAGON! Pish. If we had 50 Gs to spend on an “Asian theme,” you bet your ass we wouldn’t party without:
- Pai Gow poker
- Crab legs
- A “Math Bar.” What’s your pleasure: Multiplication, division, addition, subtraction, exponents, integers? You pick! Continue reading If You Aren’t Going To Be An NBA Champ This Year, You May As Well Throw A Sweet Party
Filed under: "Asian Themes", All-Star Weekend, Asians Love Gambling, Boulevard 3, Cleveland Cavaliers, Disgragers, firsts, Hardass Asian Parents, Hollywood, Huh?, Idiotic LA Events, Kobe Bryant, Kobe Bryant Gets Cement Prints At Hollywood's Grauman's Chinese Theater, Kobe Bryant Handprints, LA Lakers, Laker Hate, NBA, Say buh-bye to that big gold ball
We’ll be away from our desks the month of August, carrying on with the non-bloggy aspects of our lives, watching mindless movie blockbusters, and indulging in summery drinks made with generous pours of bourbon. During this month, we’ll be linking each day to a different website that we ♥. Hopefully you’ll discover something delightful and new while we’re gone. If not, you are a serious Captain Crankypants and are probably in dire need of a summery drink made with a generous pour of bourbon.
‘Til September, lovelies.
Mark Lisanti is the funniest man on the Internet.
Now before you say, “But what about Gwyneth? He’s a fuckin’ gas!” let me just tell you that I’ve been making this declaration repeatedly since 2004, when I discovered Lisanti’s little H-wood insider blog Defamer (after carrying the site to Gawker-fueled ubiquity, he left his founding editor post in ’08). I blurted the words to him at a poorly-attended cocktail party at Sundance ’06, after an hour of awkwardly hanging out in wait for Robin Tunney’s arrival, when his buddy casually dropped his name and I lost my shit faster than a rookie chili-eating contestant. I say it snarkily at parties, when I realize he’s funnier in HTML than in person (ZING, sucka! I kid, I kid). I grumble it to the sky ever single time the guy outfunnies me on a Facebook wall (this happens more frequently than you would think). And I sighed it aloud yesterday, when I read about his new gig as Deputy Editor of Yahoo! Entertainment Blogs via Business Insider (who I must applaud for choosing a most distinguished photo of the lad to compliment his success).
Super funny people are typically the worst folks in the world to be friends with. For one, the odds of them being totally crazy/depressed/derelict/perverse is about 100%. And two, they spend most of their time with you either being spitefully unfunny (they are, after all, “off the clock”) or proving, at all times, how much more twisted, quick-draw and sharp they are than everybody else. But the thing is, Lisanti doesn’t have to be cementing sticky celebrity nicknames or befriending Tawny Kitaen to make you laugh. He just makes you laugh. I often wonder if he even has to try to be funny, because gentle–but memorable–humor seems to seep out of his pores like joy from a unicorn’s eyes. He is Continue reading DISGRASIAN’s Summer Reading: Lisanti Quarterly
Filed under: Bloggers, Defamer, Editors, Entertainment Blogs, Friends are Nice, Funny Men, Funny People, Gawker, Hollywood, Jersey Shore, Losing Your Shit, Mark Lisanti, Robin Tunney, Sundance, Tawny Kitaen, Writers, Yahoo
Asians And Journalism Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong [We're Headed To The #AAJA Convention]
Angelenos! Where U at?
The Asian American Journalists Association will host its 21st Annual AAJA National Convention at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel in Los Angeles from August 4 to 7. We will have the pleasure of speaking on two panels on Thursday, August 5 as part of the “Diversifying Your Coverage” series with some of our favorite and most esteemed colleagues. Please join us if you can!
“Diversity in the New Media”
11:15AM TO 12:15PM, Los Feliz, 3rd Floor
PRESENTERS: Gil Asakawa (Medianews Group Interactive), Phil Yu (Angry Asian Man), Jocelyn Wang (8Asians), Jen Wang and Diana Nguyen (DISGRASIAN)
The Internet offers a mixed bag of voices, but the success of ethnic outlets is still developing. Experts and experimenters alike gather to talk tips, hurdles and highlights of how to make diversity in new media work for you and your readers.
“A Hyphenated World”
2:30PM TO 3:30PM, Los Feliz, 3rd Floor
PRESENTERS: Jeff Yang (SF Chronicle), Bernice Yeung (Hyphen Magazine), Cynthia Wang (People Magazine), Oliver Wang (CSULB), Kai Ma (KoreAm), Jen Wang and Diana Nguyen (DISGRASIAN)
Journalists, every day, are challenged to report on a diverse and multicultural world. This panel discussion shines a light on some of the stereotypes most prevalent in media today — with a focus on Asian-Americans in Hollywood – and offers insight into covering the subtleties of a world rich in nuances and culture.
Filed under: 21st Annual AAJA National Convention, 8Asians, AAJA, Angelenos, Angry Asian Man, Asian American Journalists Association, Bernice Yeung, Come Hang With Us, Cynthia Wang, Gil Asakawa, Hollywood, Hyphen Magazine, Jeff Yang, Journalasianists, Journalists, Joz Wang, Kai Ma, KoreAm, Los Angeles, Medianews Group Interactive, Oliver Wang, People Magazine, Phil Yu, Renaissance Hollywood Hotel, San Francisco Chronicle
If at all, I only watch the first few weeks of any season of American Idol, because I like watching horrible auditions and becoming overwhelmed with icky tingles. I also cry during the background packages about contestants that inevitably nab golden tickets to Hollywood–whether it’s the sweet church singer who takes care of his sick mom, or the country bumpkin with the Tennessee Twang that likes to jump off of bridges for fun:
So I just happened to be watching last week when 62 year-old Larry Platt debuted the original song, “Pants On The Ground” (a track he wrote to encourage baggy pants-wearers to pull their pants up):
Filed under: American Idol, American Idol Auditions, American Idol Season 8, Cover Songs, Golden Ticket, Hollywood, Internet Phenoms, Larry Platt, Malaysia, MC5, Pants On The Ground, Pants On The Ground Phenomenon, Simon Cowell