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Though it might seem a bit strange, I LOVE that 19-year-old Rhiannon Brooksbank–Jones, a UK student, got her slightly-shorter-than-average tongue lengthened–in a parent-approved, 15-minute elective lingual frenectomy.
All so that she could speak Korean without sounding “foreign.”
From the Telegraph UK:
“I’d been learning Korean for about two years, and my speaking level was high, but I was really struggling with particular sounds,” she said.
It became apparent after a little while that I was having trouble with the Korean letter ‘L’, which is very frequent and comes from a slightly higher place in the mouth than the English ‘L’, and that my tongue was too short.
Koreaphiles come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of commitment, but Brooksbank-Jones clearly knows that, err, bullshit walks and surgery talks. (Wait, what?) Or that getting freaky with Korean girls all through college does not a Korean expert make. Or that Korean culture is not *just* about imbibing copious amounts of Hite beer, KBBQ, TV dramas and sexy/angry/pretty men (Or is it?).
What I mean is, though she’s studied the language for two years, plans to major in Korean at University, and dreams of living in her beloved Asian country as an adult, she knows that real Koreans won’t pay her any mind unless she speaks like a native. And she did what it takes to speak like a native (in this case, that meant a small incision in the flap connecting her tongue and mouth floor). This chick is so not fucking around!
But just a quick aside: I had no idea that lingual frenectomies were so easy-peasy. To think that a simple snip could help someone speak an entirely different language? It has me wondering if a quick tongue-lengthening might help one speak all kinds of other languages… perhaps even the language of love? And by “language of love,” I mean YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
The Economist has released a color-coded map charting the findings of a new report (based on data collected from 2003-2005) issued this week by the World Health Organization, which compares the relative alcohol consumption of people over the age of 15 across the globe. The biggest boozers (averaging more than 12.5 liters of pure alcohol, per person, during the study period) are denoted in red. (Click here to see the complete profile of each country):
As you can see, Europeans really take the rum cake. According to this booze map, those Euros are literally BLEEDING ALCOHOL. Australia and Argentina kinda look like awfully great places to have some good ol’ drunk sex. North Americans make a fairly decent showing with just a blush of pink drink. And the Middle East is, unsurprisingly, clean as a whistle. Then there’s Asia…
Hey, wait a minute, what’s that little bright-red blemish on the edge of Asia?
Why, it’s THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA!
Dude. YES. We knew those mofos could party!!!!! Let us all raise a Hite to them!
[Ed. note--Right now, 48 million South Koreans are shaking their heads and muttering, "novices."]
[via The Atlantic]
[The Economist: Daily Chart - Global Alcohol Consumption - Drinking Habits]
[WHO: Global Status Report On Alcohol And Health 2011]
Filed under: Awesome, Booze Rules, Economist, Hite, Korea Can Drink Russia Under The Table, Party Animals, Ragians, Republic of Korea, South Korea, Who?, World Health Organization Alcohol Consumption Study, World Map