DISGRASIAN™

Never Say Fever

Intern Jasmine tells me that, according to some highly reliable sources, the First Lady has infected our favorite tarty celebrities with an epidemic of YELLOW FEVER!!!

Feeling Feverish

And here I thought the only people at risk were skinny indie rock guys, media moguls, ballers, icky MySpace sploogers, DISGRASIAN stalkers, and Nic Cage.

Hunh.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: First Lady Michelle Obama, Hilary Duff, Odd Marketing Phrases, Presidential Inauguration, Trends, Uh...WHAT?, Vanessa Hudgens, Yellow Clothing, Yellow Fever

Hilary Duff: Knock Off the Gay Talk

[via BuzzFeed]

Filed under: Hilary Duff, Hilary Duff's Teeth, Hilary-ous, PSAs, Spokespeople, That's So Gay, Tween Stars Must Die, Who In God's Name Listens to Hilary Duff?

Hello Grody

Japan has named Hello Kitty a goodwill tourism ambassador in hopes that “tapping into that fan base will lead to a bigger flow of tourists into Japan.”

Really, Japan? You sure about that?

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Filed under: Britney Spears, Celebutards, Goodwill, Grody Visages, Hello Kitty, Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, Mariah Carey, Paris Hilton, Steven Tyler, Tourism, Weird Japanese Behavior

From Our Mailbox

Dear Jen and Diana,

I know in the past you’ve dabbled with hating on me, and I don’t blame you. It’s easy to lump me in with this generasian of useless, overexposed, young celebutards.

I want you to know that I’m making efforts to get on your A-list. Not sure if you noticed, but I don’t date that douchebag Joel Madden, anymore, and I try really hard not to eat at Koi and Mr. Chow.

I know it’s a long process. But in the meantime, please accept this photo of me with my new look–I have aspirasians to look Asian. Whaddya think?

I hope we can be friends, even though I am a teenage pop star with large teeth.

x’s, o’s, and smiley faces,
Hil

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Filed under: Celebutards, Hilary Duff, Is This Racial Drag?, Joal Madden Blows Chunks, Koi, Making an Effort, Mr. Chow, Pop Stars, Reaching Out, Reformasian

THE INSANITY BAROMETER

Here’s what I imagine the Duffster was thinking leaving her house this morning: “Geisha-pale makeup? Check. Olsen Twin Hefty-bag cardigan? Check. Bed pillow? Check. Okay, I’m, like, totally ready. Let’s hit the Bev Center!”

Insanity Barometer, goin’ up!

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Filed under: Bed Pillows Should Stay in the Bedroom, Hilary Duff, Insanity, Why Is Every Tween Star a Coke-snorting Fuckup?

I Feel for You, I Think I Hate You

Here is Hilary Duff, who recently told People magazine about feeling“pressure to be thin”:

And here’s me, playing the world’s smallest violin:

Source: AP
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Filed under: Bandwagons, Hilary Duff, Suzuki Kids, Tween Stars Must Die

Enough, Duff!

Hillary:

The world has enough Bangkok trannies.

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Filed under: Hilary Duff, Posers, Trannies, White Girls