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The Office has launched a new 3-part web series featuring Subtle Sexuality, the girl band project of Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling) and Erin Hannon (Ellie Kemper). The band’s debut track, as you learn in webisode 1, documents Kapoor’s feelings about colleague Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak): ““You know when you love a guy, but he’s giving you mixed signals, but you know he really likes you, and you’re sleeping together?”–and is (naturally) called “Male Prima Donna.”
Filed under: B.J. Novak, Ed Helms, Ellie Kemper, Erin Hannon, Hilarious, Kelly Kapoor, Mindy Kaling, Mixed Signals, Offshoots, Rad Music Videos, Ryan Howard, Subtle Sexuality, The Office, Web Series, Webisodes
Okay, okay. As you know, I normally wouldn’t encourage dudes to pretend-jerk off under their bed sheets on camera. Or make lewd tongue gestures as if they’re lasciviously lapping up a beef curtain hoagie. Or fondle themselves while declaring “Tittays!”
This is a perfect example of how sometimes life is not made up of absolutes.
For some reason, because YouTuber Jr. DaPhamily is just a teeny young pup, with cheeks like the great plains, he can do whatever the sam hell he pleases on camera and it’s a-okay by me.
I mean, check out this kid, who got as worked up as I did to see Vanessa Hudgens in the buff…again.
Perhaps it’s because we’re all a just a human bag of hormones at that tender age, shuffling off into corners to masturbate while imagining, hopefully, what real kissing is like. And after all, let’s assume he doesn’t necessarily know what he’s doing with his tongue (lewd gestures and “Tittays” both included) from experience–rather from a big brother or a couple of snakey pals. Big whoop.
All I know is that for some reason, this little perv rocks my socks off (*If you’re reading this, kid: I said “my socks,” not “my panties”), and I simply cannot stop laughing throughout each one of his short, emphatic videos.
Important caveat to this, however. Seriously, in a year or so–or the minute those cheeks flatten out by even a millimeter–when DaPhamily is old enough to know better and interfacing with real human girls–this form of behavior will actually be REALLY UNACCEPTABLE. (Ya hear that, kid? Better learn to respeck!)
Sigh. Pretty confusing, I know.
Funnily enough, Rain’s Jackson-like dance moves are losing their hypnotic effect on me.
He has, however, totally warmed through the cold candy shell of my icy heart–especially after this incredible dance-off with my hero, Stephen Colbert.
Now if he’d only quit with “The Rachel” hair cut and put those sexy nerd glasses back on, we could be married.
DIANA: Good morning!
JEN: Dude, it’s almost 1pm.
DIANA: I had a long night.
JEN: I’m not going to ask.
DIANA: Phew! You don’t wanna.
JEN: Diana. It’s after noon. Everybody knew that at the crack of dawn.
DIANA: Yeah… do you really think his brother Raúl will succeed him?
JEN: Looks like it.
DIANA: If so, y’know, people tend to believe that he’ll steer Cuba’s economy in the direction of China or Vietnam. Like, that beautiful co-existence of capitalism and communism. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, corruption!
JEN: Ten bucks on China.
DIANA: I’ll see your ten and raise ya twenty for Vietnam!
JEN: It’s rich, but I’ll take that bet… Go China. (waves a tiny flag)
DIANA: Hooray for Vietnam! (waves a tiny flag)
JEN: This is an odd wager. But I have a case of the Mondays… on Tuesday. My brain feels like it’s filled with cotton.
DIANA: Speaking of brains filled with cotton, did you hear what George Dubya had to say about Cuba today?
JEN: What did he say–”Where’s Cuba?”
DIANA: No! Better! I believe it was something like, “The international community should work with the Cuban people to begin to build institutions that are necessary for democracy…this transition ought to lead to free and fair elections — and I mean free, and I mean fair — not these kind of staged elections that the Castro brothers try to foist off as true democracy.“
JEN: HAHAHAHAHAHA! No he did not!!!
DIANA: Yuk yuk yuk! YES HE DID!
JEN: (wiping tears of laughter) Free and fair!
DIANA: (rolling on the floor, snorting) “Not these kind of staged elections…” BWAhahAhAhahaha!!!!
JEN: I think milk just came out of my nose.
DIANA: Seriously, just thinking about the last two U.S. presidential elections really gives me the chuckles.
JEN: El Oh El, dude.
DIANA: Totally. Boy that’s funny.