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I Have A Dream For Tila Tequila
…that one day, diarrhea of the mouth will cease to ail her, her internal fictions will subside…
…and that she will be immortalized in the flesh:
Tila has never looked cuter!
Only then will she truly be at peace.
[Carlton Jordan: Tila Tequila Australian Interview - "Don't Disrespect The Ambassador!"]
[Tat via Neatorama]
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Crazians, Diarrhea Of the Mouth, Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal Lecter Hello Kitty Tattoo, Hello Kitty, Liars, Muzzles, Tattoos, Tila Tequila, What the fucking fuck us that tattoo?
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Hello Kitty Turns 35
The very first Hello Kitty merch, Coin Purse, 1974
Name: Hello Kitty (née Kitty White)
Born: November 1, 1974
Occupation: Icon
Known for: Presiding over a $5 billion dollar empire, pioneering kawaii style, having no mouth, that fucking red bow, serving as Japan’s tourism ambassador, being everyone’s favorite pussy–from children to club kids to celebrities to haters–and decorating everything from guns to bongs to maxi pads to vibrators.
What explains Hello Kitty’s enduring popularity?
Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Hello Kitty Turns 35
Filed under: Birthdays, Brands, Death to Hello Kitty, Goodbye Kitty, Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty Turns 35, Icons, Japanese Pop Culture, Kawaii, Kitty White, Lady Gaga, Sanrio
Taking The "Man" Out Of "Man-Briefs"
Y’all, listen. I have a very serious question to ask you.
Would you fuck a man who was wearing these drawers?
Just checkin’.
Filed under: Crotch, Fetishes, Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty For Men, Pussy
Anna Paquin, You Are a Better Woman Than I
First, Just Jared posts pictures of you on a bright summer jaunt, wheeling around like a cute little farm girl on this bitchin’ Hello Kitty beach cruiser…
Hello Anna…and then it occurs to me that you’re actually hanging out on bikes with your fiancé Stephen Moyer’s hot ex, Lorien Haynes, accompanied by their daughter. You seem as comfortable with this woman’s past and mile-long legs as you are with Bryan Singer or that quirky little gap between your front teeth! It’s freakin’ amazing!
Lady, this is a display of maturity, coolness and personal security that I could never in my wildest dreams duplicate, ashamed as I am to admit it. Hell fucking no way I could do such a thing. Helllllll. Fuuuucking. Noooooooo. Waaaaaaaayyyy.
[via Just Jared]
Filed under: Anna Paquin, Cool Chicks, Exes Suck, Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty Beach Cruiser, Hello Kitty Bike, Lorien Haynes, Shit I Could Never Do, Signs of Maturity, Stephen Moyer, Summer Days
Swine Flu: A Great Excuse for Cuteness
The World Health Organization’s fearless leader, Margaret Chan (who, incidentally, I’m totally fascinated by) just announced that it has raised the alert level of swine flu to Phase 6–making it the first influenza pandemic of the 21st century.
Now before y’all get your antibacterial panties in a bunch, let’s talk about what this alert means. Phase 6 refers to the geographic spread of the flu, not the severity of the ailment. So although it may be reaching out across territories, you’re overall more likely to get killed by a car accident or the regular flu (Hmm. It’s never comforting for someone to say “you’re more likely to get killed…” is it?).
Chan says, “We have good reason to believe that this pandemic will be of moderate severity, and we know from experience that severity can vary on many factors from one country to another.”
So let’s try to relax. And think about more important things.
Like… how now seems to be a perfect time to break out the HELLO KITTY FACE MASKS!!!
Avoiding swine flu, the cute way![The Washington Post: WHO Raises Swine Flu Threat Level to Highest Level]
Filed under: Alert Levels, Cuteness, Face Masks, Fashion Bungles, Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty Face Masks, Influenza, Margaret Chan, Pandemics, Panic, Sick Days, Swine Flu, W.H.O., World Health Organization
Hello Kitty²
Okay, yes, I know this is adorable. But isn’t something about this kind of wrong and redundant? Like my pup dressing up as dog? Or me dressing up as an Asian girl?
Either way, the inner feline seems none too thrilled about saying “Hello.”
Source
Thanks, jRu!
Filed under: Adorable But Intolerable, Animals In Clothes, Costumes, Hello Kitty, Pussy Overload, Redundancy
Hello Grody
Japan has named Hello Kitty a goodwill tourism ambassador in hopes that “tapping into that fan base will lead to a bigger flow of tourists into Japan.”
Really, Japan? You sure about that?
Filed under: Britney Spears, Celebutards, Goodwill, Grody Visages, Hello Kitty, Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, Mariah Carey, Paris Hilton, Steven Tyler, Tourism, Weird Japanese Behavior
Thinking Pink
Jeeeeezus, Nick Cannon! Have a little pride, will ya?
If you refuse to (you are, after all, wearing an ill-fitting suit with a pink oxford, while shopping at a very icky second-tier Hello Kitty store) … just show a little tech-savvy.
Buy direct, and buy online. You’ll thank me later, Pinky.
Filed under: Buy Direct, Children, Hello Kitty, Ill-Fitting Suits, Mr. Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon, Online Shopping is Cool, Pink Shirts Require More Pride, Pride, Sanrio, Tech-Savvy
The Incredible Shrinking Pussy
Hello Kitty in Christian Dior
Reuters reported today that Hello Kitty is the latest cartoon celeb to seek treatment for an undisclosed eating disorder. The pussy icon had been photographed looking noticeably thinner in recent months and will be appearing next in the May issue of Japanese Vogue, modeling Dior’s fall collection.
Friends say that the Vogue fashion spread put pressure on the “normal-sized” kitty to shed weight, although it was not the sole cause of her eating disorder. One source close to HK said on condition of anonymity:
“She’s anorexic. It’s been obvious to her friends and colleagues for quite some time. I mean, duh? Look at her mouth. Have you ever seen it open? Much less filled with food?”
Hello Kitty has entered a treatment facility in Utah that has also helped actress Mary-Kate Olsen. Hello Kitty’s publicist, Sue Shimasawa, who, like her client, has no mouth, could not be reached for comment.
“I hate all of these skinny bitches!”
Click here for full story.
Source
Source
Thanks, Ken!
Thanks for the pic, Jasmine!
Filed under: Eating Disorders, Hello Kitty, Pussy, Skinny Bitches, Unfunny Stuff, Vogue is French for Ugly
Love Her or Hate Her, It’s Still an Obsession
The “her” in question being Miz Hello Kitty, of course.
Filed under: Fauxbulosity, Hello Kitty, Kimora Lee Simmons, Love Me or Hate Me, Ming and Aoki Are Pretty Damn Cute, Taking a Hating Break
Add It Up
I know–it’s too much math for my brain too.
Filed under: Bastardized Versions, Bizarre Trends, Bratz, Childhood Icons Made to Look Like Hooker Drag Queens, Hello Kitty, Makeup That Scares Me, Math Is Cool
Welcome to the Dollhouse
For the record, I tried. I tried to Season Pass Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, which aired this weekend on the Style Network. Every time I tried to record the show, it would appear to be recording and then swiftly disappear. Just when I thought evil gnomes were fucking with my To Do list, I realized that I don’t get the Style Network. It’s too low-rent, even for my low-rent cable package.
So what’s a girl to do?
Reenact the show with Barbie dolls, of course. Here’s how my version of Life in the Fab Lane went down:
“No, I am the gay icon. Hand over the Yorkie and those ruby slippers. And about the rest of that unfabulous frump-fest you’re wearing? Burn it.”
“Bitch, don’t make me come over there and pull out all your feathers like a Thanksgiving turkey. I am the original diva!”
“Hey! Blondie! Don’t you turn your back on me. Do that again and I will beat your ass. I invented Hello Kitty.”
“Oh no you didn’t. Tyra is going to be so pissed that you’re stealing her look. So. Pissed.”
“It’s 2007 and you are somebody’s secretary? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Get somebody, anybody to answer your phones for YOU. And just so you know, your weave is appalling.”
Filed under: Barbie Dolls Are Creepy, Cher, Friends of Dorothy, Hello Kitty, Kimora Lee Likes to Fight, Kwanzaa, Why Is There a Secretary Barbie in 2007?
