DISGRASIAN™

Asian Foods Hate Jeremy Piven

First, sushi and Chinese herbs tried to poison Jeremy Piven, forcing the Entourage actor to drop out of David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow last December.

Then, the 44 year-old was photographed in Malibu with full-on man boobage this September, which he recently blamed on a 12 cups-a-day soy milk habit.

Oh, Asian Foods. Why do you hate the Pivert so?

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Thanks, Gary!

Filed under: Cheeseballs, Douchebags, Gynecomastia, HBO Entourage, Hormones, Jeremy Piven, Man-Boobs, Mercury Poisoning, Moobs, Soy Milk, Sushi, Sushi Eaters, The Pivert

Lifestyle Asiaphilia Kills

lifestyle Asiaphile
n.
A person who fetishizes Asian dress, food, religion, and/or culture, often to the detriment of his/her own health and that of others.

Yoga and hair weave-enthusiast Jeremy Piven was forced to drop out of a Broadway production of Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow this week after “shocking levels” of mercury–attributed to eating too much sushi and Chinese herbs–were found in his system. His doctor told People magazine that Piven’s decision to leave the play was purely medical and had nothing to do with the Entourage actor’s widely-perceived douchery.

Since Entourage is on hiatus, fans of the Pivert will have to settle for watching reruns of the Discovery Channel’s “Journey of a Lifetime with Jeremy Piven,” a 2006 series documenting Piven’s spiritual passage to India. Namaste!

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Filed under: Asiaphilia, Cultural Appropriasian, David Mamet, Entourage is Overrated, Fetishes, HBO Entourage, Jeremy Piven, Lifestyle Asiaphile, Loving Us Long Time, Namaste, The Pivert, Yoga