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Name: Alvin Wong
Ethnicity: Chinese American
Occupation: Business owner and Happiest Person in America
According to data collected by Gallup over the last three years that was then plugged into a formula called the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, the statistical composite for the happiest person in the U.S. is:
…tall, Asian-American, observant Jew who is at least 65 and married, has children,
gets lei-edlives in Hawaii, runs his own business and has a household income of more than $120,000 a year.
Alvin Wong, a 5’10″, 69 year-old health care management business owner, fits that bill. But is he the only one? I mean, how many tall, Asian American, observant Jews 65-and-over do you know?
(In light of the fact that the median income for Jews and Asian Americans is not only similar but exceeds the national average, the $120 thou a year part is a given. Jews are reputed to have slightly higher divorce rates than non-Jews, while Asian Americans have slightly lower divorce rates, so when combined the marriage thing is a non-factor. And remember, this is all junk science, so no emails about this being junk science and stereotype-dredging. I mean, duh.)
Since Diana and I both suck at math, I had a Physics professor friend of mine–not my Hardass Asian Dad, incidentally–crunch the numbers for me. Here are his findings based on the data I provided for him:
Filed under: Alvin Wong Happiest Man in America, ASIAN JEWS, Gallup Poll, Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, Happiness, Hawaii, Hawaiians, Judasians, Junk Science, Men Are Happier than Women WTF, Statistics, Tall Asian American Jewish Men Are Happiest, What Is Happiness
For some reason, people are getting all worked up over President Obama wearing flip-flops while on vacation in Hawaii. Come on people. What else is he going to wear? Crocs? [Racked]
Toyota is being sued by seven insurance companies to recover damages they paid to people involved in accidents caused by “sudden uncontrolled acceleration.” [Consumerist]
Fashion designer Vera Wang is now blogging! For her first post, the designer wrote about the late great Jackie O and the importance of having a personal uniform. Maybe for her next post she can talk about appropriate leisure footwear for sitting presidents? [Vera Unveiled]
Is Dear Leader turning into Colonel Sanders? A chain of North Korean restaurants opens an outpost in Dubai. [Gawker]
Meet our new boyfriend: Taiwanese model Godfrey Gao has the distinction of being the first Asian male model to appear in ads for Louis Vuitton. [Racked]
Philippine politician Reynaldo Dagsa took this picture of his family on New Year’s Day. Also in the photo? His murderer. [Washington Post]
T.V. Carpio is replacing Natalie Mendoza in Spider Man: Turn Off The Dark. Mendoza dropped out of the troubled (cursed?) production last week after getting a concussion. Who knew musical theater was so dangerous? [Vulture]
The Daily Beast asked a panel of MacArthur Fellows (recipients of “genius grants” from the MacArthur Foundation) to compile a list of its smartest people of 2010. Included on the list are: Kickstarter co-founder Perry Chen, educator Michelle Rhee, Microsoft Kinect inventor Kudo Tsunoda, and Foursquare co-founder Naveen Selvadurai. [The Daily Beast]
Amazian alert! First Lady Michelle Obama has a new Chief of Staff, and it’s Chicagoan Tina Tchen. [Chicago Sun-Times]
Happy Birthday Hayao! Legendary artist, director, and animator Hayao Miyazaki turns 70 years old today. [Wikipedia]
Filed under: a year of no shopping, Barack Obama, Broadway, Chief of Staff, Elizabeth Jayne Liu, Flip-Flops, Godfrey Gao, Hawaii, Hayao Miyazaki, Kudo Tsunoda, Michelle Obama, Michelle Rhee, Natalie Mendoza, Naveen Selvadurai, North Korean food, Okryu-Gwan, Perry Chen, President Obama, Reynaldo Dagsa, Spider Man: Turn Off The Dark, T.V. Carpio, The Daily Beast, Tina Tchen, Toyota, Vera Unveiled, Vera Wang
Hails from: Wai’anae, Hawaii
Occupation: Labor lawyer, Hawaiian State Senator, and Democratic nominee for Hawaii’s 1st congressional district
Known for: Becoming Hawaii’s first woman President of the Senate in 2006, thereby becoming the first Asian American woman to preside over a state legislative chamber in the U.S.; getting endorsed by U.S. Senators Daniel Inouye and Daniel Akaka, former President Bill Clinton, and President Barack Obama; running a close race against Republican incumbent Charles Djou, who won the seat in a May special election, in part because the liberal vote was split among Hanabusa and several other candidates.
Karl Rove has spent more than $16 million on ads trying to defeat Democrats like Hanabusa and install candidates in Congress like her opponent Djou, who favors extending Bush’s tax cuts even to the most wealthy Americans and limiting government spending even at the expense of job creation. The irony, of course, is that Rove is one of the main architects of our current deficit that the GOP has been so keen on blaming on Obama and Democrats. The last thing Hawaii–which had the ninth-highest foreclosure rate in the 3rd quarter–needs is to put someone in office supported by Rove.
The GOP also wants this seat so badly because it’s in Obama’s home state and district, and a win would be “hugely symbolic”–so it’s time to show your mahalo spirit, Hawaii, and not let that happen!
Filed under: American Crossroads, Asian-American Politicians, Bush Tax Cuts, Charles Djou, Colleen Hanabusa, Congressional Races, Deficit, George Bush, GOP, Government Spending, Hawaii, Hawaii 1st Congressional District, Hawaiians, Karl Rove, Karl Rove Acolytes, Pacific Islanders, Tight Congressional Races, Turd Blossom
The Hawaii Five-O reboot debuts in less than three weeks, and the billboards are EVERYWHERRRE. The first one caught my eye, though, mostly because it made no sense whatsoever:
How you gonna stick the hotties in the back and the uglies up front? (Upon further investigation, Alex O’Loughlin, who’s front and center, is pretty cute, but in that ad you can’t tell and, moreover, it looks like he just ate a bad burrito filled with rancid goat meat.)
At least our boyfriend Daniel Dae Kim is holding a nice, thick, um, shotgun.
The second show billboard, however, is like Baby Bear’s bed: just right.
Here’s hoping the show takes place entirely during Hawaii’s rainy season!
I believe this is what it looks like when you say something to Grace Park like, “Are you on the rag or something?” or “I screwed your sister” or “Is your vajayjay sideways?”
Name: Daniel Dae Kim aka DDK aka our Jen’s boyfriend
Occupation: Actor, Restaurant Owner
Hails from: Hawaii via Pennsylvania (via South Korea)
Known for: Making us quiver with love tingles. We like the way he votes, the way he eats, the way he drives (kidding), ooooooohlala obviously the way he looks–and of course, how brilliantly he acts. Praise be the person who finalized DDK’s deal as a principal in CBS’s Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Daniel Dae Kim
Name: Mason Ho
Hails from: North Shore of Hawaii
Occupation: Professional Surfer
Why He’s A Babe: Mad water skills and a great pedigree. Son of surf legend Michael Ho, Mason was clearly destined to chase the endless summer. A North Shore baby, Mason has been surfing since age 6 or 7, and has the achievements and body to prove it.
A young Sarah Palin’s reason for spending only one semester at the Hawaii Pacific University is under debate after The New Yorker’s Sam Tanhauser revealed this gem of info in a comparison of Palin’s autobiography, Going Rogue: An American Life, and Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe’s career examination, Sarah From Alaska:
She is equally circumspect on the issue of ethnicity, pointing out that Todd, whom she met in high school, is “part Yupik Eskimo” and opened her to the “social diversity” of Alaska. (Wasilla is more than eighty per cent white.)Palin, though notoriously ill-travelled outside the United States, did journey far to the first of the four colleges she attended, in Hawaii. She and a friend who went with her lasted only one semester. “Hawaii was a little too perfect,” Palin writes. “Perpetual sunshine isn’t necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.” Perhaps not. But Palin’s father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: “They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.” In any case, Palin reports that she much preferred her last stop, the University of Idaho, “because it was much like Alaska yet still ‘Outside.’ ”
Filed under: Alaska, Autobiographies, Chuck Heath, Conroy and Walshe, Discomfort, Going Rogue, Hawaii, Hawaii Isn't Glamorous? And Idaho Is??, Idiots, Minority "Things", New Yorker, Pacific Islanders, Sarah From Alaska, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Father, Sarah Palin Uncomfortable, Too Many Smart People, Toxic Humans
Oh, thank goodness!!
Our beautiful state of Hawaii did not get nuked over the 4th of July weekend.
Instead, North Korea fired seven missiles (potentially modified longer-range missiles, to boot) into the East Sea, giving the finger to three UN’s security council resolutions and provoking its neighboring country of Japan.
Our cameras caught up with, um, Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on a recent hang.
Let’s see what happens when these two “leaders” address one of the planet’s most pressing questions: Who Is the World’s Biggest Asshole?
We think you’ll be delighted with the results.
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What can we say? The ‘Eternal President’s‘ Dynasty does not play well with others.
There’s the longstanding secrecy about the health of North Korea’s de facto leading dickhead, Kim Jong-Il. The naming of a relatively unknown figure, Kim’s youngest son–Kim Jong-Un, as his successor. A teeny-tiny (What nuclear timetable??) nuclear missile test last month. Recent threats against South Korean ships in the North’s territorial waters. Aggressively dangling the carrot of nuclear war, over and over again, with the United States and the world at large.
Oh, and of course: detaining journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee for crossing the North Korean border, convicting them after a 5-day secret trial of illegally entering North Korean territory, sentencing them to 12 years of hard labor without so much as letting the world see their face, and releasing a report detailing Ling and Lee’s admission of crimes–as well as their intent to produce a smear campaign against North Korea.
And now, there is the emerging threat via Japan that North Korea could potentially be launching a long-range missile at Hawaii on our Independence Day. Don’t be scared; we’re pretty sure we’re prepared to deal.
That doesn’t change the fact that the North Korean government has succeeded in making their country one of the scariest, fuck-all, let-it-all-burn, motherfucking places in the world. They don’t give a shit, and they want this planet to know it.
Is that DISGRASIAN? We sure as fucking hell think so.
We can’t tell you how much it warms our heart to know that nearly two years after we shared our foolproof cure for Moon Face, it’s finally starting to seem like the people are listening.
And by people, we mean the chick in Jen’s Facebook ad, who apparently can’t wait to finish her degree online while hoping to find a mate (the Hawaiian way)–but is still a little self-conscious about her gimongous mega-cheeks.