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In The Event Of Our Murder, Immigrant-Hater Yeh Ling-Ling Will Say ‘I Told You So’ At Our Funerals

September 24th, 2010 | 17 comments | Posted by Jen

We’ve received all kinds of hate mail over the years, but we’ve never received hate mail from a past DISGRASIAN of the Weak.

Until now!

It’s too bad it took this long for a DOTW to push back, because the email below from anti-immigration crusader Yeh Ling-Ling is kind of the kitchen sink of hate mail, a terrific read with something for everyone: Accusations of jealousy!  Insults to our intelligence! History lessons!  Asian, African, and Latin American people stereotyped as violent mass murderers!  A portent of our own murders that sounds creepily like a death threat!

And how could I forget: The bringing of shame to our families!

Funny that she should mention our parents, because while my own read the blog, they rarely comment on posts, since they’re typically too busy with their choir practice and their potluck dinners and their taking of cruises to random places in the world. But it just so happens that my father wrote me right after we made Ms. Yeh–who’s made a career out of smearing immigrants as wasteful, violent job-stealers–DISGRASIAN of the Weak.

Below is a copy of his email (only his name and one line have been blacked out for privacy reasons):

Continue reading In The Event Of Our Murder, Immigrant-Hater Yeh Ling-Ling Will Say ‘I Told You So’ At Our Funerals

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater

February 12th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Jen

Last week, during his kickoff speech at the first National Teabagger Tea Party Convention, former congressman Tom Tancredo called for voters to take civics literacy tests and suggested President Obama only got elected because the U.S. doesn’t require them.

“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote,’ or say it in English, put a committed socialist idealogue in the White House, name is Barack Hussein Obama,” Tancredo said.

Tancredo, a one-note anti-immigration advocate, got a partner-in-hysteria this week when Yeh Ling-Ling, executive director of the creepy-sounding Alliance for a Sustainable USA–a non-profit that champions an outright immigration moratorium and couches its anti-immigration agenda in more palatable terms such as “environmentalism” and being for “social coherence”–came out in support of the idea.

Ms. Yeh, wouldn’t you know, is herself an immigrant several times over. From a 2004 Sierra magazine–as in The Sierra Club–profile:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater

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Famous-for-Humping

February 24th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Clashing vaginas at last night’s CAA party

TILA: Smoochles!

PARIS: [rolling eyes] Uh-huh.

TILA: You look good, girl.

PARIS: Uh-huh.

TILA: How ARE you?

PARIS: Good. Um, interesting dress… thing, or whatever.

TILA: Thank you! I’m trying to do a throwback to like, old, uh, Hollywood glamour, or whatever.

PARIS: Or like, disco?

TILA: Right.

PARIS: And like, mummies. And nurses.

TILA: Hmph. [scans Paris's body] Are you even wearing a dress?

PARIS: My parts are covered and I look hot, so yeah.

TILA: Ah. I feel bad for you. I don’t like, roll that way anymore. I changed my image.

PARIS: To what? A singer for ABBA?

TILA: No, like cleaned up and classy. I had my lawyers start taking all of the pictures of me off of the Internet.

PARIS: [laughs uncontrollably] I don’t think that’s going to work, betch.

TILA: [getting angry] What, bitch?

PARIS: Nothing. Never mind. I’m sure people will totally take all of those pictures of your dirty pussy off of the Web. Are we done here?

TILA: We’re done here, you hater!

PARIS: Good, I need to go get some disinfectant for my face.

TILA: Oh that’s really nice. Really nice. While you’re at it, you should disinfect your crotch.

PARIS: Whatever you say, cooze breath.

TILA: Eat a dick!

PARIS: I will!

[They stomp off in a huff.]

TILA: [to self] Hunh. Who won that one?

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Gwyn or Lose

February 3rd, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Fuck the haters!

MY GOODNESS! “FUCK THE HATERS?” Is Gwyneth Paltrow taking cues from DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamers Kobe and Tila, or just trying desperately to strategically sully her organic-cotton-Coldplay-and-Apple-babies-yoga-granola image?

As she “spilled” to OK! Magazine: “I’m probably less square than people think,” she insists. “I never get drunk to the point of throwing up. But I get very talkative.”

Oh, she gets talkativezzZZZzZzZZZZzzz when zzZshezzZZzz ZzzzZdrinkszzzzZzZzz! I’m sure that would cool our hating jets if we caredzzZZZzzzZzZZz.

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AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! Honorary UW Grads

May 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

450 Japanese-American students who were forced to leave The University of Washington during their course of study in 1942–to relocate to internment camps after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor–were awarded honorary degrees in a ceremony yesterday. Congratulasians to them all!

We feel like the timing for the ceremony couldn’t be better–in a new era of fearmongering, predatory hate focused on law-abiding, peaceful citizens of “dangerous” ancestry seems to be growing like wildfire. Suddenly, the ugly memory of the Japanese internment doesn’t seem like such a distant one.

Perhaps this ceremony was simply a timely reminder that fear has never gotten Americans anywhere good. Ever.

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Thanks, Jeff!

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Like Means "Possessing the Characteristics Of, Resembling Closely, Similar To," Right?

March 26th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The first ever YouTube awards were handed out last night. Sadly, this Tila Tequila rendition of “Like A Virgin” did not win:

Damn, Tila. You were robbed. Those YouTube award hander-outters are stupid haters. Which reminds me of Diana’s fantastic post “Respeck!” and your video diary accompanying it.

In that awesome treatise on Haters, you, Tila, gave me totally RAD advice about how to deal with criticism and whatnot and whoknows and etc, etc. You said:

“The more they hate, the more you want to be like, YO, FUCK YOU. I’m going to do better, I’m going to prove to you…”

Yes? You’re going to prove what?

But then you trail off without finishing that thought. Whatever it was, I am sure it was genius. Perhaps you are not drinking enough Red Bull? Of course, there are people who are verbal and people who are more visual. I would say you’re definitely the latter, being an artist and all. Not that one’s better than the other. It’s like apples and, um, grapefruits.


Finally, I just wanted to give you a shout-out, Asian-Texan to Asian-Texan. Man, those days were rough, weren’t they? Always getting your ass kicked out by the school buses by a girl named Jenna, getting rocks thrown at your head while paddleboating with your family, and being called “alien” and “midget” as you…WAIT A MINUTE.

You were called “alien” and “midget”– AND THAT’S ALL?!?

YOU WHINY. BIG-BREASTISIED. MORON. Yo, Fuck You. You got off easy.

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Respeck!

March 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

MySpace “star” Tila Tequila (aka Tila Nguyen) shares some words of inspiration to her loving fans via a video blog entitled:

TILA TEQUILA-WORDS OF INSPIRATION-KEEPIN IT REAL.

She speaks out on HATERS–most notably, that there are ‘lotta haters out there, and fuck ‘em!

It was, as she describes, hard for a girl like her growing up–she was an ostracized Asian midget in Houston, Texas. The pint-sized (4’11″) pop dwarf was just trying to make it in modeling and music in a town that totally rejected her:

“…I was the first Asian girl, and you know, being in America and everything, you know, the Asian community has not, was not very popular, and I had a lot of obstacles to overcome.”

They said she looked like an Alien. They told her she was meant for porn (I mean…). They said she was too short to model (But she is, right? Not for Gymboree I suppose, but definitely for Prada). They hated on her, dude! But duuuuude, I’m SO NOT HATIN’ RIGHT NOW.

Apparently the only way for a smart, sassified Asian woman with a message to make it out of Houston is to keep it real (dye your hair blonde), bust your ass (and adorn it with many varieties of thong underwear) and work hard (at being photographed from behind). Jen, can you speak to this with any kind of authority?

The words of inspiration go on. Did the hatin’ stop her? Hell naw. She kept on keepin’ on, followin’ her dreams, doin’ her thing.

I actually once had the incredible misfortune of unexpectedly and unwittingly witnessing Ms. Tequila’s “thing” live at the House of Blues–an electric mess of hot pants, shrill “punk” hollers, audience interaction, and flat pseudo-rapping.

I’M NOT HATIN’!

In fact, from this point on, there will be nothing but love. I shall only point out the positive. NO HATIN’ WHATSOEVER. Do you hear that, Tila?

Take her video for Electric Bon Bon, for instance! First off, there are lots of colors. It’s very “Crayola Chic.” Her gyrating is so good that it almost makes me forget to mention how cool it is that the song doesn’t really need a melody. Also, SHE’S IN A FREAKING MUSIC VIDEO! How many people can say that? Livin’ the dream!


Here, Tila is bathing–in a bathing suit! She’s in the tub, but she’s clothed, sorta! It’s not logically baffling, it’s CLEVER, tasteful, and most of all, CLEAN.


This rules. Tila looks totally smart, like all other Nguyens. A+.


Did Tila, perchance, remember to Windex that pole before rubbing her Tila Titticacas all over them? Hey, that’s just me being hygienically inquisitive. More importantly: Really happy smile. Really happy.


Is this strange little garden area in that guy BoBo’s back yard in the valley? That isn’t really positivity or haterating or whatever. Something about it just totally made “818″ pop into my head. I have no idea why. Anyway…


I truly admire Tila’s commitment to promoting safe sex, and she is an inspiration and role model to young blonde girls everywhere.


Somewhere, right now, a patriotic yellow-feverish pedophile just wet himself.


This photo tacitly describes in no uncertain terms Tila’s very essence, as poetically as her words of inspration: Fuck ‘em, Y’all! FO REAL!

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The NBA Bans Kobe Beef

March 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

LA Laker Kobe “Beef Boy” Bryant served a one-game suspension last night for bitch-slapping former Clipper Marko Jaric during a game on Tuesday against the T-Wolves. This was the second suspension for Beef Boy this year. The first came after a January incident where Kobe also bitch-slapped the Spurs’ Manu Ginobili:


Kobe, you do know the provenance of your name, don’t you? You understand that you are named after KOBE BEEF, the most delicious and expensive beef on the planet, beef that hails from Japan, from cows who are massaged and FED BEER?!?

Why, then, do you choose to disgrace this namesake:


OH ALRIGHT. I admit, Kobe has an extremely tenuous connection to what we do here, but I’ve wanted to write this letter for a long time, so please humor me:

Dear Beef Boy,

At one point in your illustrious 10-year career, I might have said “You’re better than this.” But that was then, and this is now. Ever ask yourself why you are the best basketball player in the game AND YET the most reviled?

Allow me to introduce a TIMELINE of your long journey south to Hatersville:

1996 – You take Brandy to prom. BRANDY.
1998 – You become, at 19, the youngest player to start an All-Star game. But you piss off your idol Michael Jordan and veteran Karl Malone in the process with your showboating. Why? Cuz they don’t get the youth of today. Geezers! Haters!
2000 – You release a hip-hop album entitled “K.O.B.E.”
That same year, the Portland Trailblazers have a 4th quarter, Act of God-level meltdown in the waning minutes of game 7 of the Western Conference Finals (from which I’ve never recovered), sending you and Ching-Chong O’Neal into the NBA Finals, where you take the Pacers in 6. How do you say CHAMPIONSHIP in Italian?
2001 – You marry Vanessa Laine, who is barely 18. Her engagement rock weighs 7 carats and is estimated to be worth $100,000.
Your parents don’t show at your wedding.
None of this matters because the Lakers REPEAT and win the NBA Finals again.
2002 – You win MVP at the All-Star game in your hometown of Philadelphia. Every time you touch the ball, everyone boos. WHY? you wonder, brought to tears in the post-game press conference.
Philly, you conclude, is full of cheesesteaks and, of course, Haters. F- Philly! F- cheesesteaks!
And then, in June, the Lakers…THREE-PEAT! It’s all going according to plan.
2003 – Or is it? Not long after the birth of your first child, you go to Colorado to get a little knee surgery and you wind up getting rung up on RAPE charges. Ruh-roh.
You drop $4 mil on a bigger rock for Vanessa. All is clearly forgiven:


2004 – But enough about RAPE, you’re going to ANOTHER NBA FINALS! Against the lowly, no-name, defense-minded Detroit Pistons. Does Pat Riley have a trademark on FOUR-PEAT, you wonder?
Alas, Pistons take you in 5. A guy named CHAUNCEY wins the MVP award. Chauncey. Strangely enough, people don’t hate Chauncey like they do, uh, never mind.
Then you drive Shaq out of town Shaq leaves the Lakers for the Miami Heat. Shaq calls you a “clown.” Oh yeah? Well, you know what you are, Shaq? A Big, Fat, Hateful, Fat (did I say this already?) Hater!
Then you drive Coach Phil Jackson out of town Coach Jackson takes time off to fish in Montana. In his memoir, the Zen Master calls you “uncoachable.”
The upshot? Rape charges dismissed. Glad we got that out of the way! Back to b-ball!
2005 – The Lakers miss the playoffs for the first time in 10 years. “It’s not me, it’s them,” you say over and over again, in the mirror.
Phil Jackson returns to the Lakers. Apparently, $10 million a year makes anyone coachable.
2007 – You win the All-Star MVP again. This time no one boos you. The Neilsen ratings for the game hit an all-time low. No one boos because no one cares.

You resort to bitch-slapping to get attention.


F- THE HATERS! PEACE!

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