You are currently browsing posts tagged with Hate Mail

Sometimes You Wonder If They Mean, Like, Funny "Ha Ha"

July 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Jen and I always read all of most of some of our mail. And we get it–sometimes, folks are not happy with all of the things we say. There are people who feel we’re too rough on Ann Curry (By the way: Seriously? It’s not like she isn‘t a robot). And there are those few remaining Gwen Stefani fans who wish we whouldn’t comment on her man-shoulders. There’s Tila Tequila, who likes our sense of humor (??!), but changes her mind once she sees we don’t believe she actually buys Chanel (or that she should exist).

Maybe y’all get mad sometimes. And you want to tell us. That’s cool, guys. That’s fine. That’s par for the course for two ladies pouring pitchers of Haterade.

But might I make one request: the next time you’re all worked up, huffy and puffy with your mouse clicking away and your little fingers tippity-tappity-ing against your keyboard, fueled by unsettled angst while composing an angry email to us–please remember what your Asian “ha ha” alternative might be if gals like us weren’t busy policing the Web:

“OMG” is precisely what comes to mind

…and try to see that we’re just tryin’ to do our job. And we love you–we’re just trying to keep you safe and free from humiliasian and shame, caused by our fellow citizens.

Unless you’ve got a real hankering for “69 Photos of Asian Girls Posing,” all day, every day–in which case, DISGRASIAN is probably not the site for you. Please. Step. Away.

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Thanks, H.K.!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Epistoleasian David Tuason

August 29th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
David Tuason: America’s Most Wanted Pen Pal


Let’s face it. Nobody writes letters any more. And that’s just sad. We’d like to bring letter-writing back, so we present our DOTW this week in epistolary fashion:

Dear David,

You like writing letters? Us, too! Let’s be friends.

pen pals 4eva,

DISGRASIAN

Dear David,

You also hate Clarence Thomas and Derek Jeter?! So do we!!! Clarence Thomas, because of Anita Hill and his wack-ass politics. Derek Jeter, cuz he’s a Yankee. We have so much in common!

your partners in haterasian,

DISGRASIAN

Dear David,

You held a grudge for 20 years? Dayum, man. That’s more hardcore than Jen’s dad, who will disown you if you have, like, bad taste in movies. We’re not sayin’ that that’s healthy or anything. But it is pretty darn Asian.

good luck with that,

DISGRASIAN

Dear David,

Hold up. You hate black people? And you wrote over 200 hate letters and emails to black men because a black guy “stole” your girlfriend 20 years ago? Duuude. You got problems. We are sooo not down with you. Neither is the U.S. justice system, which just sentenced you to three years in the clink.

enjoy prison,

DISGRASIAN

P.S. Forget about us writing to you in prison or, like, ever again. Because, like Jen’s dad, we hold a pretty mean grudge ourselves. And once, as Heidi Klum would say, you’re out, your ass is out, naw mean?

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Why the Hasian?

April 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

David Tuason, a Filipino man pushing 50 in Cleveland, OH, has plead “not guilty” to charges of writing hateful, racist letters to Black Americans (often after they were spotted with white women) over the past twenty years.

The official charges: two counts of transmitting threatening interstate communications and six counts of mailing threatening communications. Targets included Clarence Thomas and Derek Jeter.

The Associated Press reports:

The FBI says Tuason wrote threatening letters over two decades, often targeting black men who were seen with white women. The letters dated to the late 1980s, seemed to stop in the early 1990s, but started again later that decade.

FBI agents found Tuason a few months ago when he started sending messages via e-mail instead of U.S. mail, authorities said.

My goodness. As if being a narrow-minded, repulsive, racist prick (fine, alleged) isn’t stupid enough–Tuason shows that idiocy knows no bounds by getting busted in the most obvious way possible. Thank god for his lack of intellect. I’m thrilled that his DISGRASIAN brain didn’t think he could possibly be traced through electronic mail. When has that ever happened?

On another note, I’m pysched that this psycho is behind bars for now–but why do I feel ashamed?

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE YEAR! Readers’ Choice

December 31st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy New Year all! Instead of us deciding who deserves the coveted mantle of DISGRASIAN of the Year, we thought we’d open that up to you, dear readers. Who did you think was the biggest disgrace to the race? Who sold out their peeps with the least amount of shame? To whom did you want to send hate mail? Who made you vomit in your mouth every time you logged onto the interweb and came across their grody visage? Below you’ll find a sampling of the contenders, followed by our DISGRASIAN of the Year exit poll. Now get crackin’, we’ve got some shampers to drink!









DISGRASIAN OF THE YEAR!

Who deserves the title of DISGRASIAN OF THE YEAR?

Shinzo Abe

Bastardly.com

Jackie Chan

Naomi Campbell

Bai Ling

Sanjaya Malakar

Michelle Malkin

Masi Oka

Gwen Stefani

Tila Tequila

View Results

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