You are currently browsing posts tagged with Hardass Asian Pitchers


June 17th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to Tim Lincecum, pitcher for the SF Giants, who turned 26 this week!

Qualities to love about Lincecum:

1. Early career excellence

2. Pacific Northwest roots (What’s up, U Dub!)

3. He’s got a mean-ass fastball

4. Laugh lines, goofy grin, lanky stature

5. He’s got Angry Asian Man’s love (he’s a Giant after all, which stacks the deck in his favor). ‘Nuff said.

Time to celebrate with a nice microbrew and some fresh market seafood! Woot!

[AAM: 30 Under 30 - Tim Lincecum]
[Wikipedia: Tim Lincecum]

Thanks, Bernadette!

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October 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Well. It’s official. The Sox pitching rotation for the ALCS, which begins Friday, is set, and Dice-K will be starting Game 1. I’m both incredibly psyched and incredibly about-to-shit-my-pants. Dice-K, despite his awesome winning record this season, walks way too many batters. My baseball-watching comfort zone is insufficient to tolerate Dice-K’s putting-men-on-base-all-the-time steez (which has earned him the nickname “Dice-BB”); that is to say, it is close to nil. We either have to have an insurmountable lead or our pitcher needs to be totally shutting down the opposing team’s batters or else I’m splayed out on the floor, mumbling to myself, Xanax? Scotch? Xanax? Scotch? Xanax and Scotch? Not that Josh Beckett, who starts Game 2, is in better shape to kick things off. Every year I vow to swear off sports entirely because of moments like this. I know, I know…Shut up and pull it together, this is unbecoming. It’s not very Asian of me to say this–an appropriate response would be “Fuckin’ A, I’ve got my shit together” or “It’s in the bag”–but all I can offer at the moment is I. Will. Try.


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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Chien-Ming Wang, Twittererererer

September 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Yankees pitcher Chien-Ming “It’s pronounced ‘Wong,’ dumbass” Wang has a Twitter account. Allegedly. I can’t tell if it’s real or not, because his tweets are so on the nose.

Take a gander:

I mean, “Our team need play better” and “At least I didn’t get a loss. I Try to pitch shut out next time”? That’s right out of the Hardass Asian Pitcher Handbook! And we all know what a hard time our peeps have with pizza, the first time they encounter it. Do you think he eats it with a knife and fork, or does he prefer the foldover method, like my grandma? Anyway, as endearing as his Twitter page is–fake or no–I won’t be following his ass any time soon until he ditches those pinstripes.

[via Fantasy Baseball Dugout]


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