You are currently browsing posts tagged with Hardass Asian Parents’ Wet Dreams

David Choe Inspiring A Generation Of Asian Kids To Ditch Pre-Med For Art

February 3rd, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Hardass Asian Parents, take note.

You can be an artist, and still rule at the maths. That’s true, at least, in the case of Korean American graffiti artist David Choe, who painted the walls of Facebook’s first corporate headquarters back in 2005. Instead of taking cash for his work, Choe chose to be paid in Facebook stock, even though he thought Facebook was “ridiculous and pointless” at the time. (This was his right brain talking. His left brain, meanwhile, was ignoring the right brain as it crunched the numbers.) As Facebook prepares to go public at a valuation between $75 and $100 billion, Choe’s stock will reportedly be worth $200 million.

Now that Choe no longer has to rely on art to pay the bills, he’s free to pursue his real dream…of becoming a doctor!

[NYT: From Founders to Decorators, Facebook Riches]

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AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! Indian Americans In It To Win It

June 21st, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

We called 2009 The Year of Living Desi-rously because, everywhere we turned, South Asians seemed to be dominating the headlines, but 2010 is looking just as bright for the desiaspora, particularly in American politics.

Kamala Harris and Nikki Haley

Our pal Jesse Washington, who covers race and ethnicity for the AP, recently reported that 8 Indian Americans–a record number–are currently running for Congress or statewide office. To put this number in perspective, Washington points out that only 2 Indian Americans have been elected to Congress thus far, the first being Dalip Singh Saund in 1956, and the second being Bobby Jindal, who entered Congress in 2004. 2010′s candidasians, 7 of which are Democratic hopefuls–South Carolina gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley is the exception–are as follows:

Continue reading AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! Indian Americans In It To Win It

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Diane Keng

May 10th, 2010 | 13 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Diane Keng

Age: 18

Hails from: Silicon Valley

Occupation: High school senior, CEO

Known for: Doing business. WSJ just profiled Keng, a high school senior that presented her company, MyWeboo.com (a social networking management site that launched in March), to venture capitalists at last week’s Web 2.0 Expo in San Francisco. Keng shares MyWeboo with her 25-year-old brother, but it’s her third start-up company.  Yeah, that’s right muthafuckaz! THIRD START-UP.

Did we forget to mention that Keng started her first company at age 16, but bailed because it wasn’t making enough money? And that despite her busy business schedule, she still does well in school and plays badminton? By golly, Keng is my a Hardass Asian Parent’s WET DREAM. Perhaps that’s why her dad gave her $100k in tuition money and my dad still regrets paying for my English degree. *sigh*

[MyWeboo.com]
[via 8 Asians]
[WSJ: Report Card? How About That Annual Report]

**This post has been changed to fix some factual errors. Thanks, Diane!

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BABEWATCH: Lucia Micarelli Of HBO’s Treme

February 2nd, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Lucia Micarelli

Hails from: NYC

Ethnicity: Korean and Italian

Occupation: Classically-trained violinist and cast member of HBO’s Treme

The Wire‘s David Simon has a new show debuting in April. It’s set in post-Katrina New Orleans and follows the lives of a group of musicians and other locals. The lovely Lucia Micarelli, who’s toured with Every-Hardass-Asian-Mom’s-Musical-Crush Josh Groban, will play “Annie,” a street musician (see below).

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Kavya Shivashankar

June 1st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Kavya Shivashankar

Age: 13

Hails from: Olathe, Kansas

Occupation: Spelling Bee Champ

Known for: Correctly spelling “Laodicean”–meaning: lukewarm or indifferent, particularly in matters of religion or politics–to clinch the 82nd Scripps National Spelling Bee last week. Being a Hardass Asian Parents’ Ultimate Wet Dream–watch Kavya’s interview with the Chenbot where she describes how she juggled training for the spelling bee with a busy schedule of homework, practicing the violin, and learning Indian dance, and how her future plans include going to “a good medical school.”


Damn, Kavya, do you know how proud you’ve made your parents? Wait, what are we saying? Of course you do. Enjoy it while it lasts, girl. Enjoy it, milk it, work it–just don’t expect something crazy to come from this, like getting a sweet ride for your 16th birthday, okay? Trust us, we speak from experience.

In related “news,” watch the Onion’s hilarious take on spelling bee winners here.

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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Rock of Inaugurasian

January 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Man oh man did watching Yo-Yo Ma at Tuesday’s inauguration–rocking his cello with a look of pure joy on his face and the nimblest of fingers despite freezing temperatures–make me wish I hadn’t quit every musical instrument I had ever picked up.


Violin at the age of 6, because my parents could only afford to buy one for me and my older brother, and it was too long for me and hurt my arm. Piano at 11, because we moved and sold our upright (not that I minded one bit). Oboe at 17, after 6 years, because I was never really that good at it anyway. And guitar a few years back, after only 3 months of lessons, after I sliced off the fleshy tip of my left pinkie chopping onions for a shepherd’s pie.

At least I’ve still got Guitar Hero. I’ll never quit you, fake plastic guitar!

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HONORASIAN ALERT: Myron Rolle

January 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Dear Myron,

I am writing today to begrudgingly extend a formal invitasian to you to join the tribe. Here is a brief overview of your accomplishments that helped sway our decision-making process:

  • First, ESPN rated you the number one high school football prospect in the country. This ranking, of course, didn’t at all factor in your pristine 4.0 GPA.
  • Then, you play Division I football at Florida State, at the safety position, my personal favorite.
  • Next, you graduate in two-and-a-half years, pre-med. Why, Myron, why? For shits and giggles? Because Orgo was just too easy for you? Jesus.
  • Then you decide to get a Master’s of Public Administration while finishing up at FSU.
  • And then you win the Rhodes.
  • BUT...what to do what to do? The NFL wants you. You’re projected to go in the top 49 picks!
  • Oxford? The NFL? Oxford? The NFL? Oh, to have your high-class problems.
  • Finally, you announce this week that the NFL will have to wait a year–I mean, who does that?–so that you can pursue your MA in medical anthropology, whatever the foos that is, and rub elbows with future world leaders and whoever is going to be your generation’s Kris Kristofferson.
  • Not to brag, but you tell the world that once your NFL career is over, you’re going to attend medical school and become a neurosurgeon, with the hopes of “opening up a clinic for the needy in the Bahamas,” where your family is from.
  • Also, you’re a beautiful, beautiful man.

Once this post goes up, thousands of Hardass Asian Parents around the country will be calling up their hospitals, wondering if they weren’t the victims of some cruel baby-switch and if you aren’t, in fact, their long lost son. Prepare yourself for the onslaught, the way a QB might protect his rib cage when he sees you coming on a blitz. (Never mind that you’re black and they’re yellow; Asian parents can be awfully convincing when they think they’re right, which is always.)

And thanks so much for making the rest of us look bad. Even though we think you’re actually a showoff jerk, we would still like to confer Honorasian status on you. Because, as the old saying goes, If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em to your hip, make ‘em play for your team, and don’t ever let go, or something like that.

So, whaddya say?

ever-so-humbly yours (and not liking it one damn bit),
Jen

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Choi Hyun Mi

October 26th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Choi Hyun Mi

Hails from: South Korea (via North Korea)

Occupation: Professional Boxer

Known for: Being South Korea’s “Million Dollar Baby.” At the age of seventeen, she’s already the victor of five amateur national championship titles. But she turned pro last September, and on October 11, won the World Boxing Association women’s featherweight championship, ultimately duking it out with China’s top contender for the big prize.

She fights “for her parents,” supporting them after they made the risky move from North to South Korea so she could train and fight–and of course they’re proud. But we like her because she’s got a crazy cute baby face (she looks exactly like Diana’s sister, Anh, circa 1979), but a fierce and fiery punch. That’s our kinda combo. Punch it out, lady!

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Thanks, jRu!

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BABEWATCH: Anthony Kim

May 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Name: Anthony Kim

Hails from: California

Occupation: Professional golfer

Why He’s a Babe: First off, have you ogled those crazy-ripped arms of his? Can golf really make you look that good? Also, after winning the Wachovia Championship this past weekend, making Kim the youngest player to win a PGA tourney in 6 years, the 22 year-old golfer has been heralded as “the next big swing” and a possible rival to golf’s untouchablasian, Tiger Woods. And even though we know shiznit about golf, we think that’s hot.

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Outerspasian

April 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Yi So-yeon, South Korea’s first astronaut in space, safely returned to Earth Saturday after 10 days in the cosmos. Her re-entry was rough, and though Yi admitted later to being scared, she said that, in front of her space-travel buddies, American astronaut Peggy Whitson and and Russian flight engineer Yuri Malenchenko, she “pretended to be OK.” Classic!

Meanwhile, I’ve figured out a way to get to space and finally make my Hardass Asian Dad proud. No spacesuit required, which is a bummer, because I was really hoping to make my interplanetary debut in this gold number (from Danny Boyle’s Sunshine):


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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Musings from My Hangover

March 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy Birthday to Chu

Happy birthday to two-time Olympian, Julie Chu! Chu, who played for the U.S. Women’s ice hockey team when they won silver in 2002 and bronze in 2006, is also a Harvard grad, i.e. a Hardass Asian Parent’s ultimate wet dream. I would love to tell her to go to H-E-double hockey sticks for making the rest of us look bad, but she’s just too damn cute. Plus, I’m pretty sure that Chu could body-check me into oblivion.

LeBron Seen Voguing

LeBron James rocks the April “Shape Issue” of Vogue with Gisele “Mrs. Brady” Bundchen. King James is only the third man to make the magazine’s cover in its history. Apolo Anton Ohno is also featured–hopefully sans Brazilian bikini wax–in the issue, which pairs athletes with models. I love that underneath the picture of LeBron and Gisele the copy reads, “Secrets of the Best Bodies.” Uh, gee, I don’t know…genetics? Stupid luck? Getting paid shitloads to look that good?


“We are the needle in the can of Schlitz, and we are also the Schlitz”

For a different take on the upcoming baseball season, check out Yard Work. Author “Haruki Murakami” writes a delirious entry about the Cubs and Kosuke Fukudome, their new right fielder from Japan. Or “Fuck You, Do Me,” as our friend Ashley calls him. I put quotes around “Murakami” because there’s also season previews on the site from “John McCain” and The Wire‘s “Scott Templeton,” Bawldamer’s own Jayson Blair. “Templeton” writes about the Orioles, or, as only he could put it, “the league’s orange-feathered stepchildren.”

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Thank you, Jasmine x 2!

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Part Un

February 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

In honor of Jen’s amazian Physics genius father, we’d like to wish Daniel C. Tsui, Chinese-born American physicist and Nobel Laureate, a very happy 69th birthday. We know that Jen’s dad is proud of him! And believe us, that’s the best present he’s gonna get all year…

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