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I know, I know. It’s just a clothing line! Lighten up! And it’s so kawaii as the ads keep telling me, forcing the word on me like a pacifier to the lips of a crying, reluctant babe. (Wouldn’t be surprised if Gwen Stefani had tried to trademark the Japanese word for “cute” some time in the last 5 years or so. She’s already pretty much got “Harajuku”–the name of a Tokyo neighborhood–locked down legally.) And look, the Harajuku Mini for Target children’s clothes collection, which launches Sunday online and in stores, is “kawaii,” in a “What if a little panda cub who was part skater-punk threw up and it looked like lollipops and rainbows?” sorta way.
But, you know, I can forgive, but I can’t forget. Wait, who am I kidding? I can’t forgive either! Because when I see this ad plugging Gwen Stefani’s latest business venture…
…all I see is this:
Filed under: Bizarre Misappropriation of Asian Culture by Talentless White Girls, Children's Clothing, Clothing, Free the Harajuku Girls, Gwen Stefani, Harajuku Haters, Harajuku Lovers, Harajuku Mini for Target, Kawaii, Panda Vomit, Target, This is Bullshit
For those of you as worried as I was about the financial stability and respective career futures of Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Girls during the No Doubt-revival-world-tour/vomitous-Gwen Stefani-solo-career-interim, have no fear!
Jen just informed me that the Girls are booked solid with future events–Gwen would never leave them high and dry!
They’ll be busy peddling Gwen’s Harajuku Lovers perfume. Handing out samples and stuff.
Like, while riding a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.
Happy birthday to our favorite
Harajuku slave owner people-as-accessories designer style biter pop songstress Gwen Stefani, who turns 39 tomorrow. Because Gwen is no longer “just a girl,” it’s probably time for her to say goodbye to the folly of her bygone youth–and by that we mean, STOP KEEPING HUMANS AS PETS AND INVEST IN A SHITLOAD OF EYE CREAM, YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.
Filed under: 40's, Everything About Gwen Stefani Sucks Ass, Eye Cream, Free the Harajuku Girls, Harajuku Lovers, Humans as Pets, People as Accessories, White Unlike Black Do Crack, Wicked Style Biters
Our feelings of disgust toward Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Slaves ebb and flow like the tide at Zuma Beach (Gwen’s second spawn’s namesake). Sometimes–between concert tours when the Harajuku Girls are on furlough–we get snookered into thinking that Gwen’s just a big-boned girl trying to balance fame, motherhood, crap songwriting, and exercise anorexia. Then we see promotional stunts like the one that went down in the windows of Bloomingdale’s on 59th Street this morning…
Hmm…perhaps Miley Cyrus really is a Harajuku Lover. Compare the photo of Miley taken yesterday on the Malibu set of her Hannah Montana movie with the photo of one of the Harajuku Girls winding it up at the 2006 American Music Awards:
Filed under: Disney, Free the Harajuku Girls, Gwen Stefani, Hannah Montana, Harajuku Haters, Harajuku Lovers, Malibu, Miley Cyrus, Racial Drag, Transformasian, Turning Japanese, White Girl's Overbite, Wind It Up