DISGRASIAN™

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Mini For Target Collection

I know, I know. It’s just a clothing line! Lighten up! And it’s so kawaii as the ads keep telling me, forcing the word on me like a pacifier to the lips of a crying, reluctant babe. (Wouldn’t be surprised if Gwen Stefani had tried to trademark the Japanese word for “cute” some time in the last 5 years or so. She’s already pretty much got “Harajuku”–the name of a Tokyo neighborhood–locked down legally.) And look, the Harajuku Mini for Target children’s clothes collection, which launches Sunday online and in stores, is “kawaii,” in a “What if a little panda cub who was part skater-punk threw up and it looked like lollipops and rainbows?” sorta way.

But, you know, I can forgive, but I can’t forget. Wait, who am I kidding? I can’t forgive either! Because when I see this ad plugging Gwen Stefani’s latest business venture…

…all I see is this:

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Filed under: Bizarre Misappropriation of Asian Culture by Talentless White Girls, Children's Clothing, Clothing, Free the Harajuku Girls, Gwen Stefani, Harajuku Haters, Harajuku Lovers, Harajuku Mini for Target, Kawaii, Panda Vomit, Target, This is Bullshit

Miley Cyrajuku in Malibubu

Hmm…perhaps Miley Cyrus really is a Harajuku Lover. Compare the photo of Miley taken yesterday on the Malibu set of her Hannah Montana movie with the photo of one of the Harajuku Girls winding it up at the 2006 American Music Awards:

Spuky!

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Filed under: Disney, Free the Harajuku Girls, Gwen Stefani, Hannah Montana, Harajuku Haters, Harajuku Lovers, Malibu, Miley Cyrus, Racial Drag, Transformasian, Turning Japanese, White Girl's Overbite, Wind It Up

Miley Cyrajuku

Dear Miley,

I know you’re young, so you’re bound to make mistakes. I suppose I should give you props for not being photographed wasted, pregnant or flashing your cooter getting out of a car. I should probably be happy that you haven’t yet made a sex tape nor snorted all of your Disney earnings up your nose. But what the fuzz (I’m trying not to curse because you’re still a child) is up with that Harajuku Lovers sweatshirt? Can I ask, what do you love about Harajuku? Can you even find it on a map of Tokyo? Don’t tell me you’re a fan of Gwen. No, seriously, girl…don’t. I really really want to continue liking you.

UR 2 SWEET 2 BE WEARING THAT,
Jen

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Filed under: Everything About Gwen Stefani Sucks Ass, Fashion Victims, Flashing Cooter, Harajuku Haters, Miley Cyrus