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As some of you know, our site was down yesterday.
And unlike most Monday mornings, where the most disturbing thing greeting us first thing is our weekend hangovers, there was so much bad shit going on in the world.
In other words, so much bad shit to blog about.
There was the ongoing tragedy taking place on Twitter, enacted by randos and well-known players alike–50 Cent, Gilbert Gottfried, the WNBA’s Cappie Poindexter, Family Guy writer Alec Sulkin–that made fun of the ongoing tragedy in Japan.
And, of course, there were also those two viral videos. The one about Asians in the library from UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, and the one about God punishing Japan with the earthquake because it’s a country of atheists (which has since been revealed as a hoax and the work of a troll).
Like we said: SO MUCH BAD SHIT.
So how, in a moment like this, could the Internet betray us and leave us without a forum to air out our grievances? Normally, we’d blame evil gnomes–which a friend suggested look exactly like Arcade Fire–but this was different. This was bigger.
Filed under: Alexandra Wallace, Asians In The Library, Assholes, Cheesedicks, Ching Ching Ling Long Ting Tong, Chinglish, Dickburgers, Dickfaces, Dumbasses, Earthquake, Gnomes, God Is So Good, Hangovers, Idiots, Internet Memes, Japan, Racists, Trolls, Tsunami, Twitter, UCLA, YouTube
I have a holiday hangover. Help.
The election hangover can be so much worse than, say, a Halloween hangover (damn you, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Jägermeister), birthday hangover (So how many Cazadores shots was that?), pizza party hangover (Pabst), DISGRASIAN meeting hangover (Scotch), DISGRASIAN off-the-clock hangover (Armagnac), even the I’m-crashing-this-UCLA-frat-party-even-though-I’m-41-and-not-named-Tyler-because-I’m-drunk-from-small-plastic-cups-of-Chardonnay-at-a-KCRW-event-at-The-Hammer hangover.
And last night was a doozy, comparable to a DISGRASIAN meeting on performance-enhancing drugs (Let’s just say it was a two-bottle night).
Guys, the country is BLEEDING:
I need a drink.
Filed under: 2010 Election, 2010 U.S. Midterm Elections, America Has A Short Memory, Can't wait to see more John "Oh Sure It's Not Prounounced 'Boner'" Boehner, Dems Lose The House, Goodbye Healthcare Reform, Hangovers, How many more times will we begin a sentence with "At least..." today?, I'm sure I'm missing some sort of "model house minority" joke here, Nice work USA, Only booze can help, Red States, Republicans, Republicans Take The House, Running Scared, Shitty nights, Thank god for Harry Reid, The country is bleeding, Ushering in a new period of stagnation, Well played Democrats
… that I’m suffering from up here in our nation’s fine capital is a HOT DOG, encased by FRIED TATERS (via Dlisted):
And yes, this invention came from the brilliant mind of an Asian (thank you, South Korea!). We freaking rule. The only downside: that I can’t get this beautiful meal right this very second.
Guess I’m still nursing the great American hangover, then. Crap. Fuckin’ D.C.!