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Four years on the musical slave plantasian has apparently not been kind to Gwen Stefani’s vocal cords.
The new No Doubt leaked release (a cover of Adam Ant’s “Stand and Deliver”) is shit. Absolute shit. I’ve tried to get through a complete listen–using a survival tactic often purposed for bad sex–by focusing on the image of Tony Kanal’s oh-so-pretty face and trying not to listen too hard to the slinkys that have apparently lodged themselves in Stefani’s larynx, but it’s not working at all. Is this No Doubt comeback reunion really going to work? Does the chick with the microphone even have the ability to make music without Japanese backup anymore?
It’s gonna take awhile to answer those questions. Somebody get me an Excedrin Migraine and a vibrator, stat.
Yummy half-Chinese R&B star and songwriter Ne-Yo was presented with a very intense challenge recently: writing a song for Lindsay Lohan that would actually be worth listening to. He emerged with her latest, a synth masterpiece called “Bossy”:
“I wrote it for her because when she’s on her game, you can see these traits in her. When she’s focused, she exudes the aura of a boss with ease,” Ne-Yo explains. “When [producer] Stargate and I were approached with the task, we viewed it as a challenge. ‘Can we make a song for Lindsay Lohan that people were gonna take seriously?’ I think we did it.“
Oh, Ne-Yo. Ne-Yo! Ne-Yo.
I think we’ve been taking Lohan far more seriously than you think, for way longer than you’ve given us credit for. Even in her musical ventures!
Like, I cried when I first watched this performance of her hit song, “Rumors.”
Cried. Real tears. Watershed moment: when she sings her own echo echo echo. If that isn’t serious, I don’t know what is.
Occupation: Professional Tennis Player
Known for: At 18, surprising number-one seed James Blake to win February’s Delray Beach International, thus becoming the first Japanese man in 16 years to win an ATP event. And in yesterday’s XL Bermuda final, he worked Serbian champ Viktor Troicki in a big way to take home the big prize.
Dude, at 18, I was forgetting to pay my parking tickets and devoting 76% of my time to surveying the orientation of rock posters on my wall. Nishikori totally kicks me arse!