You are currently browsing posts tagged with Hair that Smells Like Scalp

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Arianna Huffington

July 15th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday today to honorasian Arianna Huffington, our boss at HuffPo and one of the most influential women in media!

A few things we love about Arianna:

* She smells so good. She has the aroma of cleanliness and cashmere and a womanly, floral perfume not muddled by overbearing yucky stuff, like musk.

* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!

* We love lady writers. And bloggers.

* She has turned self-reinvention into an art form.

* She works hard for the money.

* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!

* She throws a great dinner party.

* OH, and that yummy accent. We love it, we love it!

* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!

[Huffington Post]

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Paul Dateh

June 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


I took piano lessons for ten years, and violin for eight. My most memorable instrument teacher was a perpetually drunk Singaporean woman whose hair smelled like a fascinating combination of musk and scalp. She would shout, “Practice more! Practice MORE!” while banging her ring-adorned right hand on the side of my family’s beautiful grand piano, accentuating my hiccuping sonatas with her shrill voice. She spent downtime between my clunky scales by walking around my living room and peering too long at our framed family photos.

Every time I would open my front door and see her not-quite-symmetrical bob haircut and crazy eyes, I would think to myself, There is no way these lessons are worth it. I am never going to do anything with these stupid mustic skills. Maybe, just maybe, if I can distract this crazy lady for a second and make a quick dash, I can go join the circus or hitchhike to space camp or something. Do something meaningful with my life. Why doesn’t she teach me to play like Billy Joel? Why can’t I play the fiddle in a river band? My life sucks!

I never actually thought that any poor sap bangin’ on the keys or sawin’ on the strings out of their parents’ behest (and checkbook) could possibly turn those intense, smelly Suzuki method hours into something cool or meaningful. Hell, if I’d known that someone like SoCal’s classically-trained Paul Dateh could, two decades later, be rocking his violin like a jazzy axe, mixing up A Tribe Called Quest beats and Gnarls Barkley rhythms, and singing oh-so-sweetly… I would have practiced a whole lot more.

See what I mean:

Buy Dateh’s debut album on iTunes here. Get a sample on his MySpace here.

[iTunes: Paul Dateh - s/t]
[Paul Dateh - Official Site]

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Thanks, Emily!

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Ouch!

August 28th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I threw out my back earlier this year, and it was awful. My brain was oatmeal from the painkillers and the muscle relaxers, and I could barely walk from my bed to the bathroom. My hair smelled like scalp for days, and all I wanted to eat was candy. The whole experience was filthy, start to finish.

So when I heard that Jackie Chan suffered a back injury last week while filming scenes for Forbidden Kingdom, I felt really sorry for the guy. Some doctors believe that back pain is psychosomatic, but I don’t agree. I’m sure that Jackie has gone through a lot, and I wish him only the best.

Bruce Lee beating the shit out of Jackoff in Enter the Dragon

…okay, all of that–except for my “backstory”–was a lie. Was it convincing? Did you believe me for a second?

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Kukuchiwa Tokyo!

April 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Kuku Dunst is in Tokyo promoting Spider-Man 3 with her costars. She’s pictured here at the premiere. Why the long face?

“Hey. I’m hungover and I didn’t have time to wash my hair. Tokyo is exactly like my friend Sofia’s movie, the movie I should have been in instead of that fatty. Everything is so, like, lost in translation. Why won’t either of these guys fuck me? I have great tits! So what if they hang down to my waist and I can tuck them into my shorts? Did I mention that I’m taking an art class? Do you think people will take me seriously even though I’ve blown more guys-in-a-band than Winona Ryder? Yeah? Really? Okay. I’m depressed, take the picture.”

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