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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Hailey Glassman
Hailey Glassman, Jon Gosselin’s jilted ex, tweeted a photo yesterday–obviously phony–of the “stubby” penis she shared with Kate Gosselin and a few other mediocre chicks. (Warning: DO NOT click the picture link if you throw up easily. Or if you’re at work.)
Let me first just say that as an admirer of fine penises, I am deeply offended by this photo.
And then I will add to that statement that CALLING YOUR FORMER RIDE “NASTY” SIMPLY SHOWS THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO SETTLE AND SMOOSH YOUR MOIST ORIFICES ON A SAD, HIDEOUS DICK. Such a statement shames you far more than the owner of said penis–he didn’t have a choice.
Augh, what a wicked game Glassman is playing. It’s a contest in which nobody wins. Especially not me. I feel like I need to take a shower and watch some good porn to wash this sad image away. Or borrow my friend’s copy of Guys Gone Wild. Or my sister’s old Playgirls.
Jeez, did I ever really think that Jon Gosselin was the biggest fame whore of this bunch?
[via ONTD]
[THR: Hailey Glassman Posts Alleged Jon Gosselin Penis Photo on Twitter]
Filed under: 15 Minutes of Fame, Airing Dirty Laundry, DISGWITTER, Famewhore Twitterers, Hailey Glassman, Hideous Dicks, Horrific Images, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin's "Stubby" Penis, Kate Gosselin, Magic Weiner, Mediocre Chicks, Shameful Behavior, Shameful Sex Acts, Small Penis Jokes, Small Penises, Trash Talking, Tweets, Twitter
Hailey Glassman Talks Jon Gosselin’s Magic Weiner
Jon Gosselin’s ex, Hailey Glassman, is on the cover of Steppin’ Out–”NY & NJ’s #1 Entertainment Magazine,” apparently–and blabbing about how the father of eight’s magic weiner is “tiny, tiny, tiny.”
“Judge This Haters”? WHERE. TO. BEGIN.
And you know what’s not tiny? The yeast infection I’m getting looking at those cheap hooker panties.
If you’ll excuse me…
[via HuffPo]
[Steppin' Out magazine]
Filed under: Cocks, Dicks, Hailey Glassman, Hooker Bitches, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin Dick, Kiss-And-Tell, Magic Weiners, Mixed People, That's What You Get For Going Out With Hookers, Tiny Penises, Yuck
Caption This: Jon Gosselin’s Halloween Costume
[via BuzzFeed]
Filed under: Douchebags, Fame Whores, Hailey Glassman, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin Halloween Costume, Kate Gosselin, Octomom, Reality TV, Tabloids, The Gosselins
Jon Gosselin, Mr. Change
Jon Gosselin, who once “took a lot of abuse” from his estranged wife, Kate, is making some real changes in his life, taking the path to a stronger place.
Jon and Hailey Plus Christian and Ed
For instance, as he told ParentDish, he is like, totally “together” with girlfriend Hailey Glassman. And he spends all his time with her ‘cuz she’s like, his best friend! And she’s sooooo different from Kate. She’s Jewish too, so he’s gotten really into Judaism–he like, loves challah bread–and is even looking into converting! Did we mention that Hailey is sooo different from Kate? Kate was mean! So was Christian Audigier! Anyway, he loves Hailey like, so much!
UGH.
Jon Gosselin isn’t an asshole, he’s just a pussy. Somebody call me when this dude gets a scrotum and we’ll talk about whether or not he’s “changed.”
[ParentDish: Jon Gosselin Loves His Kids, His Girlfriend And The Jews]
Filed under: Hailey Glassman, Identity, Jewsians, Jon Gosselin, Pathetic, Pussies, Scrota, Weak Men
Does Jon Gosselin Have a Magic Weiner?
Star Magazine reporter Kate Major (pictured above) apparently resigned from her post today, noting a conflict of interest in working for the rag because she’s dating Jon Gosselin.
Meanwhile, Gosselin’s girlfriend from, uh, two weeks ago, Hailey Glassman, is still holed up in his NYC apartment–shocked and saddened to hear she’s been replaced.
MEANWHILE, Gosselin’s wife Kate is with the eight sperm sprouts (or “children,” if you prefer), who probably now spend most of their time wondering why Daddy smells like smoke, lives in the City, wears an earring and doesn’t love them anymore.
Excuse me, but what the hell does this guy have that’s so alluring? Baggage, a reality career, a wicked beer gut, mid-life issues, a receding hair line, marshmallow face, and a closet full of Ed Hardy? Oh… YAY. What a catch.
All I’m saying is, Jon Gosselin better have a 13-inch, rotund penis–or all of these chicks are absolutely certifiable.
[Just Jared: Kate Major Resigns from Star Magazine]
Filed under: All the Wrong Career Moves, Hailey Glassman, I Don't Get It, Jon Gosselin, K-Fed's Antecessor, Kate Gosselin, Kate Major, Large Penises, Reality TV, Resignations, Star Magazine
Everybody H8s Jon Not Kate
Ruh-roh. Jon Gosselin has a PRoblem (that’s a PR-problem).
A month ago, when Kate filed divorce papers, Popeater conducted a poll, and the majority of people sided with Jon. But recently, they conducted the same poll, and the results flip-flopped.
The lesson here?
Moving far away from your kids, trotting out your new 22 year-old girlfriend in the south of France, partying aboard a yacht, and looking like a douchetard one month after your divorce does not, as it turns out, make people love you.
Who knew???
[Popeater: Public Sympathy Shifts from Jon to Kate]
Filed under: Christian Audigier, Divorce, Douchetards, Douchewear, Hailey Glassman, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, PR Nightmares, Public Perception, Reality TV
Jon Gosselin’s Douchewear Endorsement Deal
Three weeks after his wife filed for divorce, Jon Gosselin took a weekend trip to St. Tropez with his 22 year-old girlfriend Hailey Glassman (not this one, this one), daughter of the surgeon who performed Kate’s tummy tuck, where they spent an afternoon on “designer” Christian Audigier’s yacht.
But the weekend wasn’t all about fun in the sun for DISGRASIAN’s favorite Puff Daddy, who’s reportedly working out some kind of endorsement deal with Audigier, the man behind Von Dutch, Ed Hardy, his own eponymous line, and those giant billboards around L.A. mourning the loss of Michael Jackson.
As next career moves go, Jon Gosselin shilling for an overpriced–the tee he was snapped wearing in St. Tropez, above, retails for $187–eye-assaulting douchewear emporium sounds just about right.
Filed under: Christian Audigier, Deanna Hummel, Douchewear, Ed Hardy, Endorsements, Hailey Glassman, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin Affair, Kate Gosselin, Reality TV
