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Happy birthday to His Awesomeness, Slash, an esteemed honorasian who turns 45 tomorrow. Like many mythical creatures, Slash is practically ageless, timeless, and as mysteriously cool as when he first started rocking faces off at Madame Wong’s in ’84.
He will always be an inspirasian to us! We hope those hot fingers get a rest from axe-rocking, just for one day, so that Slash can celebrate the big 4-5 properly–with both fists wrapped around vodka bottles.
Filed under: Agelessness, Awesomeness, Birthdays, Guitar Gods, Guns N' Roses, Honorasians, Inspirasian, Madame Wong's, Middle Age, Mythical Creatures, People Whose Faces Can't Be Seen And Therefore Reveal Nothing, Saul Hudson, Slash, Velvet Revolver
Sometimes in life, the only words that are adequate in a situation are not actually words–they’re letters of an acronym.
And after hours of scratching my head, mouth agape, viewing sick video of teeny-tiny Yuto Miyazawa (a kid that picked up a guitar when he was 3, and has clearly only been playing rad axe-grinders for the six years since), I’ve realized that this is one of those sometimes.
Honestly, the only adequate letters for this moment are:
Filed under: Amazian Jr., Axe Grinders, Being at a Loss for Words, Coolest Kid EVER, Dudes Who Shred, Ellen Degeneres, Guitar Gods, Kids that Rock, Mind-Boggling Talent, Phenoms, Tiny People, WTF?, Yuto Miyazawa
Geki the Great is the guitarist for UK actress-turned-dance-punk artist Ebony Bones, whose debut album drops sometime this spring. Our pal Adriel caught Ebony & Co. at SXSW and dubbed the headdress-wearing Japanese guitarist the “Coolest Asian Ever,” although we may have to jack that title up to “Coolest Human Ever” and call it a day.
The whole band oozes cool in a posterior way that’s become the calling card of other British artists like M.I.A. and The Go! Team–they’re at once post-punk, post-funk, post-modern, and even a little post-gender and post-racial. And you can dance to it!
So hitch your horse to Ebony Bones’s “post” here.
It was announced this week that Eddie Van Halen is engaged to his publicist, Janie Liszewski. Eddie–whose mother was Dutch-Indonesian–proposed in August. Congratulasians, Eddie!
Last December, I saw Van Halen play the Staples Center. It was during the writers’ strike and most of the people I went to the show with were writers worried about paying their mortgages, the decline of television’s popularity in general, and when they would ever work again. Seeing Van Halen was a high point in an otherwise depressed, uncertain time.
We were so close to the stage that you could sort of make out David Lee Roth’s bulge in his black leather pants. Eddie was shirtless, and he was one of the most ripped muthafuckas I’d ever seen. David was wearing an open, glittery matador jacket, and he was ripped, too, but I was pretty sure that David got that way from lipo and Eddie from doing a lot of freaky yoga or something. Eddie had some of the fastest fingers I’ve ever seen. Him shredding didn’t seem like work at all. His teenage son Wolfgang played bass, and I felt bad for him, not because he was awkward, pimply and pudgy–touring with Van Halen will get him laid despite all of that–but because he has so much to live up to, having a guitar god for a father.
Three months later, the band had to cancel a bunch of dates because Eddie came down with an undisclosed illness. His ex, Valerie Bertinelli, who was hocking a memoir about weight loss at the time, denied that Eddie had gone back to rehab. Whatever it was, I hope this engagement is a sign of better times, and by that I mean, a sign of many more sweet, shirtless shows to come.