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The Chinese Are Coming! The Chinese Are Coming! (Only It’s Not How You Think)

Holy shit, the Chinese are coming. But it’s not how you think. They’re not coming to take over a depressed, podunk American town and fight an insurgency of armed high school jocks. They’re not coming to buy up all of our real estate, convert the dollar to renminbi, or force us all to speak Mandarin (I mean, hello? This is America, where most people only speak American, so good luck with that). They are coming to America in record numbers as tourists, but that’s only a temporary phenomenon and, quite frankly, we could use the dough.

According to Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, the Chinese are coming…to take over the Internet. In a talk given at last week’s Gartner Symposium, Schmidt predicted that the internet in 5 years would be dominated by Chinese-language content.

For those who are “extremely terrified of Chinese people” and can only speak American, take heart. The scarier news that Schmidt delivered?

Today’s teenagers are the model for how the web will work in five years. You know, the same teenagers who we always hear are getting dumber. Schmidt’s exact words:

Talk to a teenager about the way they consume information, and remember that five or ten years from now, that’s your employee. It’s a little frightening, by the way.

A little frightening?!

Building my bunker now…

[ReadWriteWeb: Google's Eric Schmidt on What the Web Will Look Like in 5 Years]

Filed under: Google, Google CEO Eric Schmidt, I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People, Predictions, Red Dawn, Teenagers, Teenagers Getting Dumber, The Chinese Are Coming, The Internet in Five Years, We're Taking Over Everything, Yellow Peril