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Normally, like most painfully-competitive-to-the-point-of-self-destruction Hardass Asians, we hate it when our friends become successful.
But by golly, we’ve got a soft spot for the fabulous Ng Family (is it because both husband and wife are the hotness?) and a longstanding admirasian for their work in academia, literature and community.
We are happy today to offer congratulasians to Konrad Ng, well-known as an Asian American scholar and professor, who has just been named as Acting Director of the Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Program. It’s an incredible and important honor–and one that we can’t tell our parents about because they’ll wonder why they paid for our education out of pocket just so we could study literature and writing, ultimately not even obtaining any PhDs to afford them the pleasure of telling their friends to refer to us as “Dr. Wang” or “Dr. Nguyen,” and certainly not being tapped by the effing SMITHSONIAN for a highly coveted position benefiting our almond-eyed peeps on a national level. SIGH.
Yeah, Konrad, we’re totally happy for you! Great freaking job!
Filed under: Asian-American Scholars, Awesome Jobs, Coveted Positions, Dr. Konrad Ng, Good Looks, Higher Learning, Konrad Ng, Professors, Really Smart People, Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Program, The Smithsonian, University of Hawaii At Manoa Center For Chinese Studies
Dear Jaeson Ma, spiritual hip hop music maker and dreamer of dreams:
We just discovered you in a PSA encouraging people to vote for CPAF in the Chase Community Giving Contest.
So um… on another note, God has been very kind to you–take a look in the mirror.
You are hot.
Happy belated birthday to Reiko Aylesworth, who turned 36 this week! We think you looked best sharing the screen with our friend Carlos on 24–but the fact is, you look pretty purty all the time. Have a great year!
Oh Gwen, see what happens when you give your Harajuku slaves the night off?
You actually look kind of… fierce. And hot, for a gummy blonde with glazed-over eyes. And you force me to bite the bullet and admit those facts, which is difficult for me (because I loathe you), but something I’m willing to do IF YOU WILL JUST EMANCIPATE MY YELLOW FRIENDS AND END YOUR TYRANNY OF EXPLOITASIAN. WHY DO YOU PERPETUATE THE CONFLICT?? LET’S END THIS WAR!!!!!
Filed under: Exploitasian, Giving Slaves the Night Off, Good Looks, Gums, Gwen Stefani, Looking Fierce, Saying Nice Things About People You Hate, This is All It Would Take For Us To Lay Off You For Awhile
HONORASIAN OF THE WEEK aka New Category Featuring Hot Dudes Diana Thinks Should be Amazians of The Week
Known for: Playing the cutest damn alien on our favorite sitcom ever–3rd Rock From the Sun, tickling our brains with the tongue twisters of our favorite indie of ’05–Brick, reprznt’n for Columbia alumni, and being a former child star without a punchline or a rock bottom.
The NY Times recently featured our amazing pal in a T Magazine piece. Read it and see all of the smokin’ hot pictures of Joe (like the one featured above) here.
The twist: Though a reliable source has repeatedly assured us that Joe has “two very adorable Jewish parents,” Diana simply can’t wrap her head around how somebody can be so darling and so prodigious without being at least a teensy bit Asian (he really isn’t, not even a teensy bit). As a result, she’s invented the new category–kinda sorta just for him. Enjoy.