You are currently browsing posts tagged with Gold Medals Rule

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mo Tae-Bum

February 18th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When I turned 21, I received a wealth of gifts. They included:


  • sixer of Smirnoff ice
  • knockoff version of Barbie’s little sister, Skipper
  • 3 “Your first time coming here legally?? It’s on the muzzafuzzin’ house!!!” shots seeminly comprised of sugar and scope
  • my first DVD porn
  • 13 unidentified flying cocktails
  • framed photo of me with a bunch of swell college chicks in dresses holding up cocktails
  • hickey
  • hangover

SIMILARLY, on Korean Olympic speed skater’s Mo Tae-Bum’s 21st birthday (February 15), he received…

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The Wang Way To Win

October 26th, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Do you remember 21-year-old Wang Jing, a Chinese sprinter from last summer’s Beijing Olympics?

So Wang

So Wang

If not, it’s because she didn’t qualify for a second round heat in either of her races during those games, the 100m and 4x100m. You probably missed her.

Last week, however she celebrated gold in the 100m at the 11th Chinese National Games. And silver in the 200m! Dayum!

Today, it was annouced that Wang failed a drug test and was stripped of her gold medal. Worse, the Chinese Athletics Administration Center (CAAC)–China’s governing body for track and field–has BANNED WANG AND HER COACH FOR LIFE from competition.

What a shitty Monday, huh? First, FAILING. Then, banned for LIFE. Wang is never getting hugged by her parents again.

[Reuters: China's Womens 100 Metres Champion Banned For Life]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!

September 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Happy 18th birthday to Mao Asada, who is currently the top-ranked figure skater in the world! We truly envy all of the achievements you’ve tucked under your belt before today–no, wait, we envy your skinny legs and ability to live out our mothers’ gold-medal ice dreams. Augh!

Come visit us in America! You’re old enough to buy cigarettes and watch dirty movies here; what better way to celebrate?

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The Iron Hammer Goes Soft (UPDATE)

August 21st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

U.S. women’s volleyball coach Jenny Lang Ping scares the key-rap out of me. Probably because she has my mother’s hair (Do all of our mothers go to the same hairdresser to get that unnatural red color and that moonface-inducing bob?) and my father’s pursed-lip, nonplussed expression. Her face reminds me of how my parents looked when they read my diary in 7th grade (in which I called my mom every name in the book, mostly to practice my curse words) or when I choked on the PSATs sophomore year; it’s a face shimmering with disappointment and incapable of understanding insubordination or failure. Oh, and Coach Lang’s nickname when she was a player and won gold for China was “The Iron Hammer,” not exactly the name of a softie.

My guess is that her being hard-to-please has something to do with how she got her team, ranked 4th in the world and unlikely medal contenders, to overachieve and defeat China, Italy and Cuba in order to advance to the Olympic finals against Brazil. After the U.S. women beat Cuba today in the semis, The Iron Hammer finally cracked a smile in what the AP called “a rare show of emotion.”


I’ll say! Watching Coach Lang smile, laugh, and bear-hug her players actually freaked me the fuck out. It was so…positive and…(gulp) effusive. It just doesn’t feel right if she’s not giving her players (and us viewers, really) that scary death stare. It doesn’t feel Asian. It doesn’t feel, frankly, like home.

So, Coach Lang, please stop smiling. You’re making me very very uncomfortable. And if you, The Iron Hammer, go soft now, how in the world will you get those ladies to bash in Brazil? No one’s ever been loved, nurtured, and positively reinforced to a gold medal, have they??

UPDATE: Brazil prevails, the U.S. wins silver. SEE WHAT I MEAN?!

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Team Dar + 4Eva

August 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Joey Cheek, Olympic speed skating gold medalist and co-founder of athletic activist group Team Darfur, had his visa revoked by the Chinese government yesterday, a day before he was to depart for Beijing to support this year’s competitive athletes in the summer Games. This denial makes a very loud statement about exactly what kind of private citizens (i.e. those that don’t chair outspoken organizations that condemn activities of their government) China wants for the warm and fuzzy spectacle of the 2008 Games.

And they are within their rights to do so. As the NYT reported today, the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs issued a statement defending the country’s right to determine a person’s entry, explaining, “The visa issue is a country’s sovereign affairs… The purpose is to provide a proper, secure environment for people watching and attending the Games.”

Now with no international podium to stand on (and no highly televised fetes to attend), it makes sense that Cheek should worry about how now to shine a spotlight on Team Darfur’s mission.

From AP:

[Cheek] had planned to attend a United Nations Olympic celebration and some charity events but wasn’t planning any big Team Darfur demonstrations. Now he’s scrambling to figure out how to draw attention to his cause back home in Washington.

We wondered that as well. However, considering the steadily piling stream of news articles hitting the hot list less than 24 hours after Cheek’s visa was pulled:

… attention might be the last thing he has to worry about. This may be the best “fuck you” that China could have possibly given to Team Darfur.org. RAD!

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Betraysian of the Stars

March 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

If you’ve gotten a chance to tune in to the new season of Dancing With the Stars, you’ll see that competitor Kristi Yamaguchi is already off to an excellent start, knocking out a near-perfect foxtrot with partner Mark Ballas in the very first episode.

Last night, in Hardass-Asian-Parented-purist fashion, Kristi went for Week 2 gold–this time with a “Latin-flavored” dance. You’ve gotta give the girl props for shirking her aversion to saucy hip shakes for the opportunity to excel. And she did it! She shook the shit out of her shit, and that was pretty amazian of her.

…but did she have to do it to a song penned by the (non-Latin, non-Asian) style-biter and exploitasian mistress of the century, Gwen Stefani?

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Thanks, jRu!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Mao Asada

March 24th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Mao Asada

Occupation: Professional figure skater, hailing from Japan

Known for: her current reign as the Japanese Champion, World Champion, and Four Continents champion in ladies singles figure skating. These honors seem well deserved in light of Asada’s gold-medal victory at the 2008 World Championship in Gothenburg last Wednesday–she had wind beneath her wings, dude.

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