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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The People In The Panda Suits

December 6th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Pandas are sickeningly cute. But they’re also dumb as fuck. They survive almost entirely on bamboo, which poses all kinds of problems; they frequently kill their young by accident or neglect; and they seem to have something against sex and reproducing more sickeningly-cute-but-dumb-as-fuck panda spawn.

Researchers at the famed Hetaoping Research and Conservation Centre in Sichuan Province, China, have been working their asses off to keep these adorable dummies from disappearing off the face of the planet, and one of their innovations is dressing themselves up in panda suits when it comes time to introduce the real pandas into the wild. To, presumably, get those pandas raised in captivity used to being around other pandas, or something like that?

No idea if it’ll work–the last panda the Hetaoping researchers introduced into the wild, Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The People In The Panda Suits

Filed under: Adorable, Awwwwwww, baby pandas, Bear Hugs, China, Dumb Animals, Endangered Species, FUZZY TUMMY FEELINGS, Giant Pandas, Hetaoping Research and Conservation Centre, Into the Wild, Panda Hugs, Panda People, Panda Suits, Pandas, Pandas Are Dumb As Fuck But We Love Them Anyway, Pandas Are Sickeningly Cute, People in Panda Suits

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! G. Gordon Liddy Thinks Bill Clinton Brought Back a Dead Giant Panda and a Dick from North Korea

August 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Poor Gordon Liddy. The 78 year-old Watergate mastermind appears to be losing his mind. On Wednesday, while most of the country was busy heralding the safe return of American journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling from North Korea–FOX News and other right-wing fearmongers being notable exceptions–Liddy announced on his radio show that “Ling-Ling and Wee-Wee…have been brought back by Bill Clinton to the United States.”

Listen:

Now, Ling-Ling was one of the two giant pandas (pictured with her mate Hsing-Hsing) given to the U.S. by China following President Nixon’s historic visit there in 1972. You know, the same president that Liddy served under and served time for. It’s only natural to assume, then, that Liddy is suffering from moderate dementia–symptoms of which include “forgetting names and faces” and “remembering events from the past as though they are the present”–and that’s why he’s confusing Laura Ling with Ling-Ling, a giant panda who died in 1992.

And we all know what a Wee-Wee is. (Lady Gaga even has one, evidently!) But why Liddy would conflate Euna Lee with a dick is beyond us. Perhaps he’s been playing with his own wee-wee a bit too much lately?

Which would mean Liddy’s brain is not only degenerating, it’s moving rapidly from moderate to severe dementia, symptoms of which include…”uncontrollable movements.“

Like we said, poor Gordon Liddy.

[Media Matters for America: Liddy tells joke about "Ling Ling and Wee Wee" "being locked up for nine hours in an airplane with Bill Clinton"]
[via Salon]

Filed under: Bill Clinton, Conservatards, Dementia, Dicks, Euna Lee, Euna Lee Laura Ling Pardoned, FOX News is a Joke, G. Gordon Liddy, Giant Pandas, Laura Ling, Ling-Ling the Giant Panda, Watergate