You are currently browsing posts tagged with Gay Victories

The North Korean Consituency: More Support Than an Underwire Bra

April 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il has been re-elected to the country’s parliament after an, um, arduous election season.

A “popular” leader, Jong-Il beamed in response to the deep–ahem–support, hauling in a laudable 100% of votes from his constituency.

Hrmm. What can we say? A, uh, fair election is a fair election, and, ehm, the people have spoken, we guess. So (cough, cough) congratulations to the… victor. For his… victory. In this competitive… election.

Moving on! Now that this mighty contest is behind him, maybe that bastard can direct his attention towards giving our girls Laura and Euna back.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Odds and Ends

July 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

WHAT THEY MEAN BY “UGLY ODDS”

Calling all gambling addicts! Tired of throwing your money away on horses, baseball, and boxing? Why not bet on a contest that you can also jerk it to?

Betting odds for the 2008 Miss Universe pageant were recently massaged-and-released, and Miss Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza (pictured left), is the front-runner (+625 odds). The only lady of Asian Persuasian to make it into the top ten is Miss India, Simran Kaur Mundi (+1100).

Three other Asian contestants–Malaysia (+7000), Sri Lanka (+8000), and Japan (+8000)–are languishing in the bottom 20:


So, if you’re feeling lucky, put your money where your mouth wants to be. I mean, “is.”

WHAT THEY MEAN BY “GAY”

Y’all know I love me a gay. Even a Tyson Gay, the U.S. sprinter who won the 100 M dash at the Olympic Trials this weekend. (Gay’s time of 9.68 seconds did not break the world record of 9.72 seconds because he was aided by tailwind). My love for this Gay is rooted mostly in the fact that he, in addition to being awesomely fast, gives good headline:

“GAY MAKES HIS POINT”

“Gay’s display dazzling”

“Is Gay’s big day too good to be true?”

“Gay blows field away (with wind’s help)”

Christian news site OneNewsNow is not with me on this, as they republished an AP story on Gay’s weekend victory by auto-replacing the word “gay” with “homosexual.”


OneNewsNow apparently considers “gay” to be a bad word.

What a bunch of homosexuals!

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Thanks, Doctor Rob!

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Congratulasians, Gaysians!

June 17th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples today for the first time since the state Supreme Court legalized gay marriage last month, and one of our favorite gaysians arrived early at the West Hollywood Park auditorium to get his:

Takei was THE FIRST person in West Hollywood this morning (which is sayin’ somethin’) to pay $70 for his marriage license. Cuz y’all know we love being first, especially when it comes to firsts.

Thanks, Jazzy J!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! California Supreme Court Justice Ming Chin

May 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Thursday, May 15th, was a historic moment for California and, we hope, the rest of America. In a 4-3 decision, the California Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on same-sex marriage. The ruling will be final and allow our gay and lesbian friends to legally and fabulously wed in 30 days. Hoorgay, Golden State!

Our joy was somewhat mitigayted, however, upon learning that one of the three dissenting judges is Associate Justice Ming Chin. Chin sided with Judge Marvin Baxter, who wrote in his dissenting opinion:

“The majority…simply does not have the right to erase, then recast, the age-old definition of marriage, as virtually all societies have understood it, in order to satisfy its own contemporary notions of equality and justice.”

Party poop!

Anygay, the real bummer for us is that Judge Chin is kinda Amazian. He grew up the youngest of 8 children in a Chinese immigrant family. His parents–who didn’t even have the opportunity to finish grammar school–were potato farmers in rural Oregon. Chin edited his college yearbook, which is so nerdy cute, and served in Vietnam. And though he’s a conservative, Chin’s proven to be pro-choice. Plus, he sort of resembles our Dads–with that trim haircut and shy, slightly-pained smile–and that gives us fuzzy tummy feelings.

BUT.

As y’all know, it’s a thin line between love and disgrayce. And if you’re not a Friend of a Friend of Dorothy, then you’re no Friend of DISGRASIAN, either.

Court is dismissed!

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Thanks, Dave!

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN

June 25th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Imagine the unfettered joy I experienced this morning when I read this headline: “Gay Completes Double Victory in Style.”

I was, like, “Go on witcha bad self. Work it, gurl!”

Tyson Gay

…until I realized that the paper was talking about a U.S. sprinter. Oh. Yay…Tyson?

It’s just not as fun.

Click here for full story, if you happen to think running is cooler than being gay. In which case, you’re weird and dead to me.

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