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Recruit Him To Your Guild: Taiwanese Dude “Beats” World Of Warcraft

December 3rd, 2009 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

Okay, fine: We’re not WOW experts. So we don’t really know what it means to kill 390,895 creatures, accumulate 7,255,538,878 points of damage, complete 5,906 quests, raid 405 dungeons and hug 11 players–but it sounds like a shit-ton of warcraft to us!  And we’re huge fans of hugging!

A fella in Taiwan, whose handle is “Little Gray,” apparently did all of the above and then some, making him the first person to accomplish basically everything that can be accomplished in 11.5 million people’s favorite lifestyle game, World Of Warcraft. Basically, he’s “beaten” the unbeatable game.

Don't lie. You totally love WOW.

Wowing WOW players


Sure, there are some bitchy WOW sticklers that are already poo-pooing on the epic win, citing a glitch in the, uh, “B.B. King achievement” and a “false victory point” used by Little Gray to override it. But we figure that people suffering from PC eye strain and extended periods of virginity just get grouchy. Details, details.

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Of Course We Came Up With Something Like This

April 30th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The AP reports today, “New toys read brain waves”

Several Silicon Valley companies are coming up with new video games that will read brain waves and reward FOCUS and CONCENTRATION.

DORK GEAR


“Most physical games are really mental games,” said (Koo Hyuong) Lee, also chief technology officer at San Jose-based NeuroSky, a 12-employee company founded in 1999. “You must maintain attention at very high levels to succeed…”

It fulfills the fantasy of telekinesis,” said Tan Le, co-founder and president of San Francisco-based Emotiv.

Kids who play the race car video game “Gran Turismo” with the SmartBrain system can only reach maximum speed when they’re focused. If attention wanes or players become impulsive or anxious, cars slow to a chug.

So, let me get this straight. This is a game? Cuz it kinda sounds like having your Asian Mom in one ear lecturing you about getting straight A’s and your Asian Dad in the other talking about quantum mechanics while you’re trying to take a 4:20 bong hit. Yeah, that sounds like fun. Sign me up.

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You Want A Revolution?

March 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Hot on the market… a USB FINGER DANCE MAT that allows Dance Dance Revolution devotees to get groovy using only their digits.

Oh my.

Across the nation, TI-83 calculators are nervously shaking in their boots, knowingly acknowledging the likely 90% drop in Asian fingertips they’re likely to see in 2008.

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