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I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that most people who saw Seth Gordon’s fantastic 2007 documentary, King of Kong (a film about two middle-aged men–a middle school teacher and a condiment magnate–duking it out for the Guinness World Record on Donkey Kong), were not quickly inspired to follow in the principal characters’ footsteps. Though respectfully portrayed, most of the people featured in the film are lovable losers, aging dorks, gamer geeks–and the addiction itself so all-consuming that it alienates even our hero from family, home and daily life.
But of course, someone did. Hank Chien, a 35-year-old plastic surgeon from New York, started playing the game after seeing the film. He recently broke the standing record, held by longtime recordholder Billy Mitchell, with 1,061,700 points in two and a half hours. The score was 10,000 higher than Mitchell’s.
Filed under: Addiction, Arcade Games, Asians Love Winning Anything, Awesome Documentaries, Billy Mitchell, Breaking Records, Documentaries, Donkey Kong, Excellence, Excelling As A Pastime, Gamers, Guinness Book of World Records, Hank Chien, Harvard, King of Kong, Losers, NYC Plastic Surgeon Breaks Donkey Kong World Record, Plastic Surgeons, Queens, Records, The 80's, Twin Galaxies, Weird American Behavior, Winners, Winning, World Records
Okay, fine: We’re not WOW experts. So we don’t really know what it means to kill 390,895 creatures, accumulate 7,255,538,878 points of damage, complete 5,906 quests, raid 405 dungeons and hug 11 players–but it sounds like a shit-ton of warcraft to us! And we’re huge fans of hugging!
A fella in Taiwan, whose handle is “Little Gray,” apparently did all of the above and then some, making him the first person to accomplish basically everything that can be accomplished in 11.5 million people’s favorite lifestyle game, World Of Warcraft. Basically, he’s “beaten” the unbeatable game.
Sure, there are some bitchy WOW sticklers that are already poo-pooing on the epic win, citing a glitch in the, uh, “B.B. King achievement” and a “false victory point” used by Little Gray to override it. But we figure that people suffering from PC eye strain and extended periods of virginity just get grouchy. Details, details.
Filed under: 2D Life, Dubious Achievements, First To Beat World of Warcraft, Gamers, Gaming, Getting Laid, Guilds, Hugs, Little Gray, Nerds, Taiwan, Taiwanese, Taiwanese Man, W.O.W., World of Warcraft, Wow
Cuz here’s the thing. Ms. White has got a voice like butter, million-dollar smile, freaking gorgeous face, swimsuit model body, longstanding devotion to video games (photo above is an homage–can you place it?), deeeeeep affinity for Korean dramas and K-pop… and seems like an all-around, super fun, super nice chick. Are all of these sweet-ass qualities together in one pretty package a common find? Hell no. Is Pumashock, then basically DISGRASIAN’s wet dream? Oh, yes.
Witness, for instance, this near-perfect interpretation of the Wonder Girls “Nobody” (Like, WOW):
And if you think that accent is just a fluke, check out her synthed up interpretasian of Lee Hyori’s “U Go Girl” (Also, like, WOW):
There’s something about her silky, smooth delivery, cheeky winks, and sweet, inviting smile that is ever-so seductive and, well, surprisingly perfect. Sometimes, it’s damn nice to be shocked.
Occupation: Professional gamer and Survivor: Gabon contestant
Known for: Surviving and then some. Nine weeks into the season, Kenny has–despite being a 98 lb. weakling and an indoor cat who plays video games for a living–not only survived the game but become the most powerful person in it. Using clever mindfuckery, the Vietnamese-American 23 year-old has picked off his Alpha Male competitors one after the other, men who were physically stronger and conventionally better-looking, proving that not all playas have to have washboard abs like Yul Kwon. Jeff Probst, who’s seen kingpins come and go on the show in his 17 seasons hosting, even recently compared Kenny’s coming of age to “watching great Shakespeare” (um, Jeff Probst watches Shakespeare?). Let’s just hope that Kenny’s reign out in the bush is more Henry VIII than Richard III.
Well. It’s official. The Sox pitching rotation for the ALCS, which begins Friday, is set, and Dice-K will be starting Game 1. I’m both incredibly psyched and incredibly about-to-shit-my-pants. Dice-K, despite his awesome winning record this season, walks way too many batters. My baseball-watching comfort zone is insufficient to tolerate Dice-K’s putting-men-on-base-all-the-time steez (which has earned him the nickname “Dice-BB”); that is to say, it is close to nil. We either have to have an insurmountable lead or our pitcher needs to be totally shutting down the opposing team’s batters or else I’m splayed out on the floor, mumbling to myself, Xanax? Scotch? Xanax? Scotch? Xanax and Scotch? Not that Josh Beckett, who starts Game 2, is in better shape to kick things off. Every year I vow to swear off sports entirely because of moments like this. I know, I know…Shut up and pull it together, this is unbecoming. It’s not very Asian of me to say this–an appropriate response would be “Fuckin’ A, I’ve got my shit together” or “It’s in the bag”–but all I can offer at the moment is I. Will. Try.
Filed under: ALCS, Anxiety-Ridden Sports Fans, Ballers, Boston Red Sox, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Dice-BB, Dice-K, Gamers, Hardass Asian Pitchers, Josh Beckett, Losing Your Shit, Tampa Bay Rays, Trying, Xanax? Scotch?
Happy Birthday to G4 heroine Olivia Munn, who turned 26 this week! We think the event should be an honorary holiday for your legions of adoring followers–gamers, tech-geeks, and hipsters alike! And we would have sent an e-card to tell you so, but we’re sure your inbox is FULL.
In honor of the Fourth of July, Diana and I give you, Great Amazian-Americans in History, a two-part timeline. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
Circa 10,000 years ago. Asian hunters cross the Bering Strait into North America, in search of big game.
1839. Thai-Chinese conjoined brothers Chang and Eng Bunker- the original “Siamese twins”–tour North Carolina with P.T. Barnum and decide to live out their lives in America. They marry the Yates sisters and have 22 children between the two of them. Li-trally.
1847. Eureka! California strikes gold. Chinese miners begin migrating by the thousands to “Gold Mountain,” living in squalid conditions while dreaming of a big payday, thereby pioneering the art of being “ghetto fabulous.”
THE WONG AND ONLY And can we talk about how great her bangs look? Bitch was fierce.
THE FATHER OF MODERN SURFING AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF
1912. Hawaiian-born Duke Kahanamoku wins his first Olympic gold swimming medal in the 100 m free (he would medal again in the next two Games). Then he invents modern surfing. Overachiever! Showoff!
1921. Third-generation American Anna May Wong makes her debut at age 16 in the movie Bits of Life. The high point of Wong’s career will come later in Shanghai Express, when she nearly upstages her co-star Marlene Dietrich.
THE WONG AND ONLY
And can we talk about how great her bangs look? Bitch was fierce.
1932. California native Katherine Cheung becomes the first Asian aviatrix. And, along the way, she teaches little girls everywhere how to rock a knee-high boot without looking like a cheap hooker. Brava!
1932. California native Katherine Cheung becomes the first Asian aviatrix. And, along the way, she teaches little girls everywhere how to rock a knee-high boot without looking like a cheap hooker.