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The Lost Summer’s Eve “Hail To The V” Asian Vagina Reel
You know those Summer’s Eve commercials that created quite a stir recently? The ones that seemed to imply all women’s vadges are dirty but most especially those of women of color?
Here’s the “black version”:
And the “Latina version”:
But there was no Asian version. Which left me with all sorts of confused feelings. Like, Hey, are our vadges not dirty, too? Wait, I didn’t just say that. But it feels bad to be left out! No, no, it doesn’t. What I mean is…I just really really want to see what a stereotypical Asian vadge sounds like? Okay?
And then, I got my wish*:
Continue reading The Lost Summer’s Eve “Hail To The V” Asian Vagina Reel
Filed under: Asian Vagina, Asians and Ping Pong, Bad Ad Campaigns, Badvertising, Douchebags, Douches, Funny Stuff, Handgina, No Literally Douches, Parodies, Ping Pong, Private Parts, Spoofs, Summer's Eve, Summer's Eve Ad Campaign, Summer's Eve Asian Talking Vagina, Summer's Eve Commercial, Summer's Eve Commercials, Summer's Eve Hail To The V Commercial, Talking Asian Vagina, Talking Vagina Commercial, Talking Vaginas, Vadges, Vaginas, Vaginas Shooting Out Ping Pong Balls, Vajayjays
Singapore’s Water Polo Team Raises The Banana Hammock Game To A New Level
At the Asian Games in Guangzhou last week, the Singapore water polo team revealed a new swim trunk design based on its country’s flag that had people back home crying desecrasian.
The government deemed the banana hammocks “inappropriate,” and some of its citizens found them “disgusting,” “nauseating,” and “disgraceful.”
Continue reading Singapore’s Water Polo Team Raises The Banana Hammock Game To A New Level
Filed under: Banana Hammocks, Boner Apparel, Boners, Desecrasian, Dicks, Erections, Funny Stuff, LOL, Singapore Flag, Singapore Water Polo Team, Singapore Water Polo Team Wears Inappropriate Swim Trunks at Asian Games, Speedos, Sports Scandals, Swim Trunks, Uniforms, Weird Singaporean Behavior
Chan Ho Park Redefines “Diarrhea Of The Mouth”
So, I was wrong, apparently? (What an unfamiliar and awful sensation. May it never happen again.) Because Chan Ho Park recently disclosed why he sucked on Opening Day, and it had nothing to do with his missing beard.
Some people think it’s funny–and, in this case, it is very VERY funny–but it’s really rotten and runny and it will eff up your ERA, too.
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Asian Baseball Players, Chan Ho Park, Chan Ho Park Diarrhea, Chan Ho Park Yankees, Chan Ho Park's Beard, Diarrhea, Diarrhea Of the Mouth, Funny Stuff, MLB, New York Yankees, Overshares, Oversharing, Relief Pitchers, TMI
At Long Last! The Difference Between Lesbians and Bisexual Women Explained
Finally, someone has explained the difference between lesbian and bisexual women in an easy-to-comprehend way involving two of our favorite food groups, sushi and hot dogs:
In summary…
There is nothing like sushi.
But hot dogs are less complicated.
Sushi, however, gets stale.
And hot dogs are more abundant than sushi.
New sushi is not all that different from old sushi.
Yet the author still prefers sushi-eaters.
Filed under: Best of Craigslist, Bisexual Women, Funny Stuff, Hot Dog Eaters, Hot Dogs, Lesbians, Sushi, Sushi Eaters
Pornogami
Want to learn how to play with your penis?
No, not that one. I mean your origami penis, as demonstrated here by premier pornogamist(?) Master Sugoi, author of Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults:
It’s not everyday I can say this, but…genius scrotal work!
[via Trend Hunter]
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Master Sugoi, Origami is Fucking Impossible, Pornogami, Pornographic Origami, Pornography, Weird Japanese Behavior, Weird Porn Outlets
Question: "When We Refer to Someone as ‘Yellow,’ We Consider Them to Be What?" [AWESOME VIDEO]
Start your weekend off right by watching a kid get something so wrong–or it is sooo right?–on a TV game show:
LMFYAO (Laughing My Fucking Yellow Ass Off).
Thanks, @inuyaki!
Filed under: Funny Stuff, Game Shows, Kids Say the Darnedest Things, LMFAO, OMFG, Viral Videos, Yellow As in Cowardly, Yellow People
For the Poseur in You
Y’all, we read about this new website Asian Poses over at 8 Asians this week, and it has not stopped cracking our shit up.
Asian Poses is basically an online compendium of all the weird poses our peeps use in photographs, with explanations of origin here and there.
I just hope the site remembers to catalog this Asian Pose at some point, too:
[8 Asians: Strike An Asian Pose]
[Asian Poses]
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: 8 Asians, Anime, Asian Poses, Asians and Their Love of Peace Signs, Funny Stuff, Nyan Nyan, Poseurs, The Finger
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!
Happy birthday to our lovable, hot friend Kunal Nayyar! He and The Big Bang Theory co-star Johnny Galecki happen to blow out candles on the same day–today, and we hope they do it together while toasting the success of the only sitcom currently on the air that actually makes us laugh.
Have a great, great, great day, Kunal! DISGRASIAN loves you!
Filed under: Adorable-ness, Big Bang Theory, Birthdays, CBS, Friends are Nice, Funny Stuff, Johnny Galecki, Kunal Nayyar, Sharing Is Caring, Sitcoms
ROCK OF ASIAN: Andrew W.K.
There seem to be 100 reasons to love Andrew W.K., the man behind 2001′s frenetic playtime album I Get Wet. If the brilliantly-structured cheeky sonatas of his debut effort don’t hook you, then there’s a chance his doe-eyes will, or, better, his longstanding reputation for being the nicest goddamn guy ever to wield a guitar or let fresh blood drip down his face.
W.K. is damn serious about not taking the world too seriously, apparent in his dancing grin and brazen musical jaunts–and if you happen to be in on the joke, the result is an endlessly satisfying, good fuckin’ time. But let’s be clear–his is not the sadistic, condescending jokery of an angry genius (à la Rivers Cuomo whining “Pork and Beans”), but a warm, cuddly, Hakuna Matata-pluck at hedonism: Not “fuck you” ha-ha, but “FUCK YEAH!” HA HA!
W.K. recently released a series of J-pop covers only found in Japan, meant as a thank-you gift to his equally warm and cuddly fans in the country. The recordings are executed with all the razzle-dazzle of show tunes, theme songs, and pop anthems, but be ready for a surprise. Something in his vocal delivery and synth orchestration makes the songs deliciously smart and might even invoke a little classic Bowie. (I know, I know. You’re like, “What?!”–but just trust me on this one).
The 14 songs, which includes piano ballad “Kiseki,” can be streamed at his website (listed on the album Premium Collection – The Japan Covers–you’ll have to skip the first 10 songs or so) and are worth the buffering. Enjoy!
Source Source
Thanks, jRu and Jasmine!
Filed under: Andrew W.K., Big in Japan, Bloody Messes, Clever Fellas, Cover Songs, Fuck Yeah, Funny Men, Funny Stuff, J-Pop, Japan, Jokes, Rivers Cuomo, Thank-You Notes
Laugh the Pain Awaysian
I am in one terrible, awful, no-good, very bad mood. Could it be because the moon is full? Did I do one rail too many last night? Is it because I’m still nursing a post-Election comedown and desperately need some methadone? Maybe it’s that I had bad pizza yesterday (which I’ve always thought was impossible). Or that I forgot my parents’ anniversary and feel like a terrible daughter. It’s the fact that I don’t have Guitar Hero World Tour at my house and am worried to death that, without practice, I’ll never master the wild new strumless solos. Or because without debate coverage, new Mad Men and Project Runway episodes, I’ve got nothing to watch on TV besides the Steelers losing to both Manning brothers, and reruns of Dog Whisperer. It definitely has something to do with the fact that that most of my guy friends are being as dramatic as chicks, and all of my chick friends (except for Jen, who is at all times elegant, amazing, and a pleasure to be around) are as crazy as chicken.
But really, when it comes down to it, the “why” I’m feeling shitty doesn’t matter. What matters is what I can possibly do about it. All I’ve been thinking, since opening my angry, slanty eyes this mornings, is what could possibly, in any way shape or form, make me laugh today and turn this crappy attitude around.
And then I saw this week’s FABULOUS Globe cover, which accuses Michelle Obama of exploding against Oprah’s, er, romantic advances:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
I mean, I know Barack is ahem, “pretty” and “sensitive” and “soft” and everything, but I’m pretty sure there’s, uh, no love triangle going on here.
Filed under: Bad Moods, Barack Obama, Disappointing My Parents, Funny Stuff, Just A Hunch--Pretty Sure She's Not That Into Him, Love Triangles, Michelle Obama, Misanthropy, Oprah Winfrey, Shit Friends, Tabloids
Abject Humiliasian
Even though we kiiiiiinda think that Tila Tequila’s producers took Kristy–her last woman suitor standing–aside and whispered in her ear, “There’s an extra 5k in it for you if Tila picks you to prove she’s bi, but you reject her so she can still bang dudes” …we still really, really, really, really, really, really enjoyed watching Tila get rejected in her own fake final eliminasian tonight.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!
PFFFHAHAHA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
HA HA HA HA!
MMRRGGHHA HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Source
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Drive-Bis, Funny Stuff, Humiliasian, More Chicks That Aren't Lesbians, Names Like "Bo", Reality TV, Rejection, Stuff That Makes Us Smile, Tila Tequila, Whateva
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Vidur Kapur
Name: Vidur Kapur
Occupation: Comedian
Known for: a memorable stand-up act that grabs laughs internationally from Bangalore to NYC, his performance in OutLaugh with our lady Margaret Cho, a top-ten nominasian for desiclub.com’s 10 Sexiest men of 2007. He’s Indian hailing from New Delhi, and an Amazian Gaysian… what’s not to love?
See for yourself:
Source
Thanks, jRu!
Filed under: Amazians, Comedians, Famous International Playboys, Funny Stuff, Hot Asian Men, India, Margaret Cho, Stand-Up, We Heart Gaysians
