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You’re Young Min, the dude who moved all of his belongings from Flushing, Queens to the Upper West Side last week using only the subway? And the help of your friends, or, uh, former friends, seeing as how they haven’t returned your calls since you had them schlep your:
- air conditioner
- collapsible double-rod closet
- dishes (including serving platters and utensils)
- assorted framed pictures
- a soup cauldron
- Korean medicine
- AND a 40-pound bag of rice
Listen, I know you’re really confused and all “What gives?” right now. So let me just assure you, it’s not you, it’s them. (Perhaps you’ve heard this one before.) But seriously. If your so-called “friends” can’t appreciate the extraordinary feat you’ve just achieved by moving all your worldly shit from one borough to another on not one but TWO subway lines, with a transfer in Times Square, the most heinous of ratholes hellholes justplainholeholes stations, they don’t deserve to be called friends.
Because sure, you coulda called a moving company. Or The Man with a Van (there seem to be quite a few of those guys these days). You coulda even been The Man–with a Van–by renting a truck at Budget for about $20 a day, not including mileage. But where’s the fun in that? Private transportation is for PUSSIES!!! That’s how you probably pitched it to your friends–er, former friends–am I right?
“No, seriously, guys, moving my shit will be a friendship builder! It’s like a scavenger hunt, only you don’t have to find stuff! It’s like a camp game, but in the urban jungle! It’s like a trust fall, only more butch! It’s like, it’s like…oh hell, I dunno, think of the camaraderieeeee!!!”
And sure, there are probably going to be naysayers who’ll question the cost-effectiveness of moving some of your possessions, particularly that 40 lb. bag of rice. They’ll say, “Couldn’t he have ditched the $25 bag of rice [Assuming you go for the low-end, and, ah, something tells me you do.--Ed] and bought himself a new one?” But those people Continue reading The Moving Tale Of New Yorker Young Min
Filed under: Friends, It's Not You It's Me, New York City Subway, New Yorker Moves All Of His Belongings On Subway, Rice, Times Square, Weird New Yorker Behavior, With Friends Like That Who Needs Enemies, Young Min
Ladies and gentlemen, a lesson in, um, Physics.
Nicole Scherzinger just laid down a track on Slash’s new album, Slash and Friends.
And we just deleted him from our Facebook friends.
It’s called friendship balance, people! Balance. Hey, we’re just trying to keep the world intact. We can’t argue with science, for crying out loud.
“Dude. WTF happened? One minute, I’m on the hottest television show of all time and married to the hottest man in the universe. And the next, I’m forty, single, my ovaries are drying up, and I’m driving a motherfucking rickshaw. I knew I should’ve become a Scientologist when I had the chance. FML”
Recently, after Tila Tequila shared lunch with John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, much speculation rippled across the Interwebz about such an unlikely pairing–what could those two possibly have to talk about?
Tequila clarified things about her “really good friend” to Us Magazine:
“People may think we are so different, but she is a Scorpio and I’m a Scorpio, and we have very strong opinions about things.”
And you know what, I now completely understand what she means. Jen and I have been “really good friends,” like triple-time-super-sista-BFF4EvaNEvas, for quite awhile, and it’s no secret why. Jen’s Asian and I’m Asian, she likes stuff and I like stuff, we’ve both read some books, we both like dinner, we both own couches, we both live in California! I mean, if we’re NOT an obvious match, I don’t know who is.
We’re not just saying we like the tunes of Pretty Buoyant Society because the guys behind the speakers are our friends, Adriel and DJ Phatrick. Although that definitely gives any a project a leg up. I mean…
Anyway, we like Pretty Buoyant Society (and, okay, we’ve only heard two tracks so far, but they are hot) because they’re funny, bizarre, sexy, synthetic. And because their debut single, “Schizophrenic Love” (which features femme fatale Golda Supernova) makes us dance and inspires us to do funky stuff.
Put it all together, and it kinda makes us curious… Are our pals in P.B.S. the next Ween or the next N.E.R.D.? Are the laughs meant to mask the genius? Is it dirty or is it nice? Is it good or is it fuckin’ great?
I think I know the answer to that last question, actually.
Download yo’ free mp3 right here. It’s fuckin’ great.
Thanks, Adriel and Phatrick!
We ladies all have that one girlfriend who always looks better than we do, no matter how hard we try. You know, the one with the skinnier legs and the prettier hair who looks perennially chic, even when they’re, like, cleaning out the cat litter box? For me, that friend is Mimi, whose clothes I used to borrow all the time when we lived together in college. She has the body of a ballerina (which she once was) and this uncanny ability to make everything she wears look expensive. I’ve tried over the years to figure out what it is exactly that makes her so striking–Is it her lithe arms? Her wide-set eyes? The fact that she’s slightly bow-legged, like Kate Moss?–but after a lot of rumination (and many failed efforts to imitate her), I can only chalk it up to something that can’t be quantified: mystique.
I wasn’t at all surprised, then, when I saw a photograph of her today, taken from behind, on my favorite style blog in the universe, The Sartorialist. She works in fashion and is currently in Milan, making other women weep with envy in the streets:
Immediately I thought of Degas (ballet again, which means in my next life, I’m definitely studying ballet). I also thought she was the girl on the right, because she’s taller than me, so I always think of her as “the tall one,” but she’s actually the one on the left. When I told her this, she wrote in an email, “Well, we can lie and say it’s you and me.”
Sometimes, lies are so much better than the truth.
For more style awesomeness, go to The Sartorialist.
Post-election politics have begun to resemble an episode of The Hills lately, with Obama–who is obviously Lauren Conrad–reconciling with bitter rival John McCain Monday while currently vetting best frenemy Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State. McCain is this drama’s Heidi Montag, Lauren’s former friend who started out likable and sweet but wound up, over time, becoming a lying deceitful bitch. (Heidi spreading rumors about Lauren’s alleged sex tape = The McCain camp’s allegations that Obama palled around with terrorists.) We’ve got Hillary, meanwhile, pegged as Audrina Patridge, Lauren’s on-again, off-again friend whose Significant Other always seems to be stirring up trouble between them. (Monosyllabic Justin Bobby = Overly-loquacious Bill.) Will Hillary turn down the position as Secretary of State, the way that Audrina recently turned down living with Lauren and Lo (BFF/gatekeeper Lo = Rahm Emanuel) to move out on her own? Will Bill’s ties to oil sheikhs compromise the already-tenuous friendship between Hillary and Obama the way that rumors about a Justin Bobby hook-up with Lauren hurt Lauren and Audrina? Will McCain and Obama really be able to put aside their differences to tolerate being in the same room together or–dare to dream–to be friends again, even?
Filed under: Audrina Patridge, Barack Obama, BFFs, Frenemies, Friends, Heidi Montag, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Lauren Conrad, Secretary of State, The Hills, The Hills Seemed Completely Useless Until Now