You are currently browsing posts tagged with Freedom
Marriage Liberasian
The ink is barely dry on la divorce, but it looks like somebody has already moved on…
**Disclaimer**: This Craiglist ad is, er, probably not real. But, um, God bless you if you needed us to tell you that.
Filed under: Bad Breakups, Craigslist, Crazy Bitches, Creepy Old Dudes, Divorce, Freedom, Kimora Lee Likes to Fight, Kimora Lee Simmons, Russell Simmons, Thank God It's Over, Vague Spirituality
BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN!
Happy 63rd birthday to Daw Aung San Suu Kyi! You have endured 12 years of unlawful house arrest, so we wish you freedom. Freedom for you and the Burmese people who, like you, are heroically surviving in spite of it all.
Filed under: Aung San Suu Kyi, Burma, Cyclone Nargis, Freedom, Heroes, House Arrest, Military Juntas Blow, Myanmar, Surviving
Don’t Worry, Ann Curry
News reports have confirmed that Ann Curry was captured yesterday after fleeing from a moving vehicle in North Fort Myers, Florida. *Insiders say that she was last seen robot-running from the set of The Today Show with metallic tears streaming from her aluminum eyes, bleating, “Screw. You. Matt. Lauer! I will. Not. Be. Your. Smiling Robot Friend. Anymore! This. Charade. Is Over. I Need. To Be Free! Make Al Roker. Your Bitch! Good. Bye!”
“Ann Curry,” the common name for prototype Android CURR176-051B, was first developed in 1962 by a Les Lee, a robotics engineer who often commiserated with pal George Lucas about how “‘droids do it better.” Lee has spent most of his career making robots in the model of his mother’s image to serve for national news reporting and reality show casts.
After being treated for minor injuries, Curry will be sent to North Carolina for rehabilitasian and possible duplicasian for future needs.
Source
*most of this story is untrue. However, a zebra named Ann Curry was indeed captured after escaping from a moving vehicle in Florida and was sent to N. Carolina to breed. We wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the story (metallic tears and all) happened anyway.
Filed under: Ann Curry, Freedom, Matt Lauer, Robots, The Great Escape, Zebras
Don’t Worry, Be Zaldy
Zaldy Goco, former L.A.M.B. designer and Gwen Stefani-lackey (left)
Olivier Theyskens, Nina Ricci designer and Reese Witherspoon-lackey (right)
Now that you’ve emancipated yourself from Mistress Stefani, it’s all uphill from here, Zaldy. Take a cue from your lookalike Theyskens and upgrade your blonde bitch!
Filed under: Blonde Bitches, Freedom, Gwen Stefani, Olivier Theyskens, Reese Witherspoon, Zaldy Goco
