DISGRASIAN™

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Lisa Ling

Happy birthday, Lisa Ling! You turned 36 earlier this week!

We’ve certainly had our fun with you in the past, but hell. The incredible poise that you showed during this difficult-and-crazy-ass year, coupled with an ongoing quest to share important stories with an audience that often cares more about Tom Cruise and free shit, topped off by the fact that you are probably the world’s best sport about web heckling–well, it gives us mad lurve for you. In fact, we’ve got goofy celebratory grins plastered across our round moon faces, just thinking about it.

Here’s hoping 36 is a year spent doing fun sister things (like TPing a neighbor’s house) and few exchanges with one of the World’s Biggest Assholes. We salute you!

xo,
Diana and Jen

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Filed under: Birthdays, Bullshit Years, Free Stuff, Good Sports, Heckling, Lisa Ling, Moon Faces, Sisters, We're Nice On Your Birthday

Sign Up Now: "The 3 Biggest Diversity Blunders Your Organization Could Be Making Right Now (And How to Avoid Them)" Cuz It’s Free, Cheapskate

Now that Barack Obama is president, we can all hold hands, sing Kumbaya together, cry post-racial tears, and chillax, because all is right with the world, right?

Wrong.

Even though we now have a black President in office (hooraysian!), we still have a lot to learn about race, diversity, and equal opportunity. Especially in the workplace, where people of color and women are still woefully underrepresented at the highest levels.

If you or your organization are grappling with these issues, DISGRASIAN encourages you to sign up for a free teleseminar (it’s a 60 minute phone call) that takes place TOMORROW, Wednesday, January 21, 5 PM EST with Miz Carmen Van Kerckhove (pictured left), founder of Racialicious and president of the diversity training firm, New Demographic.

“The 3 Biggest Diversity Blunders
Your Organization Could Be Making Right Now
(And How to Avoid Them)”

On this 60-minute call, you’ll learn:

* Why your colleagues are right to scoff at diversity training — it actually doesn’t work! I’ll show you why not, and let you know what does work instead.
* Why your organization’s executives should never proclaim that they’re colorblind and that they “just don’t notice race,” unless they want to offend a lot of their employees.
* The one thing your organization must avoid at all costs unless you wants its diversity efforts to fail spectacularly.

Reserve your line for this FREE teleseminar now!

We’ve sat on a panel with Carmen, and we personally guarantee that you’ll want to listen to her discuss diversity issues for an hour because 1) she’s wicked smart and 2) her voice is like honey. Plus, we all could use a little edumucasian. And did we mention it’s free?

Sign up here.

Filed under: Carmen Van Kerckhove, Diversity Training, Free Stuff, Racialicious, Self-Improvement

It’s Official: We’re In A Rec-Asian

It has been declared, finally, by the National Bureau of Economic Research: the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007.

Jeez, we’re super smart– we called it a long time ago! (Then again, so did all of the average-brained folks, so I guess that’s not saying much.)

So, what to do in such times of financial crisis? Cry? Drink? Steal? We could do like Warren Buffet and invest in American products. And I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, but DISGRASIAN is American. And y’know, “investing” in us is pretty much free–just click on over, and freely imbibe in the sweet/salty liquor of our shaming!

Enjoy the free fun of DISGRASIAN, day in and day out. It’s free! Did I mention that it’s free?

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Filed under: Bummers, Cheap Fun, DISGRASIAN in Tough Times, Economic Crisis, Free Stuff, Money Matters, Recessions, Shameless Self-Promotion, Things You Should Do When Times Are Tight, Warren Buffet

The Problem with Socialist Inculcasian (UPDATE)

A UK man reported on a MacRumors Forum last week that he received his new iPhone pre-loaded with pictures of the factory girl who made it:

Okay, altogether now: Awwwwwwwwwww! Cuuuuuuuuute!

Now that we got that out of the way, can we be serious for an iMoment? The iPhone is assembled in Shenzhen, China (where basically everything you own is made). So this girl is Chinese. And we can comfortably assume that she’s been inculcated by socialist doctrine her whole life. Which means we need to shake some sense into her.

HOMEGIRL, LISTEN TO YOUR CAPITALIST SISTAS. Photos of cute Asian chicks that wind up circulating the internets so that pasty white dudes have something to spank it to are worth a premium, yo. Under no circumstances do you EVER give that shit away for free! Y’hear?!

[via BuzzFeed]

UPDATE: A spokesperson for Foxconn, who assembles the phones, calls the iPhone photo incident a “mistake.” You bet your not-free ass it is!

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Filed under: Apple Products, Communism Sucks, Cute Asian Chicks, Cuz Love Do Cost a Thing, Free Photos of Asian Girls, Free Stuff, iPhone, Ka-Ching Chong is the new English, Socialism, Spanking It

Guitar Hero, Watch Your Back

Wired reported today that a free, online, Guitar Hero-like game called JamLegend will launch in a couple weeks.

JamLegend was designed by recent Claremont McKenna grads Arjun Lall, Andrew Lee, and Ryan Wilson and resembles the Guitar Hero mini-game below. The 1-5 keys are your fret buttons and the return key is your strummer.

Harder than it looks right? Last weekend, I revisited Guitar Hero II because I’m bored with III, punked the Aerosmith version in about one-and-a-half days, and find Rock Band pretty unchallenging. I had never successfully played “Free Bird” on Expert, but on Friday night, I KILLED IT. Yeah, I’m bragging (and, yeah, I’m also aware it’s pathetic that that’s how I spend my Friday nights), but the point is, while I can now play “Free Bird” on Expert, playing Guitar Hero on my computer is a whole lot harder. JamLegend promises all this and more; you’ll be able to battle people online and have access to a massive song catalog, since unknown artists are invited to upload their music to the game.

JamLegend is in private beta at the moment, but if you can sign up now to be notified when they go public. As if you needed more reasons to kill time at your computer!

[via Wired]

Filed under: Free Bird, Free Stuff, Fucking Around, Guitar Hero, JamLegend, Killing Time, Online Gaming, Procrastinasian

ROCK OF FREESIAN: The Go! Team’s "Milk Crisis"

UK-based band the Go! Team is something like sonic Lexapro–a happy pill for your ears. On Monday, they made their Proof of Youth B-side “Milk Crisis”–ridiculously boppy and infectious–available for free download on their website. If you watch the Cartoon Network, you may have seen snippets of “Milk Crisis” in recent promos. Here’s the whole video, with Kaori Tsuchida singing in English and Japanese:

Feel better, don’t you? Click here for more happy happy fun fun at the Go! Team’s website.

(via Pitchfork)

Filed under: British Bands, Downloads, Free Stuff, Happy Pills, Kaori Tsuchida, Ladies Who Rock, Lexapro, Milk Crisis, Proof of Youth, The Cartoon Network, The Go Team