You are currently browsing posts tagged with Floods

The Umbrellas of Cebu-rg

July 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

It always bugs the hell outta me when Angelenos (most of whom are transplants from less sunny climes) say things like, “I love L.A., but I really miss the rain.” I’m always like, No, ya don’t, ya fuckin’ liar. It’s as though liking the rain is some kind of badge of honor, like you’re suddenly a deeper person, just add water. Phooey. I grew up outside of Houston, one of the wettest cities in America, where it rains more than it does in London (a little fact I learned once from playing way too much Trivial Pursuit), so I know from rain. Rain kills. It kills your hair. It kills your suede shoes. It creates floods, mold, and brings out water mocassins, all of which, BTW, kill.

I’m relieved that somebody out there understands this and has developed The Self-Defense Umbrella (aka The Fighting Umbrella or The Unbreakable Umbrella). These umbrellas are so badass that the security detail for Philippines (one “L”) president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo carries them. Don’t believe me? Check this:

(via Wired)

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Sure, Blame the Slutty Dykes

July 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This summer, China has experienced rain and flooding in biblical proportions. Which is why it’s not funny to laugh at this headline: Loose dykes spur China flood fears.

I repeat, not funny at all. Not one bit. Stop it. I see you snickering. No, seriously, I’m trying to keep a straight face. Okay, now I’m only laughing because you’re tickling me. You’re being totally inappropriate, don’t you know that? I mean, really!

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Infestasian

July 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The LA Times reports today that, because of severe flooding this summer, 2 BILLION MICE have invaded agrarian villages surrounding Dongting Lake in central China, destroying crops and grossing out residents.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

I’m standing on my chair just thinking of it.

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