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Famed, self-proclaimed “feminist lawyer” Gloria Allred has accomplished some bold and fascinating things during her long, high-profile career. She sued the Boy Scouts for excluding girls. She repped Nicole Brown Simpson’s family in the O.J. Simpson murder trial. In ’04, she filed the first lawsuit in California challenging the denial of marriage licenses as being unconstitutional.
But Allred also represents Tiger’s classiest mistress, Rachel Uchitel, and helped her nab $10 million to keep her trap shut about her sexy times with the year’s most famous philanderer. She took on client Josyln James, the porn star who’s been peddling her dirty wares alongside an online log of Tiger’s banausic sexts, and seeks an apology for James’s… time?
The attorney now stands alongside a new money-grubbing fame-seeking apology-seeking bandwagoneer: Woods’s kindergarten teacher, Maureen Decker. Decker feels wronged by a story that first appeared in Charles Barkley’s book The Wicked Game, which was published in 2005–and after five years realized that Tiger Woods was wrapped in a shit spiral and ladies everywhere could cash in if they played their cards right she couldn’t take the “migraines, elevated blood pressure, and colitis” for one more day, sought Allred’s inparticular counsel, and went public with her beef.
Does simply signing clients with vaginas make one a feminist? Because we kinda think that a truly pro-fem lawyer would have been the one working to secure Elin Nordegren’s future and due financial security. Instead, she’s taking a percentage of victories for women who feel they are owed something for spreading their legs and screwing somebody else’s husband. Ah, what a powerful message: “If I fuck you, you better take care of me.”
Filed under: 15 Minutes of Fame, Bad Examples, Elin Nordegren, Fame Whores, Feminism is Dead, Feminists, firsts, Glorie Allred, I Call Bullshit, Lawsuits, Mistresses, Money-Grubbers, Rachel Uchitel, Striking While The Iron Is Hot, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Sex Scandal, Ugh
The feminist (Sorry for using the F-word, Jen! I had to…) blog Womanist Musings recently posted in protest of one of Margaret Cho’s MySpace blog entries, in which she describes her desire to do bad things (like eat “Alaskan pussy from behind”) to Sarah Palin.
Their beef with Cho:
Patriarchy continually reduces women to fuckable objects; and for a woman to perform the same behaviour is collusion. Shit like this is exactly why women continue to be marginalized and oppressed. This is not liberating or empowering; it says to the world that that the only thing valuable about us is the gadget between our legs. I am all for women demanding orgasms and being sexual beings but this kind of commentary is just pussy pandering to titillate the patriarchal imagination.
Listen–I’m with Womanist! THE ONLY THING VALUABLE ABOUT SARAH PALIN IS NOT THE GADGET BETWEEN HER LEGS!!!
I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country…” –Brooke Hogan, in a forthcoming episode of ‘Brooke Knows Best’
Here’s the funny thing. I’m a woman, a woman dealing with a lot of emotions right now–not menopause, maybe PMS. I’m feeling totally nauseous and moody. Like, I’m looking at your face and I totally want to throw up. I’m reading about your nonchalance regarding voting and it’s putting me in a full-on bad mood. And in parsing through your idiotic assessment of why it’s crazy for a woman to be running for office… well, hell, it makes me so furious that I want to wage war on the Hogan family and bomb your ass.
Oh. Hunh. I guess that kinda makes me qualified to be President after all, huh?