You are currently browsing posts tagged with Fake Solutions


December 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

While most people, ourselves included, have tried over the last eight months to make sense out of what happened at Virginia Tech in April, or put it out of our minds because it’s too horrific to deal with, or get over the fact that Seung Cho was Asian and a lot of people still think that our peeps are waiting to go apeshit on college campuses, Northern Virginia rappers DZK and F.a.T.–aka Red Giants–have come up with the ultimate coping mechanism in “VA Tech Aftermath”: get rich and fuck the dyin’.

The song, which includes a sample of Seung Cho’s videotaped rant against people he perceived as his spoiled, rich peers, contains these really really smart lyrics on how to deal with the horror of that mass murder:

“I bought the plot where they buried this freak/ And installed not one but three ATM machines…

This message is to you in college/ We don’t care about you and your problems/ You can flip out, stressing over some loot/ It doesn’t really matter how many weapons you shoot/ We’re still ballin’/ Hold up, just let me check my wallet/ I left a message for Cho, hope it’s warm in hell for you/ It’s V-A callin’/ We just wanted to tell you ‘still ballin’!”

Awesome idea, guys! I think this is how we should deal with all kinds of tragedy. When bad shit goes down, like when people get killed and stuff, you gotta make as much ca$h money as possible to really show dead mass murderers what’s what. Yeah, that’s right. So all y’all out there better still be ballin’, or bad shit is gonna happen. Or, bad shit’s gonna happen but it don’t matter if your wallet’s fat. Or something along those lines. Sheeit, this is confusing. Maybe this makes no sense. No, it’s a great idea. I’m still ballin’, you’re still ballin’, we’re all still ballin’, so suck it, Seung Cho! Yeah, that’s right. Peace.


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April 27th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Japan Today reported yesterday that a Tokyo man was arrested for groping a woman who happened to be a female police officer. As many of you may already know, groping and sexual assault on Japan’s shockingly overcrowded public trains (commonly known as “chikan”–pervert) have shown themselves to be such epidemics that many lines have begun to offer female-only trains. Cool–a band-aid solution, at best, but at the very least a well-intended effort.

Which is why I am shocked and disgusted to see this kind of horrible assault depicted in yet another f’ing weird offensive Asian porn video. It’s so mind-blowingly wrong, I can’t embed it on our site, but you can access the *INCREDIBLY NSFW* piece here.


I’ve gotta add: The train rape fetish is truly bad enough, but the fact that the commentators on the site don’t seem to realize how absolutely grave and wrong it is, is what truly makes me sick to my stomach.

And so, to all those involved in the persistence of CHIKAN, you are Disgrasian of the Weak. Surely you can do better.


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Exceptasian to the Rule: Michelle Malkin

April 19th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I just want to say once and for all that NOT ALL ASIANS ARE SMART. Stop stereotyping us like that, alright? What, you don’t believe me? You want proof? Look no further, then, than Dental Disgrasian and conservative cuntdit Michelle Malkin.

This is Malkin’s predictable-bordering-on-dispassionate response to the Virginia Tech shootings:

The fantasy of gun-free zones
Plus: A lesson in “sensitivity”
By Michelle Malkin · April 18, 2007 04:44 PM

“…Instead of teaching students to defend their beliefs, American educators shield them from vigorous intellectual debate. Instead of encouraging autonomy, our higher institutions of learning stoke passivity and conflict-avoidance.

And as the erosion of intellectual self-defense goes, so goes the erosion of physical self-defense.

As news was breaking about the carnage at Virginia Tech, a reader e-mailed me a news story from last January. State legislators in Virginia had attempted to pass a bill that would have eased handgun restrictions on college campuses. Opposed by outspoken, anti-gun activists and Virginia Tech administrators, that bill failed.

Is it too early to ask: ‘What if?’ What if that bill had passed? What if just one student in one of those classrooms had been in lawful possession of a concealed weapon for the purpose of self-defense?…”

I hate to answer a question with a question, but I have a few for you, Malkin:

What if the shooter and the self-defender, both in lawful possession of concealed weapons, are in different classrooms in the same building?

What if the shooter and the self-defender, both in lawful possession etc., are in different buildings?

What if the self-defender, who is in lawful possession etc., sleeps in and cuts class that morning?

What if the shooter gets into his/her first choice college, and the self-defender has to settle for a “safety school,” and they are at different universities, in different states, and in different time zones?

What if…

OH. I get it. Forgive me for being daft on the uptake. You think that all college students should arm themselves at all times in the event of an unforeseeable tragedy, on the off-chance that one homicidal shooter and one or more law-abiding gun-toting self-defenders, all in lawful possession of concealed weapons, will happen to find themselves in the same classroom at the same time on the same exact day?

That’s your solution? Hmm. Your mind is so…complex. Have you ever thought of running for office? Because it’s this kind of rigorous, righteous thinking that will surely prevent another Virginia Tech from happening, “win” the war in Iraq, win back Congress for conservatards, and make you rich enough to buy the things you’ve always needed–braces and a muzzle.

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