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New Year, New You: The Chinese Roundworm Diet

January 6th, 2011 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

It’s the start of a new year, which means you’re supposed to suddenly be transformed into an incandescent new being with a higher consciousness, a magical aura, a quicker mind, and–most importantly–a tighter ass, am I right? Right now, there are “news” stories everywhere about holiday weight gain and New Year’s weight loss resolutions and celebrity detoxes. Oh, and diets. Diets for the whole family, “diets for your wallet,” the chocolate milk diet, the Chinese roundworm diet…wait, what?!

According to a news story published last week in Britain’s Daily Mail, female Chinese students are resorting to eating roundworm eggs in order to get thin for job interviews. While there’s plenty of weird news coming out of China, the only weird thing about this story is the story itself (which was also reposted on HuffPo). And by weird, I mean “dubious,” “poorly reported,” and “kinda fakey fake-seeming.”

For starters, the Daily Mail is alleging that female students in the southern city of Xiamen, China, are eating roundworm eggs to look thin for job interviews, because jobs are scarce while the labor force is massive. Excerpted from the story’s opening paragraphs:

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! The Twinkie Diet

November 8th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

No, we are not talking about “Twinkies” in the “yellow on the outside, white on the inside”-sense. We are talking 1,800 calories a day of Twinkies, Doritos, Oreos, and other “foods” that come in crinkly, plastic, environment-hating packages. We are talking a diet of junk food that one nutrition professor undertook for 10 weeks that not only made him lose 27 lbs., but also lowered his BMI from overweight to normal, dropped his bad cholesterol by 20 percent and increased his good cholesterol by 20 percent, and reduced his triglycerides–or fat–levels by 39 percent.

Don’t get us wrong. This diet is fucking disgusting.

BUT.

One man’s Twinkie is another man’s Kyochon fried chicken, and it gives us hope that there’s a way to keep eating some of our favorite foods without one of our relatives at the next family gathering making that dreaded but inevitable observation that’s somehow okay to make when you’re Asian:

“[Insert Asian-Language Exclamation Word of your choice]–YOU GOT SO FAT!”

[CNN: Twinkie diet helps nutrition professor lose 27 pounds]

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