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Super Bowl Sunday Hangover: Groupon’s Good Deeds

February 7th, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Guys, seriously, Groupon did a good thing, okay? Because after they aired that Super Bowl ad about Tibetans-being-oppressed-but-who-gives-a-shit-when-we-can-save-money (above), we’re actually talking about Tibet today. And when’s the last time anyone talked about Tibet? At a Bjork concert in 2008? Groupon’s made Tibet hip to talk about again! I mean, sure, talk is cheap, but so are things you buy with Groupons!

Also: Groupon actually aired that ad out of the goodness of their hearts, and are tying the ad to The Tibet Fund, where they’ll match your donations up to $100,000. (Never mind that, by comparison, their Super Bowl spots cost them $3 million.) That’s like giving a dime for every Tibetan who’s died in their political struggle with China over the last 60 years. 10 cents per human life, talk about bargains!

The other good deed Groupon performed? Relegating an ongoing political struggle for self-rule and religious freedom to a “noble cause” in line with whale and rainforest-saving. And we all know that “noble cause” is code for “bumper sticker cause” or “t-shirt cause,” which means we can all buy the bumper sticker or t-shirt for the cause–with a Groupon, I dare hope–and then stop thinking about the noble cause altogether. Oh hell, Continue reading Super Bowl Sunday Hangover: Groupon’s Good Deeds

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Professor Kenneth “Big Baby Kenny” Ng And His Thai Hooker Website

April 23rd, 2010 | 13 comments | Posted by Jen

Up until today, Cal State-Northridge Economics professor Kenneth Ng had a website.

photo via Jezebel

Not just any website, mind you, but a Thai sex-tourism one called “Big Baby Kenny” that took you through the, ahem, ins-and-outs of the “Thailand Girl Scene” and promised “No Hidden Agenda, No Censorship, No Bullshit.”

[By "Girl" he means "Hooker."--BULLSHIT RED FLAG #1]

But then people got wind of it and thought, SHOCKINGLY, that it was creepy and inappropriate and, what else? Oh right: creepy. Then Cal State-Northridge said it wouldn’t intervene or discipline Ng because he didn’t run his creepy site using public/University resources. A free speech debate ensued, with Ng as his own most vociferous defender. As he told the LA Daily News:

“I’m not going to let anyone make me take it down. That’s just a personality thing.”

And by “anyone,” Ng did not mean himself, apparently, because earlier today, he actually took down his own site [BULLSHIT RED FLAG #2].  NOT, as Cal State-Northridge’s Provost Harry Hellenbrand said in a statement “because [Ng] considered the subject matter and content as unsuitable for public discourse, public discussion, or public debate,” but “because of the deleterious effect it had on the university’s reputation.”

[Which never occurred to Ng in the entire year during which the site was up, when he was waxing economic about prostitution--"The Thailand Girls Scene is all about expanded opportunities. It allows you to do things that just cannot be done in 'The World' or lowers the cost so much that a guy with a normal income can do things which he could never afford in 'The World'"--a trade that engenders child abuse, violence towards women, and human trafficking in Thailand.--BULLSHIT RED FLAG #3]

No, the reason Ng took down his website is because it was just too good [BULLSHIT RED FLAG #4].  In the only post you can now find on Big Baby Kenny written by Ng–all others have been deleted (although his delusional, grandiose prose lives on in this gem)–the professor writes:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Professor Kenneth “Big Baby Kenny” Ng And His Thai Hooker Website

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Kate "Mommy D’Eau-est" Gosselin

June 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

“Kate Gosselin Should Be Sent to Jail.”

“Kate Gosselin Is A Monster.”

“Kate Gosselin might be the devil.”

These were just some of the blogosphere headlines that sprang up in the last 24 hours after this candid camera-oops of Kate Gosselin denying her twin daughter Mady water before an Access Hollywood interview found its way onto the internet:

Okay. Now that we got that over with, everybody take a deep breath and a fuckin’ chill pill, alright?

We don’t know if Kate Gosselin is a bad mother. We don’t know if 8 year-old Mady really hadn’t had water all day or she was just being a drama queen (Google her name and you’ll get “bitch,” “devil’s child,” and “needs discipline”). We don’t have any context for this moment, and we sure as shit don’t know what it’s like to have 8 kids and how that works your nerves.

But we do know one thing–this is no way to treat your Talent. And that’s precisely what those kids are, considering the Gosselins’ payout per Jon & Kate Plus 8 episode is $50,000-$75,000, not to mention all the free shit they receive, like those his-and-hers motorcycles and Kate’s plastic surgery. Plus, the kids are the reason why most people tune in in the first place. Sure people are still interested in Jon and Kate, but mostly, these days, for the schadenfreude. We delight in seeing Kate become more of a controlling, henpecking biatch and Jon an ineffectual, emasculated fat-face. We think there’s some relationship-truth to be gleaned from watching theirs fall apart, a pearl of wisdom in their misery that explains the essential difference between men and women and makes us feel better about ourselves. We’re busy picking sides (Team Jon and Team Kate tees, anyone?) while simultaneously reveling in both teams’ failure. If we want them to reconcile, it’s partly because we know that it would make for really “good TV.”

But the kids? They just work here–in this dismal, falling-apart, faking-it-for-the-cameras, cash cow-”reality.” And they are adorbs, the silver lining of an otherwise sad, sad cloud. So somebody–whether it’s their mom or an obsequious P.A.–better be getting them some top-of-the-line bottled water (we’re thinking Fiji) when they ask for it. Because they’ve fucking earned it.

Thanks, Erica and Jasmine!

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Slumdog Exploitasian Scandal: Fake, Real or Something In-Between?

January 29th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There’s a new Slumdog Millionaire scandal a-brewing, with the families of two of its child stars claiming exploitasian. The parents of 8 year-olds Rubina Ali and Azharuddin Ismail, who play young Latika and Salim in the film, respectively, and are both still living in Mumbai slums, have accused the film’s producers of underpaying their children. (The families also appear to be in the direst of straits: Rubina’s father broke his leg during filming and has been out of work since, and Azharuddin’s father has TB.)


The movie’s distributor, Fox Searchlight, responded by saying that the children were paid three times the average wage of adults in their neighborhoods. Considering their neighborhoods are slums and the average annual income in India is $941, this sounds like a raw deal for the kids. Apparently, a trust fund has also been set up for the child actors that they will be able to access when they are 18, provided they stay in school. Which sounds slightly better, until you start to wonder: Isn’t it pretty fucking impossible to stay in school until you’re 18 when you’re living in a slum in India? The drop-out rate is 30% in America and higher in lower-income areas, so what must it be like in India, where ONE-THIRD of ALL the world’s poor live? This may be a noble plan in theory, but is it even tenable?

Maybe Fox Searchlight and Danny Boyle and Slumdog‘s producers have done right by those kids, relatively speaking, but would it be any skin off their noses to do, for lack of a better phrase, more right? What would it cost, a few thousand dollars? That’s nothing to a movie that’s already grossed $62 million.

Entertainment Weekly asked its readers to weigh in on this controversy, and there’s an array of thoughtful ideas on the situation, like how the movie’s overrated, or how the media’s making all of this up, or how these child actors–hell, all of India–is to blame for…um…outsourcing:


And some of you wonder why we don’t allow comments.

[UPDATE: Some backpedaling.]

Source

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Dear Irene and Randy’s Parents

October 29th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Dear Parents,

Hey guys! What’s up? I’ve been watching your Prop 8 YouTube video over and over since Diana posted it yesterday, and I feel compelled to tell you: YOUR SON RANDY IS GAY. I don’t mean in that Hilary Duff way. I mean gay-gay. Don’t ask me how I know; I have wicked awesome gaydar is all.

gaily yours,
Jen

P.S. When Randy comes out in 10 years and you disown him, send him along to us, will ya? We really ♥ gaysians. Peace.

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DISGRASIAN Jr.: 86 Your Parents

October 28th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

[UPDATE: It seems that Irene and Randy's parents have disabled video embedding, but you can still watch the haterasian here.]

Dear Little Irene and Randy,

It’s great that you’re getting involved with politics at such a young age. Having not hit puberty yet, I’m sure it can get pretty durned confusing with all of the grownups around ya filling your head with all sorts of “information” and “facts” about important things like, “Why homosexuality is wrong” and “The certainty of you suddenly encountering the confusing situation of your mom being a man and your dad being a woman if Proposition 8 doesn’t pass in California.” So many big words! And not enough playtime or candy, Right? Are ya with me? High fives!

So I wanted to get real simple and tell you a couple of things about your parents. They’re actually GOBLINS. That’s right, GOBLINS! Do you know what a goblin is? A goblin is a monster who has a human brain cut in half and then half again, one that is shriveled up and purple like a prune! Eww! Prunes! They also smell really really bad, mostly because they eat brains for breakfast! YUCK! Don’t forget this, either–goblins have ugly feet, and because they are so stupid, they can’t carry on normal conversations, carry on productive lives, or write two verses that rhyme.

So these goblin parents of yours, they were cursed by a very ugly, wicked witch with a very, ugly wicked nose with a wart on it (Ewww!) a long time ago–a punishment for stealing cookies from autistic babies. Don’t worry if you don’t know what “autistic” means (by the way, it means “awesome.”) ANYWAY, so your goblin parents knew that one day they would have children, and those children would NOT BE GOBLINS! They would be wonderful, sweet, beautiful children named Irene and Randy. But the goblins knew, because of the curse, that those beautiful children would be DISGUSTED if they knew that the goblins were goblins. Maybe those beautiful children would ABANDON the goblins, because they were so icky and stupid! So they went to the witch doctor and asked for a spell… and the spell gave them the power of a hypnotic music. With the gift of one very simple, hypnotic song, they could BRAINWASH their beautiful children, and channel the hate of goblins somewhere, anywhere else! That’s right! They could make their children hate somebody else!!

So they wrote a song, which wasn’t very good (because they’re stupid goblins that can’t rhyme), and they played it for you every day. And you’ve been hypnotized with hatred ever since!

Additionally, your parents have also stolen most of your Christmas presents, killed your dog and goldfish, and eat cake while playing video games every night after you go to bed.

Oh, and also, I have heard that if you sing the “Yes on 8″ song more than 14 times, you also turn into a goblin.

The moral of the story is: divorce your parents. They’re narrow-minded assholes that have exploited and filmed you doing something terrible. When you grow older, I am sure that you will regret this, and on that day, I hope that you consider socking them both in the neckmeat.

And my advice to you is: if you want to get a lot of candy on Halloween, dress up as a sign that says, “Vote NO on Prop 8!” And when you walk around the neighborhood, be sure to chant, “Bigotry is Dead! My Parents are Goblins! Vote No on 8!” And no, it doesn’t rhyme–but that should just make it easier for your parents to follow along.

If you have any questions, just stay in touch!

Love and gummi bears,
Diana

Source
Thanks, Abe!

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We Don’t Buy It

April 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Girl, we know science is hot. But you gotta know it to own it, and frankly, we don’t think you do.

Source

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It Could Be So Easy

November 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Oh Gwen, see what happens when you give your Harajuku slaves the night off?


You actually look kind of… fierce. And hot, for a gummy blonde with glazed-over eyes. And you force me to bite the bullet and admit those facts, which is difficult for me (because I loathe you), but something I’m willing to do IF YOU WILL JUST EMANCIPATE MY YELLOW FRIENDS AND END YOUR TYRANNY OF EXPLOITASIAN. WHY DO YOU PERPETUATE THE CONFLICT?? LET’S END THIS WAR!!!!!

Source

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Welcome to Dollywood, Love and Angel and Music and Baby!

July 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Huckleberry Toys just announced the Fall 2007 release official Gwen Stefani dolls–Series II, to happen this fall. In anticipation of the full launch, 150 limited-edition dolls will be sold at Comic-Con (DISGRASIAN will of course be in attendance), first-come, first-serve, at $100 bucks a pop.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

“Hell no, I’m not fucking kidding. Pay up!”

I mean, wow. What a steal.

I’m not sure how, but for some reason I missed the buying bonanza of the first series of Gwendolls. In an effort to rectify the situation this morning, I of course went to check out the goods.

To my delight, I discovered that there are multiple versions of Gwen: BANANAS Gwen, Old-School Gwen, Tick-Tock Gwen! Woohoo!

And to my surprise, I also realized that there are individual dolls of the four Harajuku Girls (yes I know, not-live doll versions of life-size alive dolls! Confusing but true!). The wave of panic ran over me– maybe we’ve been wrong the whole time. Maybe Gwen hasn’t exploited these nameless, faceless slaves, maybe they really are stars in their own right! Maybe she is a kind and generous soul, merely offering a launch pad for these incredible, unique individuals to have their own career. I mean, they each HAVE THEIR OWN, INDIVIDUAL, CUSTOM-DESIGNED DOLL. It’s mind blowing. Their parents should be proud.

So I began to place my order, for LOVE:

ANGEL:
MUSIC:
and BABY:

…only to realize that all four of these bitches have the same bodies and faces, with different makeup and accoutrement.

Tricky, Gwen, but you can’t fool DISGRASIAN.

Source

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK!

April 13th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Quentin Tarantino, Exploitasian Extraordinaire, you are the DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! You totally earned it by posing in these David LaCrapelle photos from this month’s GQ:


Enjoy spending your half of the 2 dollars that Grindhouse made at the box office, Q! TGIF!

Source: GQ

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It’s An Honor Just to Be Nominated..Oh Wait, There Are No Nominees

April 4th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Peabody Award winners were announced today, and one self-important hard-hitting, big-toothed photogenic, exploiter journalist was totally overlooked.


Don’t cry, Lisa. Please don’t cry. I’m sure there are many more helpless little girls,

beaten down North Koreans,

and prisoners in maximum-security jails for you to step on on your way to the tippy-top!

Source Source

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