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As You Wish?

July 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


CNN.com recently aired a piece on a new concept-based cafe that allows Tokyo women to be “princesses”–that is, wear fake tiaras and dine on sweets and teas–while being waited on men.

Or, to be more clear, “Western” dudes.

According to the CNN report, female cafe owner Yuki Hirohata came up with the concept by walking the streets of Tokyo’s Shibuya ward. Two hundred women told her that they wanted a cafe where the waiters were all “male, good looking, treated them nice, but most importantly, were Western.”

“‘Being a gentleman is embarrassing for Japanese men,’ says cafe owner Yuki Hirohata. ‘Our culture isn’t like that.’ Hirohata says women are exhausted by the rules of Japanese society, unyielding in its expectations of a woman’s role in maintaining a career, home, husband, and family.

‘We’re tired from our daily lives,’ says [a] customer. ‘These guys are different from Japanese men. They’re smoother, and make me feel special.’

Um, what the hell is going on? First of all, everybody knows the whole “princess” thing is tired and requires far more than a cheap tiara and some tea (get me DIAMONDS! AND GOWNS! AND SOME PEACOCKS!) to be properly executed.

Moreover, are we gonna sit back and let a bunch of sleazy expats take all the credit for gentlemanly behavior? COME ON, bros! Time to step it up! Let’s (you) open some doors, and pull out some chairs, and pour some champagne, and put some caviar on blini with some creme fraiche and egg whites! And how about some sexy tunes? And how about taking the dog out while we’re (you’re) at it?

All of this is not hard and I know there are gentlemen among you…so step it up and hold on to our ladies! This is a matter of pride.

Ick.

…Especially cuz, er, the bar for chivalry actually seems pretttttty low.

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Thanks, Maris!

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You’re Bloggin’ Me Down

May 8th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Dear John, author of the blog Got Rice?:

Jen and I were so excited when we saw that there was a website called “Got Rice?”… quite frankly, the answer was and is YES. We were like, “Woohoo! Is it crispy rice? Is it short grain? Is it brown?” We love it all. Mmm. So we checked you out.

First off, your logline kinda sucks: “Not your mama’s expat?” Oof. That doesn”t make any sense– but whatever, a logline is hard to come up with (and not everybody can use “You’re a Disgrace. To the Race.”). Regardless, Got Rice? has promise.

Wow… about you? You have the sentence structure of a second grader. You sound like a nerd. Please let “Asian female form :) ” refer to porcelain statues of female Chinese warriors from the early 20th century. Please…

Oh my GOD! You didn’t mean porcelain statues of female Chinese warriors from the early 20th century!!! You have a RUNNING LIST OF HALF NAKED “ASIAN BEAUTIES” ON YOUR BORING-ASS BLOG. You have moved to China to trick some sad, unassuming woman with no grasp of English to give you your first hand job, hoping she won’t notice that your sad, shriveled boyhood is no bigger than a Sharpie. Ugh! You BLOW. You’re BORING. You’re LAME.

Good gracious, John. The next time you promise “rice” and don’t deliver, you’re gonna get a little something from me, and it’s gonna taste like knuckle sandwich.

Talk soon! K.I.T.

xoxo,
Diana

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