DISGRASIAN™

Lifestyle Asiaphilia Kills

lifestyle Asiaphile
n.
A person who fetishizes Asian dress, food, religion, and/or culture, often to the detriment of his/her own health and that of others.

Yoga and hair weave-enthusiast Jeremy Piven was forced to drop out of a Broadway production of Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow this week after “shocking levels” of mercury–attributed to eating too much sushi and Chinese herbs–were found in his system. His doctor told People magazine that Piven’s decision to leave the play was purely medical and had nothing to do with the Entourage actor’s widely-perceived douchery.

Since Entourage is on hiatus, fans of the Pivert will have to settle for watching reruns of the Discovery Channel’s “Journey of a Lifetime with Jeremy Piven,” a 2006 series documenting Piven’s spiritual passage to India. Namaste!

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Filed under: Asiaphilia, Cultural Appropriasian, David Mamet, Entourage is Overrated, Fetishes, HBO Entourage, Jeremy Piven, Lifestyle Asiaphile, Loving Us Long Time, Namaste, The Pivert, Yoga

NoPiv

Ugh. I just lost my appetite.

Wait one Gap cotton pickin’ minute!

I thought Jeremy Piven had been banned from all of Nobu Matsuhisa restaurants, a fitting punishment for tipping an esteemed sushi chef with a filthy Entourage DVD.

So what was that derelict doing disturbing the sushi peace by fighting with his mother Friday night at NYC’s Nobu? Has someone hugged it out with him? Doesn’t anyone realize that he doesn’t respect the roe? Who is manning the reservation desk at this joint!?

Disrespecting your parents could not be less Asian. Disrespecting Nobu, even more so.

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Filed under: Disappointing Your Parents, Diss-course, Entourage is Overrated, Fighting, Jeremy Piven, Keep the Sushi Peace, Nobu Matsuhisa