You are currently browsing posts tagged with Enough Already

ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

April 28th, 2010 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

Have you heard about Lisa Mei Norton, right-wing Christian conservative country singer/songwriter?

America's rack!

She wants to keep her guns, finds Michelle Malkin and her ilk to be “smart,” thinks we’ve gone socialist, believes Obama wasn’t born here and loves to (tea) party. Oh, and she’s already working on the indoctrinasian of her six-year-old son. Translasian: She watches Fox News.

Check out her buzzword-laden Tea Party anthem, “A Revolution’s Brewing,” a lovely ditty for all 3,000 of those adorable, overly-acknowledged, grammatically-challenged teabaggers:

Continue reading ROCK OF TEA PARTY NASIAN: Lisa Mei Norton

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Viet Dinh

February 19th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

You may remember Viet Dinh as George W. Bush’s Assistant Attorney General from 2001 to 2003, and the man hailed as the main author of The Patriot Act (for a memory refresher, download his opus here).


Dinh made a speaking appearance on a panel today at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference, and used the mic to defend the Patriot act as well as call out President Obama for killing too many terrorists.

From HuffPo:

“Why have executions increased?” asked Viet Dinh, a professor at Georgetown University Law Center and one of the authors of the USA Patriot Act. Citing a recent Washington Post article on the increased targeted killing of terrorists, Dinh complained that “the president and vice president expound this fact as a fact that they are actually successful in war.”

“That doesn’t mean I think they are not illegitimate,” he added. “No, we have every right to kill the other side’s warriors. But at what cost? When we do not have an effective detention policy the only option we have is to kill them before we can detain them. And if we don’t detain them, we don’t know what they know and what they are up to.”

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Viet Dinh

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Please, God, Let This Be Jon Gosselin’s 15th Minute

August 31st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


“Fuck you, TLC! Why don’t you take your fuckin’ morals and fuckin’ shove ‘em? Do you see me? Hostin’ a pool party in Vegas. I’m gonna be a fashion designer, dudes, so I ain’t gonna need your dumb baby-parenting show anymore. I have officially arrived.

My god, I am livin’ the life… livin’ the G.D. life, aight? Fame and uh, fortune. Bitches, bikinis and booze, yo. Look how large I’m rollin’.

Ahem. You may try to squash my Ed Hardy promo tour, but I will make you regret the day you ever put me on camera, touting me as a good parent. Ya hear that? YOU WILL REGRET IT. I AM NOT A GOOD PARENT. SO THERE.

[NY Mag: Christian Audigier and Jon Gosselin Want to Design a Kids’ Line Together]
[Access Hollywood: Jon Gosselin Hosts Vegas Pool Party, Kate Throws Bash Of Her Own]

Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Slant Eye-dolotry

August 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


We almost lost our muzzafuzzin’ minds today when a photo of the Argentine women’s soccer team (rocking Spain’s chink-eye style) surfaced on Gawker–holy frijoles, are we witnessing a “respect” epidemic?? It’s like a worldwide fad of “loving” spinning crazily, slantily, er–respectfully out of control!!! Awesome!

We’ve actually written a song about it. It goes a little somethin’ like this (hit it!):

People all over the world (everybody)
Squint eyes (slant)
Start a love train, love train
People all over the world (all the world, now)
Chink those eyes (chink eyes!)
Start a love train (love eye), love train
The next stop that we respectfully make will be soon
Tell all the folks in Argentina, and Spain, too
Don’t you know that it’s time to get on board
And let this train keep on riding, it’s funny hoo hoo!
Well, well
People all over the world (you don’t need no money)
Squint eyes (come on)
Start a love train, love train (don’t need no Asians, come on)
People all over the world (Join in, ride this train)
Join in (Ride this train, y’all)
Start a love train (Come on, train), love train
All of you brothers over in Africa
Tell all the folks in Egypt, and Israel, too
Please don’t miss this train o’ impersonasian
‘Cause if you miss it, I feel sorry, sorry for you
Well
People all over the world (Sisters and brothers)
Squint eyes (Squint ‘em, come on!)
Start a love train (ride this train, y’all), love train (Come on)
People all over the world (Don’t need no tickets)
Squint eyes (come on, eyes)
Start a love train, love train
Eyes, slanty eyes
Squint those eyes
Loving eyes
People, ain’t no war
People all over the world (on this train)
Chinky eyes (ride the train)
Start a love train, love train (ride the train, y’all)
People all over the world (come on)
Squint eyes (you can ride or stand, yeah)
Start a love train, love train (makin’ love)
People all over the world (’round the world, y’all)
Squinty eyes (come on)
Start a love train, love train

Ringtone available soon! Until then, just keep those eyes chinky!!!

Source Source Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: , , , , , , , , ,

What’s Your Damage, Rivers?

April 22nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I once spent the better part of two years–during the furious shift out of my late teens–working through an epic collection of poetry. It spanned early observations of the incremental breakdown of my mother’s side of the family to the detritus of my first love, from guilt about sex to a love affair with drunken sunrises. Needless to say, it was a pile of self-indulgent shit, but it was my shit, sincere shit from my young heart and achy-breaky-burning soul.

I had the entire thing enclosed in a romantically battered leather file folder, which tied closed with a leather string and made the documents inside feel precious and ancient. My older sister stumbled upon it one day and asked if she could see what was inside, to which I acquiesced, half-hoping that she would be so moved that she would cry all over the leather file (adding even more salt-water character to its mahogany-colored exterior). I was exposing my insides; but in the presentational, on-paper way, my private thoughts for public display. I wanted her to tell me that the volume should be published, that I belonged in the Canon of writers, that my young age truly belied my incredible wisdom and cadence.

My sister scanned through three or four pieces and then smiled, saying, “They’re really good, Di. I like the one about the tree, you used really charming words. I don’t know if Mom would want to read that one about her sisters, though.” Then she closed the whole thing up and handed it back to me–a girl seething both with disappointment and rage. I threw my leather file in a drawer and didn’t find it again until last year, when I moved and was forced to rifle through 35 boxes of storage. And whenever she asked to read my writing after that day, I would only send her graded essays from college or my weekly music column, so that when she called them “good” I wouldn’t care one way or the other.

I guess, in some way, I can identify with what I call Rivers Cuomo’s interminable disappointment, a cloud that landed over him after he vomited up his deepest, darkest secrets and set them to cacophonous pop for his band Weezer’s 1996 sophomore effort, Pinkerton. Even though critics by and large found the album brilliant, the rest of the world was like, “Dude, this shit about asian chicks doesn’t sound anything like ‘Buddy Holly’” and refused to buy. Instead of giving everyone the finger and recording more weird Cuomo brianarrhea after that, he simply recoiled, spending years as a crazy hermit with a dark soul. It really didn’t seem like he would ever write again, how could he? He was probably too old to dream up surf hits, and no one dug his love of Madame Butterfly.

But Rivers did emerge in 2001, this time with a big fuck-you finger that came in the shape of this:

“You liked my blue album? Well, then: second verse, same as the first.”

Anyone that ever sat through a verse of his idiotic stoner anthem “Hash Pipe” could read between the lines: Rivers was in full rage mode. If we didn’t like his diaries, he was gonna give us what we liked. Skateboards. Weed. Cheeky hooks. Power chords. Rock on!

And it worked. People gobbled it up. So he did it again. And again. Fuck you guys, I’m gonna make more lame jock rock. Fuck you all!!! Cuomo is angry!

And it looks like, over 12 years after The Pinkerton Incident, he wants to do it yet again:

“Get it? The Red Album! Get it??”

And quite frankly, I’ve had it. And so now I need to speak directly to the guy.

Note to Rivers Cuomo:
RIVERS, I UNDERSTAND YOUR RAGE. NOBODY WANTS THEIR INNERMOSTS POO-POO’D ON. BUT DUDE, WE’VE ALL (ESPECIALLY THOSE OF US WITH HARDASS ASIAN FAMILIES) BEEN THROUGH IT, AND EVENTUALLY WE ALL JUST HAD TO REALIZE THAT NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO UNDERSTAND EVERY PART OF US, AND WE CAN’T JUST GO AROUND PUNISHING THE WORLD TO MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BETTER. SOMEBODY DOES LOVE YOU–THAT SWEET LITTLE JAPANESE (SURPRISE) GIRL THAT YOU MARRIED A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO–SO LET HER BE THE ONE TO “GET” THE COMPLEX BLARGHITY-FOO OF YOUR BRAIN AND STOP HAMMERING AT US WITH THESE STUPID, SEMI-IRONIC, TERRIBLY-TUNED, FUCK ALL Y’ALL RECORDS. I CAN’T HANDLE IT ANYMORE. IT’S BEEN OVER A DECADE. GET A THERAPIST. OR AS MY FORMER INTERN USED TO TYPE IN EMAILS, “THERAPITS.”

Anyway, later.
Diana

P.S. Ew, you’re such an icky Asiaphile which is still just such a bummer. Don’t tell me that’s an unfair accusation!! I didn’t come up with the concept for the El Scorcho EP cover, did I?

Source Source Source Source Source Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Absolute Celebutardasian

April 1st, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I have absolutely no idea why I know that Paris Hilton spent a half hour with a fake shaman, or that Audrina Patridge even exists (and got a fake tattoo in chinaspeak spelling out “fried meat and rice” last week). I resent myself for spelling their names correctly, and to boot, spelling those names on Jen’s and my sacred blog (where they share real estate with real winners like Michelle Malkin and Tila Tequila). Yes, yes, for these things I am truly ashamed.

And okay, I’m also a little embarrassed that, like lots of other celebublog readers, I fell for both fauxperiences–worst of all, placing a call to Jen on Friday that went something like: “Dude. Audrina, that girl with the weird floating eyes on The Hills got a wack Chinese lettering tattoo. Can you read it? It’s so wrong! Take her ass to court!”

I was fooled for a minute, sure. But what annoys me more is word on the e-street that both staged photo-ops were apparently produced bits for Ass-ton Kutcher’s new “gotcha!” series, Pop Fiction–a self-rewarding, for-celebutards-by-celebutards reality show in which idiot camera whores poop the paparazzi. Because the famous-for-nothings need more reasons to congratulate themselves.

“TAKE THAT, ‘TMZ‘! Now watch me in ‘The Butterfly Effect.’”


Wow. Who orders up eight episodes of this shit? I think we should all be ashamed.

Source Source Source Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , ,