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BABEWATCH: Mariqueen Maandig

May 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Mariqueen Maandig

Occupation: Model, singer for LA band West Indian Girl

Why She’s A Babe: We’ll admit, we didn’t know much about Q (apparently she goes by the letter to avoid lengthy conversations about her actual name) until her engagement to Trent Reznor was announced today. But there’s no denying of this lady’s hotness–cuz she rocks in her own right, refuses to tone her wild style down, and–like her whole family (in her own words)–was “corseted by God” wtih a teeny-tiny, s-s-sexy and womanly waist.

Okay, we’re officially jealous. Not of her upcoming nuptials, but definitely of her corset.

[West Indian Girl - Official Site]

xo, jen!

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Mad Wedding

December 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I am rather obsessed with Christina Hendricks, who plays Mad Men‘s glorious, whip-smart, feline secretary Joan Holloway. Her porcelain skin, bodacious hips, magnificent coif, wardrobe of endless solids, and elegant neck are the stuff of goddesses, or at least of wonderful seductresses and forces of nature. If you watch Mad Men (it should basically be required viewing), you know that it would be impossible to imagine the spitfire embodied by any other woman–because Joan needs to be played be a woman, and Hendricks is most certainly a woman.

Hendricks is an antidote to a plague of Hollywood’s dull-eyed, static, overdressed, bony girl actresses (like the entire cast of the new 90210 that I refuse to investigate)–who parade down Robertson Blvd. as meaningfully as a film premiere red carpet and become US Weekly staples well before they amass multiple credits on their IMDB.

She’s wonderful! And now she’s engaged…

…to one of us, actor Geoffrey Arend, who–look!–has a face any mother would love. I’m already dying just imagining how cute their babies will be!

Congratulasians go out to the happy couple!

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Dealing Or Not Dealing

April 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
WORLD NEWS WRAP-UP! What’s going on this week:

Gas Prices Soar to an Unprecedented $119.90 a Barrel

Global Food Crisis: 100 Million People Can’t Afford Food

Iceland’s Economy Could Collapse Due to International Investment Flailings

Al-Qaeda Announces Continued Plans to Target Western countries involved in the Iraq War

Attacks on Humanitarian Convoys Force U.N. to Cut Darfur Food Relief

Australia Braces Itself for Pro-Tibet Choices as It Hosts the Olympic Torch

Jenna Bush is Getting Married! She Shows Off Her Sparkly Ring to Larry King

Commander-in-Chief Spends QT With Howie Mandel on Hit Game Show, Deal or No Deal

…Phew! Glad to know that somebody is taking care of all of this drrrrama!

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April 17th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Overheard at DISGRASIAN HQ this morning:

DIANA: Dude. Did you hear that Yul Kwon got engaged?

JEN: I don’t wanna talk about it.

DIANA: Me neither.

Awkward silence.

JEN: He gave her a cushion-cut diamond ring.

DIANA: Ooh. Cushion-cut. Niiiiiice.

JEN: And she’s so cute, you really can’t hate her.

DIANA: Yeah. I know what you mean. And she’s soooo skinny. I mean, look at those arms.

JEN: What about those legs? I had those legs…once.

DIANA: When I was twelve.

JEN: They’re really skinny.

DIANA: Some might say too skinny.

JEN: Almost painfully skinny.

DIANA: Know what? I can’t do this. (sighs) I hate her.

JEN: Loathe the bitch.

Thanks, Jasmine and John!

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August 17th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Our warmest farts wishes go out to First Drunk Girl Daughter Jenna Bush, who just announced her engagement to some conservative tool in khaki pants Henry Hager. I think it’s safe to say that their children will not be as cute as the rightful-First Daughter Sarah Gore’s and new husband Bill Lee’s offspring…

…but I’m sure that what the future Bush-Hager spawn lack in looks, they will make up for mightily in brains.

Keep up the good work, Jenna! You are truly an inspirasian to fat, drunken, sloppy, dumb, average-looking, useless girls around the world!

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