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Katherine Heigl to Become Less Annoying by Adopting a Korean Baby

September 10th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Somewhere on the road to becoming America’s next rom-com sweetheart, Katherine Heigl stumbled. Newsweek published a story in July trying to chart how that happened exactly, noting that the phrase “I Hate Katherine Heigl” generated twice as many results as “I Hate Tara Reid” (although Heigl is still safely behind “I Hate Gwyneth Paltrow,” which yields 52,400 results at present count).

Her first misstep? When she called Knocked Up, the work that made her a legit film star, “a little sexist,” a comment that continued to haunt her a year-and-a-half later when the movie’s director Judd Apatow and star Seth Rogen appeared on Howard Stern and mocked her for it, with Rogen adding that Heigl saying “batshit crazy things” was “kind of her bag now.” Then there was that whole Emmy nomination withdrawal kerfuffle, when she managed to look a gift horse in the mouth once again by insulting the entire writing staff of Grey’s Anatomy, who had made her a legit TV star.

The latest with Katherine Heigl is that she and her husband are adopting a special-needs baby from Korea. (Heigl’s older sister Meg was also adopted from Korea.) She broke the news first on Ellen, which will air this Friday.

So far, not even Perez Hilton–who was specifically cited in the Newsweek piece as having turned on Heigl–has had a bitchy thing to say about this. Is becoming a new mother what it’ll take to soften public opinion toward the 30 year-old actress?


All we know is that babies are a lot like crack. And Asian babies are kinda like rock that’s so addictive, it makes you forget you’re smoking crack in the first place–you’re just naturally euphoric and giddy and it’s totally normal that your windows are melting–like the stuff Whitney used to smoke that put her in hardcore denial, when she claimed that Whitney “don’t do crack” and “crack is wack.” And Asian babies make you forget, kinda the way crack does, that people suck and say stupid things and are chronically annoying, especially when they’re strapped to those same people in a cute Ecuadorian baby sling. Take a gander at aznbabyz.com if you don’t believe us, then imagine one of those little ones–with their chubby cheeks and sausage legs–attached to Katherine Heigl’s hip, and then try hatin’ on her. Pretty tough, right?

Thanks, uccloud9!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Yuto Miyazawa

May 13th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Sometimes in life, the only words that are adequate in a situation are not actually words–they’re letters of an acronym.

And after hours of scratching my head, mouth agape, viewing sick video of teeny-tiny Yuto Miyazawa (a kid that picked up a guitar when he was 3, and has clearly only been playing rad axe-grinders for the six years since), I’ve realized that this is one of those sometimes.

Honestly, the only adequate letters for this moment are:

WTF?!?

[Yuto Miyazawa on Ellen]
[Yuto Miyazawa via Relix]

Thanks, Lezak!

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