DISGRASIAN™

We All Look Alike? Well If You Say So, Let’s Get A Drink

I used my sister’s California drivers license as a fake ID from age 14 to 20. She’s eight years older, four inches shorter, and about 20 pounds lighter than me. I remember using the faker in Vegas with a mouthful of braces to win $160 in blackjack, during high school to get into 21+ shows, and all through college to stock my liquid-soaked house parties with coconut-flavored rum and Wild Turkey. Look, if the person checking my face was too dumb to tell us apart, who was I to point out their inadequacies? And for crying out loud, if a Parrot Bay and Wild Turkey purchase isn’t a dead giveaway of total underage-ness, I don’t know what is.

Is benefiting from some dork thinking all Asians look alike wrong? I don’t know. Do I care? Eh, not really.

Gawker reported this morning that three Japanese Lolitas (image above is not them) crashed Tom Ford’s ultra-secret, 100-seat fashion week party Monday night (just one bash, according to a tipster, of many among “the hottest parties all around town.”) Clad in platforms and pinafores, the trio gained entry by saying that one of them was Vogue Nippon editor-in-chief Mitsuko Watanabe, whose photo is to the right (One can only infer that Watanabe rarely, if ever, rocks her homeland’s esoteric, dirty-little-girl street style).

Unfortunately for the imposter and her party pals, Watanabe had already arrived and was seated in her, er, seat. The jig was quickly up and the girls were sent on their merry way. But the coup did happen–success for the Japanese Lolita tricksters! Can you blame them for trying? And succeeding?

Look, if the hoighty-toighty party list weilders are too stupid to tell them apart…

[via Gawker]
[Styleite: Japanese Trio Crashes Tom Ford's Private Show]

Continue reading We All Look Alike? Well If You Say So, Let’s Get A Drink

Filed under: Editors, Fake I.D.s, Fashion Week, Fashism, Gawker, Japanese Lolita Trio, Japanese Lolitas Crash Tom Ford Show, Lolita Fashion, Mitsuko Watanabe, New York, Parrot Bay, Party Crashers, Private Shows, Really Dumb People, Tom Ford, Vogue Magazine, Vogue Nippon, We All Look Alike, Wild Turkey

DISGRASIAN’s Summer Reading: Lisanti Quarterly

We’ll be away from our desks the month of August, carrying on with the non-bloggy aspects of our lives, watching mindless movie blockbusters, and indulging in summery drinks made with generous pours of bourbon. During this month, we’ll be linking each day to a different website that we ♥. Hopefully you’ll discover something delightful and new while we’re gone. If not, you are a serious Captain Crankypants and are probably in dire need of a summery drink made with a generous pour of bourbon.

‘Til September, lovelies.

Mark Lisanti is the funniest man on the Internet.

Now before you say, “But what about Gwyneth? He’s a fuckin’ gas!” let me just tell you that I’ve been making this declaration repeatedly since 2004, when I discovered Lisanti’s little H-wood insider blog Defamer (after carrying the site to Gawker-fueled ubiquity, he left his founding editor post in ’08). I blurted the words to him at a poorly-attended cocktail party at Sundance ’06, after an hour of awkwardly hanging out in wait for Robin Tunney’s arrival, when his buddy casually dropped his name and I lost my shit faster than a rookie chili-eating contestant. I say it snarkily at parties, when I realize he’s funnier in HTML than in person (ZING, sucka! I kid, I kid). I grumble it to the sky ever single time the guy outfunnies me on a Facebook wall (this happens more frequently than you would think). And I sighed it aloud yesterday, when I read about his new gig as Deputy Editor of Yahoo! Entertainment Blogs via Business Insider (who I must applaud for choosing a most distinguished photo of the lad to compliment his success).

Super funny people are typically the worst folks in the world to be friends with. For one, the odds of them being totally crazy/depressed/derelict/perverse is about 100%. And two, they spend most of their time with you either being spitefully unfunny (they are, after all, “off the clock”) or proving, at all times, how much more twisted, quick-draw and sharp they are than everybody else. But the thing is, Lisanti doesn’t have to be cementing sticky celebrity nicknames or befriending Tawny Kitaen to make you laugh. He just makes you laugh. I often wonder if he even has to try to be funny, because gentle–but memorable–humor seems to seep out of his pores like joy from a unicorn’s eyes. He is Continue reading DISGRASIAN’s Summer Reading: Lisanti Quarterly

Filed under: Bloggers, Defamer, Editors, Entertainment Blogs, Friends are Nice, Funny Men, Funny People, Gawker, Hollywood, Jersey Shore, Losing Your Shit, Mark Lisanti, Robin Tunney, Sundance, Tawny Kitaen, Writers, Yahoo

BABEWATCH: Peggy Wang

Name: Peggy Wang

Hails from: Brooklyn

Occupation: Buzzfeed senior editor, Musician

Why She’s a Babe: Besides rocking badass broom bangs, a darling hipster fashion sense, and one absolutely perfect pucker, she’s basically our dream chick. This lady sports great taste in web filler, bears a deep love for hard liquor, puts her piano talents to good use, Continue reading BABEWATCH: Peggy Wang

Filed under: Bangs, Brooklyn, Buzzfeed, Cool Chicks, Crushes, Editors, Funny Ladies, Hipsters, Indie Bands, Keyboards, Liquor, Musicians, New York, Peggy Wang, Tastemakers, The Pains of Being Pure At Heart

BABEWATCH: Janice Min, Soon-to-Be Ex-Us Weekly Editor-in-Chief

Name: Janice Min

Age: 39

Occupation: Tabloid editor

Why She’s a Babe: Janice Min has this kind of sweet Michelle Kwan-all-growed-up vibe. And she’s got hot, skinny legs that she isn’t afraid to show off. But mostly, we love her because she’s entertained us through countless plane rides and PMS-cycles for the last 6 years as editor-in-chief of the best print-tabloid on the market, Us Weekly, a post she announced she’s stepping down from this week. Will her successor be able to delude us into thinking celebrities are “just like us”? We’re more than a little dubious. Hopefully he won’t fuck with the formula–i.e. packing the mag with pictures, leaving the sad human interest stories to People–or Us will soon be dead to us.

Source

Filed under: Death of Print Media, Editors, Hot Legs, Janice Min, Just Like Us, People Magazine, Tabloids, US Weekly