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Often when we award the distinctive honor of DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK, the offender’s biggest problem is that they are shameless about whatever shitty thing they’ve done.
This week, however, we recognize disgrace that has been acknowledged and loaded with a truckful of shame. As you may know, Toyota recently recalled eight auto models with brake pedal sticking problems, after a widely-publicized car crash took the lives of a CHP officer and his family.
Today, Toyota CEO of three months Akio Toyoda stood before the Japan National Press Club to deliver a most ashamed, sprawling, grief-laden public apology.
A little more than three months after assuming his post, the president of Toyota, the world’s biggest automaker, recited a long list of mea culpas to astonished reporters at the Japan National Press Club.
Filed under: Absolute Shame, Apologies, Economic Crisis, Fatal Car Crash CHP Officer, Global Economics, Japan National Press Club, Lexus, Public Apologies, Salvasian, Shame, Toyota, Toyota CEO Akio Toyoda, Toyota President Apologizes, Toyota Recall
The NY Times has reported that Japan’s robots are now facing a devastating rise in unemployment, due to the economic slump of our current worldwide recession.
What does this mean for American robots? OH MY GOD, WHAT WILL ANN CURRY DO!?!? IS SHE GOING TO BE OKAY!?!???????????????????????? ANN! BABY! IF YOU’RE READING THIS, CALL ME AND I’LL START PUTTING MY FEELERS OUT FOR NEW GIGS. WE’LL FIND SOMETHING. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT.
Thanks, Eliza and Pete!
Our friend Raymond sent over this local Fox News piece, broadcast live (no idea why) from one of Garden Grove, CA’s newest and hottest Vietnamese alternatives to Starbucks: Cafe Di Vang 2.
I know what y’all expect from me: an angry, shame-filled tirade. I know, I know… there’s so much innuendo in this news piece alone–Vietnamese ladies in “high heels and revealing outfits?” Providing “quality service?” Plenty scandalous. Probably pretty bad for the collective rep of my peeps. Hey, these comfort cafes are nothing new in Little Saigon. But whatever.
All I’ve got to say is wow, they can get dudes in these economic times to pay 6 bucks for a smoothie and $4 for a nonrefillable coffee? Dayum, these ladies must be doing something right. Whatever that something may be.
Filed under: "Service", Asian Hooters, Bikinis, Coffee Houses, Economic Crisis, Fake Tits, Garden Grove, Hooters, Innuendo, Orange County, Same Ol' Same Ol', Theme Cafes, Weird Vietnamese-American Behavior
If the tumbling world economy doesn’t kill the luxe House of Chanel (Lawd, please, no!), I do worry that an icky epidemic of sublebrity surrogates will.
I mean, as if this display alone isn’t bad enough…
…then (Ewwww!) THIS should do the trick:
Ultra-shame is the nail in the coffin, guys. The nail in the coffin.
Filed under: Bobby Trendy, Bringing Down the House, Chanel, Economic Crisis, Famous-For-Nothings, Heidi Montag, karl lagerfeld, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Puke, Shame by Celebrity Proxy, Sublebrities
I saw this headline in today’s WSJ…
…and was like, Whoa, sweet! China’s making therapists now, too? Great news!!! Maybe that’ll make sessions in Hell-lay more affordable, if not slightly more expedient! Maybe this is a giant leap for Asiankind, because it means that we’re not so scared to admit that life sucks for everybody and we need to deal with it and what better way than looking up at the ceiling and free-associating pretty much everything from the sky to our road rage with the relationships we have with our parents?
Turns out, however, that the Chinese manufacturing sector has really just shrunken. That’s actually kinda bad news.
The tenuous fate of America’s Big Three auto corporations has everybody on edge, and people are fightin’ mad: Dems feel like the Republicans failed them on the now-dead auto bailout, the Unions feel like they are being unfairly attacked, the hundreds of thousands of workers employed in the auto industry are nauseous thinking about the holidays, and nobody has figured out how to make the situation better.
So what’s a person to do? Buy American? That’s a complicated task, especially when it comes to cars, which are now such a product of globalization that even Fords and GMs and Chevys are always partly constructed from foreign parts. Stop buying altogether? Not recommended by Warren Buffett. What about… we just kick the dog? That’s always the easiest thing to do, and seems to be, more times than not, the good ol’ American way.
Car dealer O.C. Welch seems to take some comfort in taking a toe to the pup–he released five radio ads last week attacking patriots for buying Japanese cars.
He’s pretty durned specific that it’s the Japs’ faults (not the Germans… nor the Swedes) for ruining the American auto industry. How they happen to be so faulty, it’s hard for me to decide–perhaps it’s in designing cars that are fuel-efficient, long-lasting, and aesthetically pleasing BEFORE going nearly bankrupt and asking for federal aid (“Oh totally, Congress, it’s 2008! We in Detroit are totally gonna look into this, like, eco thing now, swear!”). Perhaps it’s for manufacturing cars in America and employing hundreds of thousands of American workers!
Welch maybe says it best: “”All those cars are rice ready. They’re not road ready.” Uh, what? First of all, did somebody say “rice?” Where? Let’s drive and get some in a fuel-efficient imported car! Second of all, are we really going to try and lie to ourselves by saying that American cars are better equipped for the road, and that Japanese cars are not? That’s just sad. We can’t go there; we’ll feel so stupid.
If there’s one thing Welch should be blaming his lackluster car sales on–if not inevitable economic cycles, poor corporate management, and his own bad choice of career–it’s the fact that he’s peddling shitty cars. And he can hate on the slant-eyes all he wants, but for the time being, that fact isn’t going to change.
It has been declared, finally, by the National Bureau of Economic Research: the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007.
Jeez, we’re super smart– we called it a long time ago! (Then again, so did all of the average-brained folks, so I guess that’s not saying much.)
So, what to do in such times of financial crisis? Cry? Drink? Steal? We could do like Warren Buffet and invest in American products. And I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, but DISGRASIAN is American. And y’know, “investing” in us is pretty much free–just click on over, and freely imbibe in the sweet/salty liquor of our shaming!
Enjoy the free fun of DISGRASIAN, day in and day out. It’s free! Did I mention that it’s free?
During this horrible economic crisis, deemed our “economic Pearl Harbor” by Warren Buffett, when the Dow drops 700 points in a day and dips below 10,000 for the first time in 4 years, and people are worried about their jobs and their retirements, what we really need in this country is…a bailout plan? Job creation? Change?
No, silly. We need more FABULOSITY. Which explains why E! chose to premiere Kimora Lee Simmons’s E! True Hollywood Story Friday, chock full of sage wisdom for these hard-scrabble times:
“I am probably the queen of opulence. I love my jewelry. I love my diamonds. I love my shoes. I have diamond shoes. Some people might prefer more demure look. I like it all out screaming. I don’t care.” – Kimora Lee Simmons
“In high school she had a Gucci bag or Louis Vuitton bag. We didn’t even know what that was.” – Shani Johnson, childhood friend
“She calls me as soon as Ming came out. I showed up at the hospital and I walk in and Kimora is ordering like gourmet food from Mr. Chows – still freshly had the baby like 10, 15 minutes ago and is ordering high end $500 Chinese food, and I put my order in too.” – Tyra Banks
Don’t despair if you missed the first showing. E! is running Kimora’s THS all this week. Crisis? What crisis?!
Tens of thousands of jobs have been lost. People are losing their homes. Banks are collapsing. The stock market has suffered an historic drop. The largest and most stable financial institutions in our country are declaring bankruptcy.
Even if you’re not willing to admit that we are suffering through an abysmal economic crisis of mass proportions (We’re “strong,” right, Dana Perino?), you’ve got to admit that uh, we’re kinda in trouble and need to figure out how to turn this country around.
What can we do? What’s going to help? More importantly, what does our fearless leader say?
Our Commander-In-Chief’s party mate and Presidential hopeful John McCain is pretty damn old, too. If he gets elected, should we start sending telegrams to the White House? Or just get really, really big bullhorns?