DISGRASIAN™

SELF-VLOGELLASIAN: 5:55 To Get Psyched For Fast Five

Perhaps you noticed–we haven’t blogged much in the last couple of weeks. Why? Because we’ve been key-razy busy counting down the days to today: the theatrical release of the newest Fast And Furious franchise installment: FAST FIVE!*

Thing is, Jen’s like a freakin’ Fast And Furious (Read: hot F&F cast members) expert and I… am not. So she decided to get me up to, ehrm, speed, in just five minutes and fifty-five seconds. Perhaps you, too, need a refresher course before you get Fast tonight? Then see below:

*We have no official connection to Fast Five or the Fast And Furious franchise**
**But oh, how we wish we did!

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Thanks, Thomas!

Filed under: Acuras, Devon Aoki, Drifting, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Fast and Furious, Hondas, John Singleton, Justin Lin, Michael Sungman Cho, movies, Nitrous, Paul Walker, Self-Vlogellasian, Shirtless Dudes, Taking Over Everything, The Fast And, Vin Diesel, VLOG, Volvos, We We We So Excited

The Apocalypse Begins Today

Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales, which was vigorously booed at Cannes and since recut, opens today. I, like so many other people, have been jonesing for Kelly’s follow-up to Donnie Darko. I’m also curious to see what Kelly does with the greatest actors of our generation–Samoan royalty Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Mandy “Fake Fatface” Moore, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Seann “Is the extra N in my name the reason I still get work?” William Scott. You’ll catch DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer Bai Ling–another noted thespian–in the trailer below, scored to the Pixies’ “Wave of Mutilation (UK Surf).” I’m hoping she keeps her tits in her dress (for once) in the movie, but then I have to remind myself that Southland Tales is, after all, a farce about the apocalypse.


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Filed under: Bai Ling, Donnie Darko, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Farces, Richard Kelly, Southland Tales, The Apocalypse

Come On Baby Light My Fire

Is it just because I live in Los Angeles that the phrase “Awards Season” has become common parlance? Are people in Iowa talking like this, and by “this,” I mean, like douchebags?

“Awards Season” 2007 has come and gone in predictable fashion: the Golden Globes were a joke, the Oscars were a bore–and a fashism blackhole–and I still don’t REALLY get the difference between the Independent Spirit Awards and the Screen Actors Guild Awards, except that one statuette is bird-shaped, the other is a thespian, and both are butt-ugly.

That said, the Taurus World Stunt Awards show–hosted by our half-Asian homey Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson–just took place in L.A. and it looked awesome.

Très cool party trick! Is there a way to try this at home without killing myself?

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Filed under: Awards Shows, Douchebags, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Iowans, Lighting Oneself on Fire For Kicks, Stunt People Are Rad