DISGRASIAN™

Coca-Cola’s Launched An Insidious Campaign To Turn Asians Into A Hugging People

And it seems to be working. Quite well. See what happens when you drop a vending machine that dispenses free Coke–in exchange for a hug–on a university campus in Singapore:

This is all part of Coca-Cola’s “Open Happiness” ad campaign, which will soon be introducing huggable Coke machines throughout Asia. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I probably just need to hug a machine and get some free diabetes in a can to feel better, amirite?

[via Gawker]

[Forbes: Coca-Cola Introduces Gesture Based Marketing in Singapore]

Filed under: Advertising, Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola Ad Campaign, Coca-Cola Ad Campaigns, Coca-Cola Ads, Coca-Cola Open Happiness Ad Campaign, Coke, Coke Ad Campaign, Coke Ad Campaigns, Coke Open Happiness Campaign, Drugs Not Hugs, Emotional Machines, Hug It Out, Huggable People, Needy Machines, Singapore, We Are Not A Hugging People, Weird

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Crazy Hong Kong Airport Lady

By now, unless you’re living in a cave without WiFi, you’ve seen the Crazy Hong Kong Airport Lady Fuh-Reak-Out on YouTube, along with–at present count–4.2 million other people.

When we first saw this, Diana was like, “Do you have any idea what she’s saying?”

And I was like, “Dude. I don’t speak Cantonese. But more importantly, those are not word-sounds coming out of her mouth. That lady is straight-up falling down.”

It seems kinda mean to call out a crazy lady, doesn’t it? And lord knows, we’ve all lost our shit at the airport, which we’re certain would be designated a ring of hell if Dante were alive today. But here’s where Crazy Hong Kong Airport Lady screwed up.

If you’re this prone to epic panic attacks–and we speak from personal experience–you ALWAYS WITHOUT EXCEPTION REMEMBER TO BRING DRUGS ON YOUR PERSON. ESPECIALLY TO THE AIRPORT. We’re talking Valium, Ativan, Xanax, Klonopin, and any other medication whose generic name ends in “azepam” that you would then chase down with a watery, airport lounge Bloody Mary. If you can’t remember that one itty-bitty detail, you really are useless. Except to 4.2 million people, all of whom are laughing at you.

Which serves some kind of purpose, we suppose.

*shrugs*

*pops pills ending in “azepam”*

Filed under: Benzodiazepines, Chinese Lady Misses Flight, Crazy Bitches, Crazy Hong Kong Airport Lady, Drugs Not Hugs, Falling Down, Shit Fits, Useless People, Xanax? Scotch?, YouTube Sensations