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Happy birthday to our beloved Jujubee, who turned 26 this week!
Darling, you are magnificent. We hope you got a long-overdue birthday call from your mama–and if you didn’t, well honeychild, come on over and we’ll hug you to our bosoms and tell you everything’s gonna be alright. Cuz everything’s gonna be alright.
MWAH! Dance the night away!!!
Ju have charisma.
Ju are unique.
Ju have got nerve.
Ju have talent!
Girl, ju may not have won Ru Paul’s Drag Race this season, but ju will always be the number one queen in our book (er, blog).
P.S. We still cannot believe you lost to that slow-talking bitch, Other Tyra. Honey, PLEASE!
During last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru announced one of my favorite challenges evvvaaarrr: each queen making their box pretty!
It was a PRETTY BOX exxxtravaganza, where Ru kept asking about the BOXES and cooing over the BOXES and delighting over scented BOXES and talking about how important a queen’s BOX is! After all, what’s more important than a drag queen’s box, you tell me? Nothin’!
During the challenge, I was not surprised to see “Tyra” gettin’ bitchy with all of the other ladies, and complaining that everyone was copying her (she does so every time).
See the quickfire challenge at 3:45 of the video below:
Filed under: Awesome, Bitch Fights, Boxes, Brilliant Reality Show Challenges, Copycats, Dirty Minds Think Alike, Drag Queens, Golden Box, Innuendo, Jujubee, Logo, Making Your Box Nice, Pretty Boxes, Queens, Reality TV, RuPaul, RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2, Scented Boxes, Tyra
I’ve gotta say, I was initially skeptical about ONGINA, the tiny, Asian contestant in RuPaul’s Drag Race–a cutthroat competition in which sassy male bitches with chutzpah, saucy hips, and perfect Mac makeup betta work for the honor of, to put it lightly, the fiercest drag queen in America.
It’s just an aversion to most words I can think of ending in “–gina.” I don’t have vagina fear, I just can’t help but think about the ol’ vajayjay word when I’m talking about, say, Angina (sounds painful). Or walking past the truly unfortunately-named casual Italian joint in LA’s Little Tokyo, Pastagina (I mean, seriously? All I’m sayin’ is don’t order the seafood). So yeah, I judged ONGINA on the name. Not a fun name. Not an okay name.
But guys, ONGINA is so fierce that I can’t even bring myself to write her name without caps lock. No, she doesn’t tuck or wear wig, but she’s just got the littlest legs, brassiest style, and prettiest face. And even better, she’s nice! So very, very nice! So nice, in fact, that when she was empowered to become team leader for a group of four, she actually played like a good girl and shared the responsibilities evenly, forsaking micromanagement for even-handed delegation.
Which actually inserted a little doubt in my mind. What kind of Asian person enters a group activity without a mini-meltdown? Is it possible to be Asian and not lead with the phrase, “Just let me do it?” I didn’t think so.
But once I saw how Miss ONGINA delivered her team’s choreography lesson (three times the dance moves, half the time), my fears were assauged. Any bitch that pushes his girls that hard has got to be Asian!
So glad to know ONGINA is definitely one of us one of us one of us one of us. Here’s hoping one fabulous one of us wins!
This photo was taken on my last night in Kigali, Rwanda (although I’m told the outfit is Senegalese):
Last night’s America’s Next Top Model was laugh out loud funny, because the girls, who are in Rome, had to film a Cover Girl commercial in Italian. Right around the 3:23 mark is when you hear America’s Next Top Drag Artist Dominique speak Italian like you’ve never heard it before, prompting director Piersandro Buzzanca to say, “To me, it was Chinese.” As a Chinese speaker, I have to say a) please don’t put that whatthefuckery on us and b) to me, it wasn’t a language known to man.
Last Friday, we reported on the opening of Suzie Wong’s, a downtown NY restaurant where the servers were originally slated to dress like geishas until someone must’ve told them that that idea is fuckin’ lame. Looks like the Disgrestaurant is taking things in another direction with…
This particular Suzie Wong got all up in actor Djimon Hounsou’s grill during Friday night’s Baby Phat party at the restaurant:
Filed under: Baby Phat, Disgrestaurants, Djimon Hounsou is Goooooood Lookin' But Keeping Rather Poor Company, Drag Queens, Geishas Are Tired, Kimora Lee Likes to Fight, Plain Ol' Phat, Suzie Wong Must Die
This week, DISGRASIAN’s favorite cuntdit Michelle Malkin posted “Meet the GOP Immigration Drag Queens” on her site and took Huckabee, Giuliani, and McCain to task for changing their stances on illegal immigration, the bee in Malkinbitch’s bonnet. She called Huckabee “a shameless border control cross-dresser” and wrote:
Bad enough that the Democrat candidates are still stuck in a 9/10 mentality on the nexus between immigration and national security. The question for conservatives is: Would a Republican immigration drag queen be any better — or worse?
Oh Malkinbitch. People ask us all the time why we don’t write about you more, and we’re happy to tell ya: 1) because you are the right-wing House Oriental, and when we read your blather, er, blog, all we see is a chick tryin’ to make a fast nickel instead of someone with real conviction, and 2) we really can’t stand looking at those terrifying teeth of yours; they give us nightmares.
But don’t go bringin’ cross-dressers and drag queens into the debate like they’re a bad thing. First off, we’re pretty sure that any drag queen worth her Adam’s Apple could kick your scrawny ass without lifting a french tip. Also, drag queens are awesome and most of them a lot hotter than you. Here are examples of some smokin’ he-bitches, for future reference:
Experiencing some self-loathing, perhaps?
…and pissed off that she is surrounded by a punch of pasty, awkward hags that make Opening Ceremony threads look like dollar bin drag rags.
A: Sonia Mowlicker. Freshman year in high school. … For the rest of the year my friends called me Sonia.
Rest of the year? More like, rest of your life, honey.
Guess what this headline, “It’s a man or it’s a woman,” is about.
Now for the real story from China Daily:
“A Shaanxi woman may have proved to all her restaurant coworkers Wednesday that looks could be deceiving.
A month after working in the restaurant and pretending to me a man, Gao Linsen shocked her colleagues when she delivered a baby boy in the eatery’s bathroom.
“I could not believe my eyes when I saw Gao deliver a baby,” said Zhang, the first employee to witness the scene.
She often wore men’s clothing and even told people she was a man. No one suspected she was a woman until the baby was born.
Gao Linsen is a man’s name, police said. They said she has refused to give them her real identity, where she came from or who the father is.”
So you get PREGNANT, change your name, get a job at a restaurant, pretend you’re a MAN, try to hold your head up high as your coworkers whisper “Damn, he got fuckin’ FAT” more and more with each passing day, and then a month later–you have a BABY. In the restaurant bathroom and…surprise!…you’re a WOMAN.
Huh?!? That’s either really clever or totally preposterous, I can’t decide which.