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Cadillac, The Car Of Choice For Philanderers And Wife-Beaters

October 19th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

First Tiger Woods, now Junior Seau…what is it about the Cadillac Escalade that makes it the perfect getaway car for men involved–allegedly–in domestic disputes?

Seau’s Escalade Escapade

Seau, who was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of domestic violence committed against his 25 year-old live-in girlfriend, drove his 3-ton SUV off a seaside cliff a few hours after the arrest. The NFL veteran came away from the accident with minor injuries and reportedly told police that he had fallen asleep at the wheel. His agent, Mike Kinkler, told ESPN that the arrest and the accident were unrelated.

“One had nothing to do with the other,” Kinkler said. “It’s unfortunate the two events happened so close together, but what people are reporting is completely untrue.”

Uh-huh. That’s what Tiger said.

This can’t possibly help the reputation of the Escalade as the douchemobile of choice, but it likely won’t hurt sales either, especially since Cadillac’s have soared 43.8% in the first nine months of this year. Because even philanderers and wife-beaters–alleged, that is–need a bumpin’ set of wheels.

[NY Times: Seau Is Injured in Crash Only Hours After Arrest]
[USA Today: Ex-wife: Junior Seau was not trying to kill himself when car plunged off cliff]

Thanks, Aliah!

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China Gets a Hummer (UPDATE)

June 26th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A Chinese company has reached a tentative agreement to buy GM’s bankrupt-in-every-sense-of-the-word Hummer division.

Which means we’re witnessing the dawn of a new age–China becoming a nation of 1.3 billion douchebags!

For those who were extremely terrified of Chinese people before…buckle your seatbelts.

[UPDATE: BusinessWeek reports that China may block the sale because of its "energy-saving goals." Douchebag Crisis averted?]

Thanks, @MarisaNakasone!
Thanks, Neal!

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