You are currently browsing posts tagged with Dontcha Wish You Cared?
THE INSANITY BAROMETER
“So you’re saying that to succeed in Hollywood I need to speak in full sentences, dress appropriately, and sing in key? Is this some kind of joke?*”
*Of COURSE it’s a joke. This is Hollywood, Butterface. If you want us to notice you, show us your cooch! Say something like “I’m a little bad, hee hee!” and “Fame is hard” “I don’t really try to be a sex symbol” and “There’s pressure to be thin” and “I love the Ivy because of the food, y’know?”
Filed under: Butterfaces, Coochie Coochie Cooch, Crazy Faces, Dontcha Wish You Cared?, Lacking Talent, Nicole Scherzinger
I Call Shenanasians
After all of CW’s tireless searching for the Pussycat Dolls’ Next Doll, Season One of The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll winner Asia Nitollano has announced that she is embarking on a solo career in lieu of touring with the group.
Was this some sort of trick? Does this mean they were never actually searching for the Next Doll after all? If so, all of my perception of truth has been shattered.
Moving on.
Um, I realize that the new season is already under production, but I move that we re-title the series The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Scantily-Clad Mediocre Talent That Can’t Really Dance or Sing But Eventually Wants to Be Photographed Frequently and Sing For Audiences, Sorta.
Kinda has a nice ring to it, dontcha think?
Filed under: Asia Nitollano, Dontcha Wish You Cared?, Lame, Pussycat Dolls, Reality TV, Shenanasians, The CW Blows, We're On to You
Dontcha Wish They Had Some Other Song?
Thankfully, Those dedicated Pussycat Dolls did not relent in their tireless search for the next “Doll,” and at long last, they’ve finally found her.
It’s Asia Nitallano, who we fortuitously examined in an earlier post (See the March 15 post: ‘It’s a Continent, You Fools’). An 18-year old former Knicks dancer and the daughter of Afro-Filipino American Latin musician Joe Bataan, Asia clawed, cawed, and grinded her way to the top, stuffing her sheltered-turned-sexy Asian adversary Melissa into the ground during the final sing-off round. Sure, Asia can’t sing or dance with much grace, but she has sass and charisma, and judge Lil’ Kim was there to confirm it.
Immediately after learning she had one, Asia joined the rest of the Pussycats for another torturous round of that hookless hit that won’t die. Watch the performance here:
Phew! Looks like fitting in won’t be too hard.
Filed under: Competing for the Opportunity to Dance and 'Sing' in Less than 1.2 Yards of Fabric, Dontcha Wish You Cared?, People Named Asia, Pussycat Dolls
